Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
How big/good is your support group?
The quality and quantity of one's support group seems to me like one of the most important and determining factors in our happiness in life.
I begin notice how, at the end of the day, it's the crux of many of my life dilemmas : "if I take this path, I will have a very lonely job", "if I take this path, I will have to move away from everyone I've ever known", "If I take this path, my social circle is bound to get stagnant or riddled with superficial interaction only" etc
Indeed, it's so important to me, that if you ask me what I'd like to work in, I couldn't possibly tell you, but if you assured me, I'd get to interact with lots of different people, on a regular basis, in a certain line of work and it didn't require me to move every 6 months.......I'd probably choose to do that for the rest of my life.
I have never felt more emotionally independent in my life than I do right now. I've learnt how to spend a lot of time by myself without it bothering me. I can indeed enjoy being by myself a lot of the time. Still, the depth and of my relationships seem to be reason why I feel well by myself. Relationships end though. People move. I plan on emigrating even. I don't have a clear idea of want I want to do for a living...but I'm pretty sure, the people that surround me will make or break my future in a sense.
As I get older, it gets a lot harder to meet new people and form new connections. I can only imagine it will get even harder in the future (I mean I'm only 24). I'm on the verge of losing everyone I've ever met, since I plan on moving to another country in the next couple of years. If I do go back to college I'll be in class with a bunch of 18 year olds. Fitting in, will be even harder. I've recently noticed how stressful this is for me.....not because of the people I'll leave behind, but because of fear of not ever feeling home anywhere again. And as we all know....home is where the heart is. Without new connections, without a solid and dynamic support group....I can't imagine sustaining the levels of contentment in my life I hunger for.
So how has life been treating you, in this regard? How has life changed for you over the years in terms of relationships? How many people can you truly count on? How understood do you feel? Is your life still exciting in the social department? Have any particular insights or advice to share with me about it?
I begin notice how, at the end of the day, it's the crux of many of my life dilemmas : "if I take this path, I will have a very lonely job", "if I take this path, I will have to move away from everyone I've ever known", "If I take this path, my social circle is bound to get stagnant or riddled with superficial interaction only" etc
Indeed, it's so important to me, that if you ask me what I'd like to work in, I couldn't possibly tell you, but if you assured me, I'd get to interact with lots of different people, on a regular basis, in a certain line of work and it didn't require me to move every 6 months.......I'd probably choose to do that for the rest of my life.
I have never felt more emotionally independent in my life than I do right now. I've learnt how to spend a lot of time by myself without it bothering me. I can indeed enjoy being by myself a lot of the time. Still, the depth and of my relationships seem to be reason why I feel well by myself. Relationships end though. People move. I plan on emigrating even. I don't have a clear idea of want I want to do for a living...but I'm pretty sure, the people that surround me will make or break my future in a sense.
As I get older, it gets a lot harder to meet new people and form new connections. I can only imagine it will get even harder in the future (I mean I'm only 24). I'm on the verge of losing everyone I've ever met, since I plan on moving to another country in the next couple of years. If I do go back to college I'll be in class with a bunch of 18 year olds. Fitting in, will be even harder. I've recently noticed how stressful this is for me.....not because of the people I'll leave behind, but because of fear of not ever feeling home anywhere again. And as we all know....home is where the heart is. Without new connections, without a solid and dynamic support group....I can't imagine sustaining the levels of contentment in my life I hunger for.
So how has life been treating you, in this regard? How has life changed for you over the years in terms of relationships? How many people can you truly count on? How understood do you feel? Is your life still exciting in the social department? Have any particular insights or advice to share with me about it?
0
Comments
Sorry, Epicurus, didn't mean to give you a hard time. First, let go of the fear, and just be open to people, be open to friendship, be friendly and outgoing wherever you are. Where are you planning to move? My experience is that most places are easier to make friends than in the US. (Where do you live now, anyway?)
They say that all you really need is one or two truly close friends, with whom you can share anything and everything. I have one really close friend that I can talk to about absolutely anything, whom I can call on at any time for help of any kind, and whom I've bent over backwards to help when that was needed. That's a precious thing. Since you've been in college (right?) where you've been surrounded by lots of people your age, I can see how striking out into the world on your own, into the unknown,without a large peer-group, could be intimidating. Don't let it be: look at it as an adventure! And be open to friendships with people of all ages; I've always had friends with people who were younger than me, and also much older than me. This is what enriches us--diversity of all kinds, including age. If you focus on connecting with your age peers, you may overlook some real gems, people who might have fascinating lives, or who might turn out to be really loyal, reliable friends. And life doesn't have to always be "exciting in the social department". Life has so much to offer, don't focus on the "social department". Let go of expectations and enjoy--you're moving to another country. Aren't you excited? Think of all the new things you'll be learning, the new people you'll be meeting, the new country you'll be seeing. Appreciate how fortunate you are to be able to do that. Count your blessings in general; you have much to be thankful for. Focus on that, instead of on fear. Best wishes, and let us know how you do.
Funny how buddhism and my spiritual journey in general, has in a way bettered me as a person, and at the same time robbed me of the pleasure of the more superficial kind of social interaction (which I never really cared for anyways....I always strive to go as deep as possible with my relationships...and if there is no perceived (on my part) depth to that person in terms of world view and values I actually get bored; always nice, but the interaction just doesn't satisfy me for long). The deeper I go inside myself, the more I feel different from everyone else and isolated.
I have no idea of what my career goals are at all...and that is also severely affecting my decisions of where to go since I just don't know what I should pursue in life any more. I've thought of humanitarian look and the like.......and it's not really an age thing....but I do feel the need to have people whom I can call intellectual peers and I do need to have a base of operations where to call home and not be constantly on the move.
My mind is still not prepared for no attachments of any kind. But then again, I don't even tend to be clingy with people at all. I just want to feel like I haven't reached the peek of my socialization, because quite frankly I spent most of college years in a depression. It took my a while to get out of that emotional rut. So I'm pretty much prepared to make up for the childhood and teenage years and young adulthood years I never really felt part of something bigger. It's in that sense that a support group is important for me.