How do I deal with laziness?

ravkes

I feel like my biggest vice is laziness which leads me to general apathy/depression/gambling.

This habit I chose to cultivate almost 4 years ago has led me down a disastrous path, but I'm happy I've realized it at a young age (21) so I can make some changes before it fully takes control of me. I was a very smart student in high school and then laziness hit. I was fortunate to get into a good college but I stopped caring about schoolwork when I started, I stopped studying and consequently I became comfortable with making stupid decisions. Because of my laziness I wasn't interested in learning some skills that would be valuable in the job market and now I'm a college senior with a 1.93 GPA (I had a 3.5 GPA in high school) with minimal prospects. Unfortunately, gambling was an offshoot of my laziness since I wanted money I didn't have to work for. I had to lose over $4,000 to realize that money doesn't come easy.

Currently, I have an exam this Wednesday and I want to do well on it. However, whenever I approach studying I have lingering thoughts: "I don't need to study, even if I study I won't do well because I'm not smart, studying and work is boring, I hate work, I hate studying, I'd rather play poker" .. on and on

So here I am, taking small steps towards digging myself out of a hole of now what I can see are the beginning stages of apathy, depression and a dangerous gambling habit.

Any advice would be appreciated on dealing with the root cause that I can identify as laziness. Thank you!

Dakini

ravkes, you say "laziness hit", when you got into college. Are you sure there might not be some sort of hormonal or medical component, if your habits radically changed in the late teens? This may sound far-fetched, but radical personality changes, including mental illness (I don't mean you, with the latter) DO happen at that age, not infrequently, due to the changes the bodymind is going through. You may have some low-grade depression. Do you exercise? Regular exercise (forcing yourself, if you have to) can help a bit.

Currently, I have an exam this Wednesday and I want to do well on it. However, whenever I approach studying I have lingering thoughts: "I don't need to study, even if I study I won't do well because I'm not smart,

OK, notice what you're saying to yourself: "I won't do well because I'm not smart". You know that statement isn't true--you're lying to yourself--because you did well in highschool. Some of this is a habit of inner dialogue you've developed, and habits can be changed through mindfulness. When you notice that negative chatter, stop yourself, and change the tape. But you have to have the will and the discipline to practice the mindfulness.

Gambling is an addicting behavior, and possibly an indication of a tendency toward obsessive-compulsive behavior. There are certain things I avoid, because I know I have a mild tendency toward obsessive-compulsive behavior. Not uncommon. Neither is depression at your age (or any age, but especially at your age). Check it out. While you're still enrolled (if you don't drop out) you have the biggest luxury of all: free medical and psychiatric care. Stop by the campus medical facility and ask for testing. They can run a blood test for hormonal imbalance or other possible medical causes for the "laziness". Good luck, keep us posted. Just force yourself to do stuff, like study. If you drop out, you're sunk.

Jeffrey

What dakini said sounds good. I would add to stay in the present moment. You think "I am no good student I should be playing poker" Then you even feel a reaction in your body. See through the thought as thinking or at least watch it in the present and watch it go.

Go to the test and do the best you can. Get your grade thats your karma. If you deal with the present and keep reaching out and getting support and ideas. I think whatever your GPA you will be ok. Drop the semester if you have to and repeat if your GPA so low that you can't graduate. There must be some way?? Anyhow I hope you can get your degree. Do your best one day at a time. By having trust you can feel freedom and relief which helps you be your best. By knowing that you will have your tiime of understanding you will see your every effort is worthwhile. It all means something but at the same time we are free.

taiyaki

You know what you need to do. Just do it. Cut the crap and just do what you need to do. You know what you need to do.
Either you do it or you don't. You are always making a decision, even if it is no decision. Deal with the consequences. Just do it. Don't think about it. Just do it. Don't complain about it. Just do it.

It is tough love but the best advice I can give you. But you see laziness isn't necessarily bad. It's society that enforces that structure on top of you. You have to do well. You have to succeed. My question to that is. To what end? What is the point?

