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Truly Profound Meditation Experience
Talisman
Veteran
I have been practicing a lot more frequently lately, and studying a lot of literature regarding the Jhanas. Last night I had, what I felt, was a considerable breakthrough, and I'd like to share it for those who are interested.
Instead of meditating with my eyes open as usual, I decided to practice with my eyes shut. It seems like a small change, but to a mind like mine, after a short while absolutely any visual stimulus quickly reveals paterns and marks that become very distracting. Although early on, the flood of mental stimuli was rather overwhelming, by continually focusing on my breath, thought slowly started to ebb away from my center of focus. If I noticed that I was getting drowsy or distracted I would open my eyes for a moment to help rouse mindfulness.
One particular difference I noticed this time was that through practicing and studying more voraciously, I am becoming more able to recognize the hinderances as they arise and recognize their passing through cultivated awareness. It's like watching sugar dropped in water slowly diffusing. I feel like as time passes my mind's interest in the object of focus (the body of breath) improves and it become easier to abide with the breath and allow my focus to increase without additional strain or effort.
The greatest breakthrough for me, however, was toward the end of the session. It is hard to put entirely in to words but I will try my best. My focus was improving, but there was still a dialogue. Like, "Watch the breath," or "Stay focused," or "You're doing good," or "remember what you read." At one point, I remembered reading about a metaphor describing the difference between Piti and Sukha where piti is the knowledge of happiness and Sukha is experienced Bliss. Piti is like wandering through a desert and seeing a cool oasis with shade and water, Sukha is like sitting in the shade and drinking the water.
It was like the moment that this metaphor came to my mind, all inner dialogue stopped and my awareness shifted in such a way as to actually "experience" the object of focus. Literally it felt like someone pouring light and space into my head (which is not a good analogy but the best way I can explain it right now.) It wasn't heavy or thick or violent, but definitely explosive, expansive, and wide. None of these adjectives were brought to mind immediately because I was not thinking at all, my awareness remained focused entirely upon the object (originally the course body of breath but now more of a mental construct that was more of a feeling of a pinpoint with space and light combined and an ebbing and flowing remeniscent of the in-and-out breathing.)
This rushing and overwhelming feeling of spacious, profound satisfaction was like opening a door and validating my faith in a world beyond it's frame. It lasted probably 4-6 seconds! lol
After an exteremely short period of time my focus wavered and I thought I was dying. Literally, my heart was pounding in my head and I thought that if I kept this up that my brain would explode and I would die. I eventually opened my eyes and check my timer and I had come to the end of my planned session so I took refuge and stretched. In the moments following the practice I felt elated and fresh. It was like I was sitting in a cool, open, and spacious dream.
It was a very profound experience for me, and I am even more convinced in the power of the Dharma to transform and liberate my mind.
With loving-kindness -T
Instead of meditating with my eyes open as usual, I decided to practice with my eyes shut. It seems like a small change, but to a mind like mine, after a short while absolutely any visual stimulus quickly reveals paterns and marks that become very distracting. Although early on, the flood of mental stimuli was rather overwhelming, by continually focusing on my breath, thought slowly started to ebb away from my center of focus. If I noticed that I was getting drowsy or distracted I would open my eyes for a moment to help rouse mindfulness.
One particular difference I noticed this time was that through practicing and studying more voraciously, I am becoming more able to recognize the hinderances as they arise and recognize their passing through cultivated awareness. It's like watching sugar dropped in water slowly diffusing. I feel like as time passes my mind's interest in the object of focus (the body of breath) improves and it become easier to abide with the breath and allow my focus to increase without additional strain or effort.
The greatest breakthrough for me, however, was toward the end of the session. It is hard to put entirely in to words but I will try my best. My focus was improving, but there was still a dialogue. Like, "Watch the breath," or "Stay focused," or "You're doing good," or "remember what you read." At one point, I remembered reading about a metaphor describing the difference between Piti and Sukha where piti is the knowledge of happiness and Sukha is experienced Bliss. Piti is like wandering through a desert and seeing a cool oasis with shade and water, Sukha is like sitting in the shade and drinking the water.
