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Helping Hand?
Hello all.
I have had two very traumatic years. I have suffered in a abusive relationship which resulted in rape.
I then found new love only to find that I have some very dark parts of my being and they trashed my partner. Our relationship consequentally is now over.
I have just returned from travelling Australia. I thought the new place and new people would bring with it a new me and a little bit of peace and clarity. It didnt.
I want some substance. I want to be the best person I can be. I want to be free from my demons and smile again. I have always been curious about Buddhism and have read a few books. I am certain Buddhism is something I feel would bring me great joy and peace. How can I make this a part of my life? Almost join?
Sian (uk)
I have had two very traumatic years. I have suffered in a abusive relationship which resulted in rape.
I then found new love only to find that I have some very dark parts of my being and they trashed my partner. Our relationship consequentally is now over.
I have just returned from travelling Australia. I thought the new place and new people would bring with it a new me and a little bit of peace and clarity. It didnt.
I want some substance. I want to be the best person I can be. I want to be free from my demons and smile again. I have always been curious about Buddhism and have read a few books. I am certain Buddhism is something I feel would bring me great joy and peace. How can I make this a part of my life? Almost join?
Sian (uk)
0
Comments
The way to make Buddhism a part of your life is to do exactly what you're doing now... join in, chat, read all you can and exchange... ultimately, there are no quick fixes, no immediate 'cures' and no miracle transformations.... just one step at a time, absorb, listen and engage...
Nice to have you with us....:)
Well, that's not what I would call "Right speech"......that was uncalled for and cruel!
My heart goes out to you. It is so hard to escape from the cycle and habits of our lives, even when they threaten our very survival.
The best that I have ever found as a way out is to be able to share at least some of the dark part of myself with another person or a supportive group. Have you any such groups near you?
Admittedly, it is quite a terrifying thing to begin sharing our secret, grubby aspects - and don't even try doing it all at once!!! All I can say is that fellowship and a good relationship are among the most healing conditions for the sort of pain you describe.
My thoughts are with you.
hope i made 'right speech in right english' now:),thank you
Is "shrink" politically incorrect now?
-bf
My heat goes out to you. I too have come to Buddhism to try to help me end the emotional suffering I've experienced, which has also been a relationship-wrecker for me. I am hoping to learn to treat myself and those around me with the loving-kindness we all deserve. The best thing I can say is please be kind to yourself. That is more important when you are healing than any other time--and it's pretty important the other times too!
--Pandora
abe,
no need for apology,on the contrary i must thank you for informing me that the word 'shrink' considered impolite in british english.
but plz allow me saying this 'shrink,shrink,shrink'. i love to speak dirty english words(blame it on the movies, and the tv series):)
However, I feel maybe, me being so forth-coming, spilling my past etc has thrown a few readers.
I speak as I do because what happened to me has been accepted and so can be spoken about openly. I have been broken by my past and my 'darker sides' are merely resentful parts that are angry because they dont understand.
I am still searching for my path. Thank you for the usefull supportive comments.
Im sorry if this sounds a little reactionary - but I have been looking for somewhere that I could have good conversation about Buddhism and all that it can bring to my life. My hopes I guess were high. Obviously that is not aimed at all of you. Only to those that feel they can throw thoughtless comments at a very sensitive area.
Sian
Welcome. In my own practice, I find that meditation really helps to calm my mind andbring aout peace in my day to day living. LOL It also helps me to cool my sharp tongue.
Sian, suffering sister,
When my path is at its darkest and the trees press in all round, I find that the words of one of my teachers, Virginia Satir, come back to me: "Your breath is your strength".
Mindful breathing may only light up the ground around my feet but it is enough to find the courage to carry on - and that is all. If my little light meets another little light, together we illuminate a small way ahead and the next step become possible.
The light only seems to flicker out when I become my own judge and critic.
Sian, I can't even begin to know what you've been through but please don't give up on this forum yet. You can get a lot of very useful advice and insights from the members here.
Speaking for myself, I came to Buddhism as it seemed to answer all the things I'd been searching for over the years. I read my way through a whole mountain of books but the most valuable thing I did was to pluck up the courage and actually visit a temple to get meditation instruction. Since then I've done a day retreat at the temple and a 3 day retreat at their Abbey in Northumberland. I've also joined a relatively local weekly meditation group affiliated with the temple.
What I'm trying to say is that yes, you can learn a lot from reading but the support I got from actually meeting a priest and offline Sangha members has been great. It'll also give you someone to talk to who can help put everything into perspective for you.
Take care and good luck,
Adrian
i'm terribly sorry for my thoughtless comment,i think i should practise my right speech practice more.please just consider my comment as a test in your dharma practice.