The root cause isn't laziness. You want some sense of happiness. All cravings for something are the craving to end craving itself. So what you're really looking for is contentment. You may turn that energy and project it on "being successful", making money, having a relationship, being famous, etc. But what you really want is freedom from all desires. So that's why you're interested in Buddhism. Buddhism asserts that there is a way out of this insane craving we as humans have. Detach from craving and you're free. You're content. You cannot be content tomorrow or yesterday. You cannot seek contentment. Contentment exists right here right now when you set everything down and leave everything as it is.

So when you keep seeking things like success. You will never be satisfied. You will keep searching. Because what you and all of us really want is contentment.

I understand that I am giving you two contradictory messages. But in the end you'll do what you need to do.
A friend told me once that money doesn't bring you happiness. I said said to him that maybe you're right but I will try.

Through samsara we come to nirvana.

Best of luck!

GuyC

Hi Ravkes,

I could tell you how to deal with laziness, but I can't be bothered...nah, just kidding, I can't tell you because I am still working on that one myself. I think it is normal for folks in their early 20's.

One thing I am coming to believe is that part of it may stem from a lack of a sense of direction in life. People who know what they want to do and have a plan of how to get there are generally less likely to be lazy than those with no idea.

In any case, you're not alone, you're not weird for being lazy, pretty normal I think.

Metta,

Guy

fivebells

I doubt that laziness is actually the prime cause. What happens when you manage to cut through the laziness and actually pursue one of your goals? Anger? Anxiety? Whatever you experience there is probably what the laziness is helping you to avoid, and is what you need to learn to cope with.

Cinorjer

First off, stop calling it laziness. It's called being normal. People have this myth that there is this inner virtue that people should cultivate so they work and slave away at their jobs and if you don't, then you've got a big character flaw. We used to call it "sloth" and ranked it with the deadly sins.

Total nonsense. There is no such thing as self-control, only sufficient motivation. It's how our minds work. You and half the students in school struggle with your grades because of normal stress avoidance behavior. Every single one of us has to have a motivation to do anything. If it makes us happy or gives pleasure, that's a huge motivation. For some people, satisfaction in reaching a goal helps, but that's highly individualistic. For others, threats are needed. So, you need to find out what it takes to motivate you to reach some realistic goal, and then deliberately use that.

Quite often, the motivation is group pressure. That's how AA works, you know. People are highly motivated by wanting the approval of a small group they hang out with. So begin by going to whatever teacher, councilor, or help the school offers, and finding out about study groups. Even one person to help and give disapproval when you don't do the work or put in the effort is all it takes.

Hope this helps.

Epicurus

I definately agree with most of what Cinorjer said. For years I saw myself as just too lazy. I realize now it's not that I'm lazy, it's just that success doesn't motivate me in the slightest. In a sense I think "becoming" just doesn't appeal to me. Doing something I like to do though, does. And thus we arrive at the source of so-called laziness - lack of pure motivation. Not the one caused my peer pressure or advertising or society...but actual motivation to do something...

That's the stage I'm in. But I've proved to myself that lazy....is not it. I can work just as well as anyone else. The difference is I like to know why I'm working. That I'm working for something that matters to me.

Mountains

What Cinorjer said... x2

ravkes

Thanks for all the advice guys. It really is a lack of motivation, this generally comes from having all my basic needs provided for my by my family. Because I've been this fortunate I've been able to neglect work and not worry about it. However, I'm a college senior now and my parents are in a bit of financial trouble so I can't always rely on them.

Life isn't too bad, i'm fairly content. I can handle my few classes and work. I can enjoy life, so its ok. Life is a pretty mysterious place so even amidst the drudgery which leads me down to apathy I have to remind myself of the wonder. Of how rare life actually is and how random. Im going to study with a friend tonight, let's see how i do on this test

Thanks again. Life = work a lot of the time, but it isnt too bad I just have to remind myself that, I create a lot of this stuff for myself uneccesarily. In reality if i dont study for a test ill do badly, if i dont do work i wont get paid. life is pretty straightforward, for me it's just helping me realize that being ignorant is no longer an option ay

ravkes

I doubt that laziness is actually the prime cause. What happens when you manage to cut through the laziness and actually pursue one of your goals? Anger? Anxiety? Whatever you experience there is probably what the laziness is helping you to avoid, and is what you need to learn to cope with.