It was like the moment that this metaphor came to my mind, all inner dialogue stopped and my awareness shifted in such a way as to actually "experience" the object of focus. Literally it felt like someone pouring light and space into my head (which is not a good analogy but the best way I can explain it right now.) It wasn't heavy or thick or violent, but definitely explosive, expansive, and wide. None of these adjectives were brought to mind immediately because I was not thinking at all, my awareness remained focused entirely upon the object (originally the course body of breath but now more of a mental construct that was more of a feeling of a pinpoint with space and light combined and an ebbing and flowing remeniscent of the in-and-out breathing.)
This rushing and overwhelming feeling of spacious, profound satisfaction was like opening a door and validating my faith in a world beyond it's frame. It lasted probably 4-6 seconds! lol
After an exteremely short period of time my focus wavered and I thought I was dying. Literally, my heart was pounding in my head and I thought that if I kept this up that my brain would explode and I would die. I eventually opened my eyes and check my timer and I had come to the end of my planned session so I took refuge and stretched. In the moments following the practice I felt elated and fresh. It was like I was sitting in a cool, open, and spacious dream.
It was a very profound experience for me, and I am even more convinced in the power of the Dharma to transform and liberate my mind.
With loving-kindness -T
0
Comments
I hope you have a lot of other nice experiences.
With metta,
Sabre
@meh_
Mind sharing some of those?
Hearing people like you talk about these things is good motivation for myself!
Thanks
Nice report as well, very pleasant to read. thanks for sharing.
When the student (me for instance) was all enthusiastic and telling in full colors what brilliant experience he head been through; the teacher would just ask “and what did you note?”
Because in this style of meditation one is probably supposed to make a mental note saying “bliss, bliss” or something like that. Vipassana is simply mental noting.
Just like when a person (me for instance) would go through extreme difficulties and talk about them: “and what did you note?”
The point of which is that we tend to get carried away by what happens in meditation.
And all that it is, is thoughts and emotions and feelings and sensations and so on.
There’s nothing in it. No me. Just things happening.
Now is now, and what happened back then is gone. What can you note right now?
At the other hand: this kind of experience is what keeps us going in meditation, I’m sure!
Good luck!
Number 2, I spend all day looking up and studying new sutras, commentaries, meditation techniques, etc. Basically my greatest hobby is my interest, practice, and study of Buddhism. I try my best to learn as many different angles and perspectives as possible and using that information to improve my practice and my understanding of the Dharma, for the sake of liberating myself and others.
Number 3, I am in the habit of meditating at least once a day. I always meditate in the evaning after dinner, after showering, so that I feel calm, rested, and at ease. And I have been starting to get up before work early to meditate in the morning as well. I use two pillows folded up as my cushion and set my phone to vibrate with an alarm for when I plan the session to end. I stretch and take refuge in the 3 jewels while cultivating mindfulness. You should set aside your concerns and your affairs when preparing to meditate. Your whole being should be focused on the task at hand which is developing concentration. Currently I am only able to sit half-lotus but every now and then I push myself to see if I have become limber enough for full-lotus. I started by doing 15 min a session and have worked up to 30-45 min. I experiment with lots of different tips and methods I have found online. Don't push yourself too hard and don't become discouraged if things are difficult. This discouragement is one of the hinderances and must be overcome patiently before progress can be attained.
The fruits of maintaining regular meditation have been noticable and my practice continues to evolve with every day. I hope that your path yields you blessings.
I’m sure you are doing that.
I’m not criticizing (today).
I don't see any criticism here. I was just responding
I can't even get into the proper cross legged position so I sit on a chair!!
Is that a bad thing? If so, why?
Thank you for your inspiring post.
The fact you think your head was exploding I think was because you put all your focus on the head. The heartbeat inside the head was just normal, it's always there, but your deep concentration made it seem like it was extremely intense. This is just a 'wild guess', but it seems very plausible because I've had that too (but left out the feel-like-i'm-dying part
Anyway, have fun practicing!
Sabre