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Discrimination.

XraymanXrayman Veteran
edited February 2006 in Buddhism Today
Hello all.

I used to work for a Dutch electronics company that shall remain nameless.

We all had access to the Internet for "company-Purposes only" except for the good-for-nothing PA who had access for real company-specific reasons, like Footy Tipping competitions, Team Ladder, Football stats etc. all sanctioned by the "Manager" (and when I say Manager, I use the term loosely).

i used to have my "home-Page, start-up page" as Buddhanet.net (didn't know abot NewBuddhist then.)
One morning I get a blank screen with something like "access denied by filter", or fascists, or something-can't remember. I was really confused.:scratch:

I contacted the "NO-HELP desk" to ask if they could "fix" my computer/connection as this was not working right. I was told by the operator that his comp as well as mine were not "connecting" either, he said ill ring you back with the remedy. days went by. I rang the desk again only to be told in a rather terse way, that it was a filter applied to the network done in Holland, and that it was all too bad you are not entitled to have access to "that information"
:banghead:
I started to write a rather long and might I say, TERSE e-mail back to my immediate boss about the situation, cc'd the Australian Manager of the company, cc'd the HR manager and cc'd the IT people. Asking why it was considered "not Kosher" and I happened to mention that all of this was a bit "rich" considering Holland's lax attitude to Prostitution, Marijuana usage, their laws on euthanasia etc. etc. all of a sudden it appeared that the company had a corporate takeover by the Stormtroopers from Germany in the 1940's.
I also mentioned why the allowable Footy-Tipping is considered a strickly a company-business-application use of the Internet.

I mentioned that because the "company" believed in Freedom from Discrimination/equal opportunity employment, that freedom of religion is also considered part of equal opportunity.

Needless to say, all of this did not go down well.:hair:

I was told that Sex, Porn, Religion and gambling/gaming were filtered out of the network.

No I did not get the sack. (at least not because of this time-anyway) however it did Force HR to reexamine exactly what Discrimination actually is-for THEM. hahahaha

(Yes i did love this particular shit-stir)

Anyone had a similar situation? and would you consider that this is a from of discrimination, or a company's right to do so considering it is their connection and they'll do with it as they please-so there!

REGARDS!
Xray

Comments

  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    I've already told my story in your previous thread.

    I've also made a number of statements about inequality against men that, I feel is becoming, very fashionable. I know I've shared some information with the likes of Brigid where we haven't seen eye to eye on various equality issues.

    But now, I have another story to tell.

    I have worked for a number of women that have been my bosses and mentors. In fact, I've worked for more women than men. The women I've worked for or with have helped me with my career, been honest - better than a couple of the men I can think of that I've worked for.

    One of the last companies I worked for there was a woman that worked there in Sales. A very funny, smart and friendly woman. She also worked very hard and was much more knowledable in our product than most of the men. Unfortunately and incredulous.... I saw man after man promoted over her - I HAD SEEN THIS GLASS CEILING and it sucked!

    I remember talking with her countless times about this (did I mention she had huge boobs?) anyway - we'd yack about stuff and I had no idea what to tell her to do. She couldn't quit her job - her hubby didn't make that much money - so they both had to work. In fact, I think she was the real bread-winner in the household and she had huge knockers!

    Anyway, there was a big lay-off - she and I were one of the few workers they decided to keep on. I remember the look on a couple of the salesmens faces when they started talking about having a lay-off and how we had to become a lean company... Those fools were all nodding their heads like "Yes, we have to do this" not realizing their incompetancy and lazy behavior had put their heads on the chopping block. When... let's call her Sally. Not Sally with the fabulous funbags... just Sally... Well, when the powers that be said that Sally was going to be the salesperson kept on - these other guys jaws just hit the floor. It was actually kind of funny. Very funny now that I think about it.

    Anyway, Sally moved onto another start up company, got in at the ground floor. Eventually became Vice-President of IP (I don't know if that's Internet Protocol or Intellectual Property) but eventually the company did so well, it was bought out.

    And since they didn't need her anymore, she got bought out.

    For a huge chunk of change.

    So huge, in fact, that now she just travels around the world with her dad, her hubby and her boobies.

    We talk on the phone every once in awhile and catch up. I'm always very happy to hear from her and I'm always very happy listening to the stories she tells of where she's benn and how, for once, something seemed to work out that was fair.

    -bf
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    I see. Sometimes things do work out-but it can take ages!

    You actually prompted me to ask you/anyone reading this, How we would feel knowing that behind our backs (hypothetically speaking-of course) if a workmate, woman or a man, was to refer to any of us as "the guy with the tiny package"??

    MMM food for thought. (vegetarian of course-no meat.. teehee)

    regards
    X
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Actually, it was meant kind of tongue in cheek. That I'm talking about something fair that happened to a woman - but still talking about her ta-ta's.

