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Buddhist bill of rights

zidanguszidangus Veteran
edited April 2011 in General Banter
There is a funny (well I think it is) almost scarily near to the truth, joke called the physicists bill of rights (see below)

THE PHYSICISTS' BILL OF RIGHTS

(Author Unknown) We hold these postulates to be intuitively obvious,
that all physicists are born equal, to a first approximation, and are
endowed by their creator with certain discrete privileges, among them a
mean rest life, n degrees of freedom, and the following rights which are
invariant under all linear transformations:

* 1. To approximate all problems to ideal cases.
* 2. To use order of magnitude calculations whenever deemed necessary (i.e. whenever one can get away with it).
* 3. To use the rigorous method of "squinting" for solving problems more complex than the addition of positive real integers.
* 4. To dismiss all functions which diverge as "nasty" and "unphysical."
* 5. To invoke the uncertainty principle when confronted by confused mathematicians, chemists, engineers, psychologists, dramatists, and other lower scientists.
* 6. When pressed by non-physicists for an explanation of (4) to mumble in a sneering tone of voice something about physically naive mathematicians.
* 7. To equate two sides of an equation which are dimensionally inconsistent, with a suitable comment to the effect of, "Well, we are interested in the order of magnitude anyway."
* 8. To the extensive use of "b**tard notations" where conventional mathematics will not work.
* 9. To invent fictitious forces to delude the general public.
* 10. To justify shaky reasoning on the basis that it gives the right answer.
* 11. To cleverly choose convenient initial conditions, using the principle of general triviality.
* 12. To use plausible arguments in place of proofs, and thenceforth refer to these arguments as proofs.
* 13. To take on faith any principle which seems right but cannot be proved.


Just wondering what people would put in an equivalent Buddhist bill of rights (all for fun of course)

Metta to all sentient beings

Comments

  • 1. I will discuss meditation on forums even though I meditate 5 minutes each day lol
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    I will discuss karma without ever mentioning chameleons or boy George.
    Or how it ran over your dogma.
  • 1. I will kiss my dogs even though It makes my face smelly and others gasp in disgust
  • I will try to help others in the discussion of not wanting even though I am in am uphill battle currently and REALLY want a bagel with jam
  • zidanguszidangus Veteran
    edited April 2011
    1: To be aware that I am aware when I am aware, and once I have this awareness of awareness I'll be aware that I have this awareness of awareness and finally be aware what that all sounds like :buck:

    Metta to all sentient beings
  • I will talk about something even if I know little about it and make it seem like I am well versed in the subject.
  • I will be compassionate to all sentient beings unless it's raining, snowing, sunny, day, night, before 2pm, after 2pm or on days that end in "y".
  • DaozenDaozen Veteran
    Haha easy one :)

    We believe in wisdom, compassion and the pursuit of enlightenment. Furthermore,

    1. You have the right to remain silent.
    2. Anything you say may be taken as evidence of your clinging to gross existence.

    Namaste
  • zombiegirlzombiegirl beating the drum of the lifeless in a dry wasteland Veteran
    i will profess compassion for all beings, except those whom disagree with me on buddhist concepts. i will vanquish those fools with the fire of a thousand burning wikipedias!
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    We need to put these in as ToC and Guidelines..... :screwy: :lol:
  • zidanguszidangus Veteran
    edited April 2011
    To constantly cite Wikipedia as the source of all correct information with the deluded belief that if Buddha was alive today he would be a Wikipedian (i.e editor of Wiki)



    Metta to all sentient beings
  • I will discuss karma without ever mentioning chameleons or boy George.
    Or how it ran over your dogma.
    Actually the "ran over your dogma", is always my knee jerk response to hearing or even seeing the word karma, I just never had the balls to say it in a thread (people seem to take those discussions very seriously). :p
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