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Are friends necessary? I spend all my time with my girlfriend

blueberriespleaseblueberriesplease Explorer
edited April 2011 in General Banter
I used to have lots of close friends but not anymore because I like spending my time with my girlfriend, who is my best friend.

Sometimes I feel insecure though, as if I'm supposed to have at least some close friends.

Do you think its necessary to have close friends?

I dont feel like I need friends, especially since my relationship with my girlfriend is so open and we have so much fun,and I wouldnt want friend time to take away from spending time with her. We both dont have a lot of free time, so when we do is kinda cherished.

Also, when I'm not with her I like being alone. I'm content with being with her all the time , and then throughout the day I like connecting with random people I encounter.

Thanks :)

Comments

  • SherabDorjeSherabDorje
    What if the relationship ends?
  • blueberriespleaseblueberriesplease Explorer
    What if the relationship ends?
    I know its possible, but we've been together for a long time and its very very unlikely. Would you suggest I make friends as a sort of insurance in case my relationship doesn't work out? :)
    Or is it okay to just make friends if and when the relationship would end?
  • SherabDorjeSherabDorje
    "Would you suggest I make friends as a sort of insurance in case my relationship doesn't work out?"

    Yes.
  • MindGateMindGate United States Veteran
    Oh my God. Same with me. I mean, I used to hang out with a few friends a few years ago... but now I spend ALL my time with my girlfriend. I do not believe friends are necessary in this case. I'm perfectly content with her.
  • blueberriespleaseblueberriesplease Explorer

    Thank you for the suggestion SherabDorje
    :)
  • blueberriespleaseblueberriesplease Explorer
    @MindGate
    It's nice to meet someone to relate to about this. My instinct is the same as yours also.

    So do you worry about being without friends if it were to end?

    Personally, after considering it, I dont think I would want to be with friends if by the extremely slim chance we broke up. Even if I had friends now I'd probably want a lot of alone time to heal and grow again. Then I would re-kindle friendships later. I think that may just be my nature, everyone may be different on the issue.

    :)
  • skullchinskullchin Veteran
    Yes, friends are necessary. You don't want to become overly dependent on your girlfriend (even if/when she becomes your wife). You might find that having separate friends will improved your relationship with your GF.

    BTW, I am very happy for you that your have found such a good relationship. You have a treasured, heavily sought after jewel. :)
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    I suggest you seek advice from a therapist. Your relationship does sound out of balance, but it would be hard to say for sure without meeting you. (Maybe even then.)
  • blueberriespleaseblueberriesplease Explorer
    edited April 2011
    @skullchin
    I've actually tried being with friends and I just get kinda drained because its unfulfilling in comparison to my girlfriend, I can almost say I get bored.I feel like its not nearly as much fun and there's not as much laughter or growth. So I end up just kinda waiting for friendtime to end so I can go have more fun with my girlfriend. :/
    Thank you for your nice words and suggestions :)

    @fivebells
    Hmmm, okay :)
  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    edited April 2011
    If you're getting "drained" or bored with your friend, it means you need to keep looking. Really good, close, friends that you can have fun with and share anything and everything with are as rare as a fulfilling partner. Many people only have one or two friends like that. Often people have different friends who fulfill different sides of their personality or who address different interests. I think it's rare that one person can fit the entire bill. Maybe the "almost" boredom is happening because you're expecting your friends to be more than they can be; to share all your interests rather than just a couple of them.
    BTW, if you're getting "much laughter and growth" with your girlfriend, you're fortunate indeed. :) I hope this is helpful.
  • VincenziVincenzi Veteran
    that sounds sad.
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    Consider looking for some like minded couples. It doesn't need to be "do I spend time with my friends or with my girlfriend" but "How do we invest our free time?" Consider that having friends as a couple can be quite nourishing.

    If the relationship is nourishing and stable, it is fine to consider things like mutual free time, much like you would consider a mutual residence.
  • blueberriespleaseblueberriesplease Explorer
    @compassionate_warrior
    yes very helpful. Thanks

    @aMatt & @compassionate_warrior
    Yes I do agree. I think I just have more fun picking my gf 's nose and pooting on her and stuff and playing and I sometimes feel like I can't do that when we hang out with others, hehehe! Ultimately, yes I do need to start getting ahold of myself and make myself able to enjoy the other aspects of life and interests with others. It takes a bit of effort to pick up and try to form new interests to share with others, especially when I just want to be a monkey and play with my girlfriend.
    Thank you for helping me to realize the answer though, I will be patient and discover new ways of interacting with friends as a couple. Blessings

    @Vincenzi
    I don't feel sad, but thank you for concerning :)
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    What if the relationship ends?
    I know its possible, but we've been together for a long time and its very very unlikely.
    I was with my ex-husband for 26 years. We still split up. Don't ever discount something as 'unlikely'.... besides, you and your girlfriend are destined to part. There is absolutely no avoiding this. You will lose her, or she will lose you.
    Would you suggest I make friends as a sort of insurance in case my relationship doesn't work out? :)
    No.
    I personally would suggest making friends to have an independent, gregarious and varied life, with different stimuli and input from others.
    Or is it okay to just make friends if and when the relationship would end?
    So let's say it ends when you're both 70.
    Why wait until then?
    Besides, if you can't predict when it will end, it's foolish to just plan for then.
    make friends now, while you are still together.
    I believe many might call it "getting a life".
    co-dependence is not the healthiest thing....

  • JuliaJulia
    I think in the long run it is important to have friends also. If not you can end up being to dependent and bored of each other. It is good to spend time with different people. At least that is my experience. :rolleyes:
  • hermitwinhermitwin Veteran
    Its a phase, you will get over it.
  • blueberriespleaseblueberriesplease Explorer
    @federica
    Thank you :) The word 'codependency' makes me cringe! I really hope I'm not living that way, and I would never have thought that to be the case. I feel independent, I guess I also havent met the right friends yet. I dont want to mistake feeling my relationship as great and free, for a delusion of it being something full of hidden codependency aspects. I wouldn't even know how to detect codependency issues, but it scares the heck out of me.
  • VincenziVincenzi Veteran
    @blueberriesplease

    it is your position that sounds sad, I wasn't implying that you're sad.
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