    Actually, I worked with a group of women at one time that, for my birthday, bought me a whole bunch of rolled up socks. Socks that I was supposed to put in my pants. Socks I was supposed to put in my pants because I guess I wasn't packing enough. I was shocked...

    Not shocked as bad as the corporate secretary who, when I was delivering the mail up on the Executive floor, used to say to me in a crowded room, "Mmm, mmm, mmm... whos little boy are you!" And the times she would chase me down to ride in the elevator with me and my little mail cart making lude and suggestive suggestions to my blushing and profusely sweating face.

    I still blush thinking about some of the things she said she wanted to do to me. I didn't know some of those things were possible to do while standing in an elevator at my tender young age. And I'm old and crotchety now!

    -bf
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Some of us would refer to the corporate secretary's behaviour as sexual harrassment. Perhaps to even-the-score, you should have reported her repulsive behaviour? Question is. would it have been taken seriously because you're a man?
    mmmm just a question..

    regards,
    Richard.
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Xrayman wrote:
    Some of us would refer to the corporate secretary's behaviour as sexual harrassment. Perhaps to even-the-score, you should have reported her repulsive behaviour? Question is. would it have been taken seriously because you're a man?
    mmmm just a question..

    regards,
    Richard.

    I definitely would have called it sexual harassment. But this was at a time before "sexual harassment" became "vogue".

    I doubt it I would have reported it - and possibly like many women - I would have been embarassed to repeat it and have to face this person regarding the charges.

    But, on the flip side, I knew I could have taken her scrawny butt at any time - so I never had to worry about the physical violence side of these situations that women have to face.

    -bf
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Yo BF!

    Point #1. Agreed.

    Point #2. Agreed. And I'm afraid to say that it is very true with-respect -to-violence clause you wrote about. Sometimes I'm ashamed of the male gender in circumstances such as these. Refer to "Manhood" thread I started...

    regards,
    X
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    I hear you.

    I've been in physical confrontations that were very, very spooky. I can't imagine being in a physical confrontation that was also a sexual confrontation. I'm ashamed of men in these instances too - but I've been assaulted worse by women than I ever have been by men. So, I'm ashamed of all people that force themselves physically upon others.

    Some people never get over it and have to live with something that was thrust upon them that they had no choice about.

    -bf
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    As a side note - and to keep this Buddhist - it just goes to show what long term effects "sexual misconduct" or misconduct of any kind can have on a person.

    -bf
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    I understand you oh so well!

    Some of us find it hard to discuss "things" that have happened to us; even over the Internet-anonomously...

    Suffice to say that some attacks on boys/men are physical then sexual (but again, the stats for this are almost non-existent due to the, "Maybe I'm wierd sexually" stigma that victims feel-and I believe that this is perhaps one major difference in the sexes-the mindset after a sexual attack-only my musings, remember I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE!).

    Not sure if it's obvious what I'm discussing-but yes Sexual-misconduct mmm very much so.

    Regards,
    X
  • edited February 2006
    Xrayman wrote:
    I see. Sometimes things do work out-but it can take ages!

    You actually prompted me to ask you/anyone reading this, How we would feel knowing that behind our backs (hypothetically speaking-of course) if a workmate, woman or a man, was to refer to any of us as "the guy with the tiny package"??

    MMM food for thought. (vegetarian of course-no meat.. teehee)

    regards
    X


    I think it's only fair that we refer to men too by their acoutrements.
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Good idea ZM.

    but I'm not going to offer up any of my flaws for discussion.

    I'm sick and tired of staring at the ceiling,
    While you point out my flaws,
    I watch the wallpaper peeling from slamming doors.

    Man Overboard
    Do Re Mi

    regards.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2006
    As far as I am concerned, certainly in the UK, everything has become so PC people are scared to breathe in case it should offend the Asthma Lobby....

    And as I too pointed out, because Rôles have become so blurred and clouded, instances of sexual discrimination, and prejudice have rocketted... But at the same time, people are scared witless of taking action because of the negative possible consequences, the backlash, the risks...
    Women act more like men (or how they perceive men act ) in order to succeed. So they often transform into hardline Bitches with an over-active sexual prowess...
    Men, thoroughly confused by all this, either attempt to play down their macho role, and become more gentle, more sympathetic, (wusses) thus risking getting trampled by aforementioned women,

    OR -

    They turn up the testosterone and become power-hungry bullies...

    We can moan and complain, and tell it like we think it is, in neat little 'post-it' packages....


    But how do we deal with it?
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    I think we may be speeding up evolution in a way here.