Pretty much got it right. It's a combination of discomfort, unstable emotions and fear of failing. Mindfulness helps in this regard, if I can just see the work as work it's all good. It's funny how we take so much effort to not see clearly and then complain about it like I did here lol, sorry..

We twist and turn the world into what we want it to be instead of seeing it how it is. Like I want to never work, I want to be really good at poker and gambling, I want to not do schoolwork and when that just isnt the case I suffer and get confused about it and ask for help lol when its so clear..

You need certain things to live, studying leads to a better job and a better life because you learn. Gambling is made for you to lose essentially and im not good at it. Schoolwork and Work is just what it is, it's time to let go of my ignorance in this regard and my bad habits..

When its all seen as it is, somehow motivation comes because you get excited about the opportunities, challenges and adventures.. It's all so mysterious again.. Sorry for the ranting haha. but pure life and pure living , just doing it is where its at


Time for me to stop jibber jabbering and JUST LIVE! lets go! hahaha

Wednesday

Dont go down the gambling road again. Maybe youll have to learn that the hard way again.

GuyC

Hi Ravkes,

Here's what the Buddha said about gambling:

...

(3) "What are the six channels for dissipating wealth which he does not pursue?

(a) "indulgence in intoxicants which cause infatuation and heedlessness;
(b) sauntering in streets at unseemly hours;
(c) frequenting theatrical shows;
(d) indulgence in gambling which causes heedlessness;
(e) association with evil companions;
(f) the habit of idleness.

...

(d) "There are, young householder, these six evil consequences in indulging in gambling:


(i) the winner begets hate,
(ii) the loser grieves for lost wealth,
(iii) loss of wealth,
(iv) his word is not relied upon in a court of law,
(v) he is despised by his friends and associates,
(vi) he is not sought after for matrimony; for people would say he is a gambler and is not fit to look after a wife.

"Sigalovada Sutta: The Discourse to Sigala" (DN 31), translated from the Pali by Narada Thera. Access to Insight, 8 June 2010, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.31.0.nara.html

Aside from going to court, all of these consequences have occured to me as a result of gambling. Also I have tried and tested the other five channels for dissipating wealth, and, the Buddha was right again (what a suprise!). I recommend that you study the Sigalovada Sutta, there are so many practical nuggets of wisdom in there.

Even if you were a winning gambler and that was your profession, do you think this is "Right Livelihood"?

This is something I have asked after wasting precious time and money gambling. The winners at poker often make quite a few enemies, even if unintentionally, just because that is the nature of the game.

If we are contributing to the increase of unwholesome mental states in others (e.g. hatred) as well as unwholesome mental states in ourself (e.g. greed) then are we on the Noble Eightfold Path at that point in time?

Metta,

Guy

compassionate_warrior

Pretty much got it right. It's(...) fear of failing.

Fear of failing: it'll get you. But why fear of failing, if you did well in high school? Might it be fear of success? And all the trappings of success, the pressure to continue succeeding? Just a thought.

Dakini

Lack of motivation still doesn't explain why you were able to motivate yourself in High School, but not now. I don't get that. Maybe because of the relative lack of structure in college, where you don't have teachers breathing down your neck, pushing you to study? I don't know, there seems to be something else behind this "lack of motivation" or whatever. maybe like CW says, fear of success? Or maybe you're just not good at self-motivating? Oh well--the ball's in your court now, you have our input.

Jeffrey

Dakini,

I worked really hard in undergraduate, but I had this idea that I could just coast once I had my degree. Then I performed poorly after that point and it was really stressful. Not that ravkes is experiencing the same thing..

fivebells

Pretty much got it right. It's a combination of discomfort, unstable emotions and fear of failing. Mindfulness helps in this regard, if I can just see the work as work it's all good. It's funny how we take so much effort to not see clearly and then complain about it like I did here lol, sorry.

Tried metta meditation?