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But if I had a new mustang, my own apartment and perfect teeth (I'm working on all that) then I bet I'd make a baby within 3 months.
wtf?! This is your goal? Care to explain that?
I'm not going to have kids anytime soon if that's what scared you lol. It was just something I added. Being able to have a close girlfriend or getting laid without paying for it is my goal really. There is nothing I enjoy more than getting laid, so that's what I need and I build myself towards that anyway possible.
They have new baby seats that flip upside down in a ball and are super safe even in a mustang. Have you ever seen those bowls that you can put cereal in and the toddlers can't spill the cereal on the floor? Well that's how the baby seats are that you need for mustangs lol!
I'm not worried about having a kid though. Just might need to get laid soon, or I might start considering those escorts.
I'm a Taurus by the way. But I'm also a Fire Tiger. That should explain a bit.
Whatever happened to some imagination and some Nivea hand lotion? If you really want a girlfriend you shouldn't underestimate the attraction to soft hands. :orange:
You can only be without love so long before you start to consider alternate ways to break the cycle of loneliness Malachy. I've been without it for a year now. So I may have to stop my hesitation soon and just dive into those desperate waters of escorts and casual encounters.
lol at the pun. I appreciate it, I'll see. I just like to be a man of action now days. If I can do something relevant to improve my situation I try to do it and just see what happens.
"We all depend on one another for all kinds of things, don't we? We depend on the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. Interdependence. That's fine! We set up society this way and we allot different functions to different people for the welfare of everyone, so that we will function better and live more effectively -- at least we hope so. But to depend on another psychologically -- to depend on another emotionally -- what does that imply? It means to depend on another human being for my happiness.
Think about that. Because if you do, the next thing you will be doing, whether you're aware of it or not, is DEMANDING that other people contribute to your happiness. Then there will be a next step -- fear, fear of loss, fear of alienation, fear of rejection, mutual control. Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you. If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling.
I enjoy it on a non-clinging basis. What I really enjoy is not you; it's something that's greater than both you and me. It is something that I discovered, a kind of symphony, a kind of orchestra that plays one melody in your presence, but when you depart, the orchestra doesn't stop. When I meet someone else, it plays another melody, which is also very delightful. And when I'm alone, it continues to play. There's a great repertoire and it never ceases to play."
Guys are so easy Malachy. There is no reason for those girls who are struggling to struggle. I can help any woman get a man easily. I can't say the same about getting a woman. They seem so complicated. But if I had a new mustang, my own apartment and perfect teeth (I'm working on all that) then I bet I'd make a baby within 3 months. I appreciate the tips though. I wish I could say that the right personality alone and decent looks is enough, but maybe in my city it isn't.
You seem to know boys, not men. Most women I know are looking for different qualaties. Perhaps you're attracted to the wrong city?
Mustangs fall apart, teeth rot, apartments burn... cultivation of patience, good listening skills, empathy, sense of humor, sense of social responsibility, purpose are more important to most women than superficial materials. Unless you're looking to get laid a couple times, then get the mustang and some condoms.
If you like to argue, its not confusing that you'd be alone. War is isolating.
I don't like to argue for the sake of conflict aMatt. I know all about war and how it isolates you. I don't mind it just because it's a tool to brush up on my conversation skills as I rarely seem to get conversation in real life. So I enjoy conversation in any medium even if it may seem like arguing. I argue just towards seeking the truth or possibly just learning something new. Very rarely with anger just with observation. I may be in the wrong city too, but I don't have it all together yet to just decide and leave on my own.
I want to say you're right, but I believe in my city you're wrong. L.A. seems to be a very superficial city. The more I plump my wallet, the better I look without a shirt, and the more I pimp my ride is what will get me women around here. Women here don't want a nice guy who will make them laugh, listen to them, and care about them if that guy is broke. They want a guy who has it all together and that will take care of them, even if they're a jerk they care more about money.
I hate to say it like that, but that's my reality with the women around here. And if I say that to any men I know personally who lived in L.A. many years they will agree with me. Personality won't get me anywhere with these women till I have enough money to take care of them. All the girlfriends I've ever had have been from places that weren't L.A.. They were all semi-long distance, I traveled 40+ min one way just to be with them. But they got along with me far better than my results with these local women. With the women I meet from L.A. they just seem cold as ice, and superficial as Hollywood divas.
If I end up being wrong, then good. But usually I am right in my observations.
I don't mind it just because it's a tool to brush up on my conversation skills as I rarely seem to get conversation in real life.
I wonder if you remain mindful of what the other person is looking for? Seeing?
I argue just towards seeking the truth or possibly just learning something new. ... But usually I am right in my observations.
It sounds like you are saying:
"I use every conversion to hone my kung fu." "My kung fu is awesome" and "People don't like to talk to me" ...and I wonder if you're missing the cause/effect. Maybe its not your car or your teeth. Most people like to talk to increase intimacy and connectedness, not "hone truth." At the very least a balance, with most of the time on the first, not the second. And people, especially adults, don't enjoy being told they're wrong. You have to choose your battles very, very artfully in that regard.
Then again, maybe I am ignorant to the unique atmosphere of your environment and should just wish you luck with your well honed sword, your car and your teeth.
i think a key difference of the two is that loneliness is regarded as negative and solitude (at least in buddhism)is regarded as positive. but while some solitude may be a good thing,it can make buddhism an escape from people and the outside world.buddha didn't want us to escape, but to awaken.
The monastic system isn't an escape from people and the outside world? o.0
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
No. It's a devotion to practice. Monks don't just sit around all day meditating and studying. many interact with the community and teach the Dhamma. some are able to enter a monastery and then leave if they wish to return to a layperson's existence.
