Thinking about going to a Buddhist temple for the first time. Nervous.

Hawkins

I've always practiced alone and at home. Now, I'm feeling slightly nervous with the thought of practicing with a group of people who I have never met before. Has anyone else ever felt this way when you branched out of your home and practiced elsewhere?
What are some ways to rid me of this anxiety

vinlyn

Where are you and what branch of Buddhism are you involved in?

My experiences in Buddhist temples have been extensively in Thailand and a few temples here in the States. In Thailand I have always found it much different. In most temples it is a very individual thing. I typically go in, give my respects to the Buddha image, and then meditate for some period of time...perhaps as little as 5 minutes or as long as 30 minutes. It was rare for me to walk past a Buddhist temple and not go in and spend time like that...sometimes several temples in one day.

But here in the States it has been very different, even though I have only visited Thai temples here. As an American you are much more "on display". People feel they have to interact with you...not that that is bad, but it sort of takes away your freedom of being alone with your thoughts.

If you are here in the States, and you are going to a Thai Theravada temple, it is typical to go around 10:30, take food to the monks, spend some time focusing on the Buddha, share food with the other visitors AFTER the monks have eaten, and chat.

Hawkins

I'm interested in Zen. I'm in Virginia Beach, Virginia. This is where I'll be going tonight (http://www.buddhistedu.org/en/)
It's a night time event on Mondays, morning on Sundays

Sabre

Some nervous feelings are normal.

To lessen the anxiety:
What can possibly happen? It's not like it's going to kill you Also they really won't judge your meditation, maybe they can even help you with some issues!

vinlyn

Good point, Sabre!

Yet, I know the feelings are natural. Sometime this week I will visit the Thai Theravada temple here in Colorado Springs for the first time. For some reason, I am nervous about it, even though logically that is silly.

Best of luck going, Hawkins!

andyZ

I'm interested in Zen. I'm in Virginia Beach, Virginia. This is where I'll be going tonight (http://www.buddhistedu.org/en/)
It's a night time event on Mondays, morning on Sundays

Good luck with your visit. When I first visited a zen center I was taken aback when I was told to do prostrations. If you feel like that, don't be afraid, it's your ego talking

taiyaki

don't think just do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

Takuan

I would suggest calling the center ahead of time. This way the people who run the event know someone new is coming and may give you some advice for your first visit.

Ric

Its called anticipatory anxiety. Everyone has it to some degree. The more you dwell on it the stronger it becomes.

See it as an adventure, even if you hate it youll have experienced something new that will always be with you. Also, breaking through anxiety and trying new things is how we grow. We expand our comfort zone

genkaku

I was scared witless the first time I went to a Zen temple ... all those people sitting still and silent ... what if I screwed up?

The cure for anxiety is to do it. First of all, those who are running things are aware of a newcomer's ignorance and fear. Just ask them what to do and I am sure they will tell you. Second, I don't think they will ask you to swallow goldfish until the second or third meeting. Third, it may help to recall that the practice of Buddhism could very easily -- and I mean VERY easily -- be referred to as Mistakes R Us. We all make mistakes and correct them, make new mistakes and correct those to, make even more mistakes ... well, you get the drift.

Enjoy the anxiety ... it will give you a laugh later.

Arjquad

For my sociology class were in our religion unit and for that as a project we need to go to a place of worship and sit through a service (if they have one) that you don't go to (like a Christian can't go to a church and a Jew can't go to a synagogue) and I was thinking it's a great excuse to go to a temple since no one knows that I (somewhat) consider myself Buddhist.

vinlyn

For my sociology class were in our religion unit and for that as a project we need to go to a place of worship and sit through a service (if they have one) that you don't go to (like a Christian can't go to a church and a Jew can't go to a synagogue) and I was thinking it's a great excuse to go to a temple since no one knows that I (somewhat) consider myself Buddhist.

Sort of reminds me of the time two teacher friends were taking a course in comparative religion and they asked me if I would take them to a Buddhist temple in the Washington, D.C. area. At first I said no, but then thought better of it. One of the ladies was Christian, the other Jewish. So, one Saturday we went with food for the monks and arrived at about 10:45. I realized right away that something was "different". Turned out it was the one year anniversary of a death. And although it was supposed to be a family situation, we were all welcomed and urged to stay and observe and participate. The people really were quite lovely about it.

Arjquad

That's nice but very awkward. I don't know if I'll go alone or not. I'm trying to get someone I know who is Jewish to come with me. But he keeps making the mistake of saying no.

tamm

Arjquad, if I lived by you, I'd go! I still haven't ever been to one. Being a poor, car deprived student, and over an hour away from a temple means that I don't have a lot of options for studying with others.

Hawkins

I wish I had someone to go with! I'm trying to talk my girlfriend who I live with to come with me. Even though she isn't Buddhist lol.

Arjquad

Well I have a car. But I hate being in awkward situations which is one reason I am not very social.

seeker242

I've always practiced alone and at home. Now, I'm feeling slightly nervous with the thought of practicing with a group of people who I have never met before. Has anyone else ever felt this way when you branched out of your home and practiced elsewhere?
What are some ways to rid me of this anxiety

You go there and meet the people face to face and find out that they are probably the nicest people you will ever meet.

Hawkins

They said they do chanting, meditation, and discussion. Do they require you to chant? I've never favored that

Jeffrey

They will chant and you may join them or not in the vocals.

NOTaGangsta

It's a great training on tolerance and accepting other people's ways. If you just keep on doing things you like then you will never grow.

I am not a big fan of chanting either, but thats because of my laziness and lack of practice for old school Chinese.

genkaku

A short definition of discipline is "doing what you don't want to do." Don't want to chant. Don't want to bow. Don't want to sit cross-legged. Don't want to smell incense. Don't want fill-in-the-blank.

But think a minute. If everything agreed perfectly with what you want or don't want, you would be precisely where you are right now, without having visited a temple. If things are satisfactory where you are right now, then there is no point in visiting a temple or even concerning yourself with Buddhism.

But if things are not exactly satisfactory right now and if you are looking for ways in which to make them more satisfactory, then visiting a temple might be one experimental trip to make.

I think I can speak for at least some Buddhists when I say that the idealized version of Buddhism is fine for a while. Reading books, hearing stories, feeling yourself touched by one thing or another. But at some point, that idealism requires some feet-on-the-ground examination in order to be sustained. And that examination is likely to revise previous views. Luckily, the evidence seems to be that those who stuck with the practice found those revisions both warranted and pleasant.

Best wishes.

Hawkins

Thanks everyone!
I'm going to take part in chanting, but I was asking for a friend who's interested in Buddhism and has asked to come with me. Although she's never chanted before, and would most likely feel slightly out of place chanting for her first visit.
Thanks again,
Tyler H

Spaceless

I've always practiced alone and at home. Now, I'm feeling slightly nervous with the thought of practicing with a group of people who I have never met before. Has anyone else ever felt this way when you branched out of your home and practiced elsewhere?
What are some ways to rid me of this anxiety

If you have deep heartfelt loving kindness and benevolence nature of living beings, there will never be anxiety occurring.

shadowleaver

I had been practicing alone for 4+ years before I finally decided that I needed some support. So I went to a Korean Zen temple (Kwan Um school) and at first felt so awkward that my body was shaking. But after coming there a couple of times I started feeling quite at home and now look forward to each visit.

Perhaps what made it easy was that most people were Westerners and cultural differences were minimal, if any at all. I found out that there are others just like me who decided that Buddhism makes sense for them personally. I suspect that going to an "ethnic" temple where most people were actually born into a Buddhist culture would be a different thing.