    I was watching a show on the Discovery Channel last night about sex and the sexes. It was interesting to note how about 4 million years ago - we started walking upright and ~that~ changed many, many things about how men and women interacted. How men, losing the sight of a female bent over, showing her sexual organs, transmuted into other parts of the body now being "enhanced" to make up for the loss of organ visibility because of an upright posture.
    How the traits that men and women find attractive in each other have been finely honed over the millinea just by the process of natural selection. How the brain plays a part in what we do and how we act. How ~love~ cause our brain to react. How, unknowingly, men and women are in a state of arousal - it's just when we let the brain loose to act in a sexual manner. I don't know how they find these things out - but I guess they do.

    I wonder if during the Industrial Revolution and the Sexual Revolution - if we aren't speeding up changes, that used to take thousands of years to do - in the matter of a few short decades. It may not be a true physical change - but maybe now we're dealing with evolution on a mental level.

    Roles have changed so much over the years that I think it's still going to be years before we, once again, find roles that are once again "natural".

    -bf
  • edited February 2006
    buddhafoot wrote:

    Not shocked as bad as the corporate secretary who, when I was delivering the mail up on the Executive floor, used to say to me in a crowded room, "Mmm, mmm, mmm... whos little boy are you!" And the times she would chase me down to ride in the elevator with me and my little mail cart making lude and suggestive suggestions to my blushing and profusely sweating face.

    I still blush thinking about some of the things she said she wanted to do to me. I didn't know some of those things were possible to do while standing in an elevator at my tender young age. And I'm old and crotchety now!

    -bf

    Lucky you. Wish someone would show that much interest in me .. :(
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    hope wrote:
    Lucky you. Wish someone would show that much interest in me .. :(

    Hope,

    That's one of the issues that I think really is at the heart of the matter.

    There are those of us, who at a certain point in time, might relish someone showing this kind of attraction or desire towards us. But, at other points in time - it's not something we are comfortable with.

    But, with society now (as Fede has so eloquently put it) - nobody knows what to do anymore!

    I know I've been questioned by women that I've dated about why I don't "make a move". They've gotten upset with me because I haven't forced myself upon them - and that's what it seems like men have been reduced to. It's not "interacting" with a female - it's "forcing" ourselves upon them - which isn't true.
    With women like this that I've dated, I've usually let them make "the first move". I may be seen as "mamby-pamby" or not being a "take charge kind of guy" - but I just refuse to be in a situation where my advances are not wanted. I've heard so many comments from women about guys who just can't get a clue - and I don't want to be one of dem guys.

    But, once they make the first move - I see it as their acceptance in desire to participate - and then I'm okay.

    Society, lawsuits, greed, lack of compassion, misunderstanding - so many things have clouded what temperment or common sense should be teachings us.

    And I say this from a totally non-Buddhist view.

    I know that truly there is probably no such thing as temperment or common sense or whatever - but I'm not speaking from the Dharma at this point. Just basic interaction between two people.

    And.... I hope that someone shows you what you wish for :)

    -bf
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Once again good fodder for consideration (fodder-look it up federica tee hee).

    I am on the verge of some weird understanding. For years I've had this crazy notion that my wife was accepting of certain "things" in our life, this is not the true situation. As men we do sh** to somehow impress our women-when we actually may be turning them off.

    Years ago it seemed that certain behaviours were acceptable behaviours-now you're either a wuss, a deviant, or a loser if you make some move on a woman/your wife. Conversely, I've been accused of being to laid back-too submissive at other times, it's really ridiculous. Perhaps I'm trying to divert the real issue, because I feel quite often that really it's just a fear of rejection-on my behalf.

    Isn't it amazing how far I really am from buddha nature? phew! there I said it. I admit it. I can't even see it from here.

    Look I know about the middle path etc. and etc. but it would be good if we could really cut-the-crap and pick up the right messages from women and men. and just GET IT RIGHT!

    wouldn't it be good if we could read Hope's mind-and give her the attention she desires, wouldn't it be good if that lady could read your mind and back-off BF?!

    Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes, even if it was for just one day..

    Howard Jones

    (I think, hope it wasn't Limahl-haha)

    teehee.

    regards,
    Richard.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2006
    Howard Jones had a point. As did Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon and Dustin Hoffman. And of Course, any man would love to have been in Mel Gibson's shoes when he finally got to find out 'What Women Want'.....

    Is it really so complicated? Is it really too difficult for us to get our advanced brains around? Are we so dense that we just don't get it?

    I remember reading a quotation that said:
    "All anyone ever really wants, is to be Understood, Appreciated and Loved."

    So I think the major and most wondeful courtesy we could pay anyone, is to
    LISTEN to them when they need to express themselves (Right Speech - which includes, according to TNH, 'Right Listening')

    To notice their uniqueness and TELL them how special they are to us, and to

    LOVE them. Unconditionally. No strings attached, for us to yank....

    What do we do that Nourishes, nurtures and helps our partner to grow?

    Let's begin in the home, and work our way slowly outwards......

    If we want to change the world, it's best to start with a little garden.....
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