That's true in Asian monasticism. In some Christian monastic traditions, the whole point is to keep people cloistered, away from the community.
Even in Buddhism, only the lamas teach the Dharma in the community. 90% of the monks in TB monasteries have no understanding of all the texts they've spent years memorizing. They work in the monasteries to serve the lamas and keep the monastery running. Most monks aren't educated to to teach the Dharma.
Even when out in the community, Buddhism urges monks to be solitary. (see the Rhinoceros Suttra) Personally, I think solitude is a good thing. It develops independence.
solitude ...can make buddhism an escape from people and the outside world.buddha didn't want us to escape, but to awaken.
You may have a point, atappa. I've read on this forum that the Buddha didn't intend for a huge monastic power structure to develop in Buddhism. He may well have intended for monks to inhabit more or less temporary shelters and spend a good part of their time mingling with the public.
Maybe it boils down to the question: is solitude (even among the multitude) an escape, or is it a discipline, is it right thought, etc.? www.hermitary.com/solitude/rhinoceros.html
Maybe it boils down to the question: is solitude an escape, or is it a discipline, is it right thought, etc.? www.hermitary.com/solitude/rhinoceros.html
It must be discipline, if monks go on 3 year meditation retreats, or even 30 year retreats. Is there a point at which "discipline" and "escape" become synonymous?
Is "escape" necessarily a bad thing? Lots of people go into the monkhood to "escape" the world of materialist values, bill-paying, pettiness, etc. (Even one of our mods has expressed that sentiment.) Need we be judgmental about someone's need to "escape" the distractions of secular life?
Escaping is not necessarily bad. But a monk's life is not for escaping his problems, he turns to the monastery for a way to overcome his suffering. I believe that escaping suffering is like walking a long trail that goes in a circle. You will eventually wind back to the place you started. But to end suffering the Buddha wants us to awaken. Though everyone is entitled to their opinions.:D
Comments
I'm not worried about having a kid though. Just might need to get laid soon, or I might start considering those escorts.
I'm a Taurus by the way. But I'm also a Fire Tiger. That should explain a bit.
Think about that. Because if you do, the next thing you will be doing, whether you're aware of it or not, is DEMANDING that other people contribute to your happiness. Then there will be a next step -- fear, fear of loss, fear of alienation, fear of rejection, mutual control. Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you. If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling.
I enjoy it on a non-clinging basis. What I really enjoy is not you; it's something that's greater than both you and me. It is something that I discovered, a kind of symphony, a kind of orchestra that plays one melody in your presence, but when you depart, the orchestra doesn't stop. When I meet someone else, it plays another melody, which is also very delightful. And when I'm alone, it continues to play. There's a great repertoire and it never ceases to play."
http://www.demello.org/article9.html
Mustangs fall apart, teeth rot, apartments burn... cultivation of patience, good listening skills, empathy, sense of humor, sense of social responsibility, purpose are more important to most women than superficial materials. Unless you're looking to get laid a couple times, then get the mustang and some condoms.
If you like to argue, its not confusing that you'd be alone. War is isolating.
I want to say you're right, but I believe in my city you're wrong. L.A. seems to be a very superficial city. The more I plump my wallet, the better I look without a shirt, and the more I pimp my ride is what will get me women around here. Women here don't want a nice guy who will make them laugh, listen to them, and care about them if that guy is broke. They want a guy who has it all together and that will take care of them, even if they're a jerk they care more about money.
I hate to say it like that, but that's my reality with the women around here. And if I say that to any men I know personally who lived in L.A. many years they will agree with me. Personality won't get me anywhere with these women till I have enough money to take care of them. All the girlfriends I've ever had have been from places that weren't L.A.. They were all semi-long distance, I traveled 40+ min one way just to be with them. But they got along with me far better than my results with these local women. With the women I meet from L.A. they just seem cold as ice, and superficial as Hollywood divas.
If I end up being wrong, then good. But usually I am right in my observations.
"I use every conversion to hone my kung fu." "My kung fu is awesome"
and
"People don't like to talk to me"
...and I wonder if you're missing the cause/effect. Maybe its not your car or your teeth. Most people like to talk to increase intimacy and connectedness, not "hone truth." At the very least a balance, with most of the time on the first, not the second. And people, especially adults, don't enjoy being told they're wrong. You have to choose your battles very, very artfully in that regard.
Then again, maybe I am ignorant to the unique atmosphere of your environment and should just wish you luck with your well honed sword, your car and your teeth.
Good luck,
Matt
It's a devotion to practice. Monks don't just sit around all day meditating and studying.
many interact with the community and teach the Dhamma.
some are able to enter a monastery and then leave if they wish to return to a layperson's existence.
Even in Buddhism, only the lamas teach the Dharma in the community. 90% of the monks in TB monasteries have no understanding of all the texts they've spent years memorizing. They work in the monasteries to serve the lamas and keep the monastery running. Most monks aren't educated to to teach the Dharma.
Even when out in the community, Buddhism urges monks to be solitary. (see the Rhinoceros Suttra) Personally, I think solitude is a good thing. It develops independence. You may have a point, atappa. I've read on this forum that the Buddha didn't intend for a huge monastic power structure to develop in Buddhism. He may well have intended for monks to inhabit more or less temporary shelters and spend a good part of their time mingling with the public.
Maybe it boils down to the question: is solitude (even among the multitude) an escape, or is it a discipline, is it right thought, etc.? www.hermitary.com/solitude/rhinoceros.html