Buddhism & Botox

TiaP

I have a question that might seem quite superficial or vain and if so I apologise in advance. I have come to Buddhism after many years living with quite a different set of priorities and values and so have many questions and a curiosity how certain everyday things might be viewed.

I usually make an effort to present myself well (in this instance I refer to the physical sense). In my job in TV it is beneficial to do so and I like to make myself attractive to my partner also. I don’t go to the extreme but I have gone as far as botox. I wondered how this is viewed by Buddhist-minded others? I feel a little embarrassed admitting I do the botox thing so it’s not something I generally advertise! I can see how a desire to ‘look good’ can be a weakness but I wonder how different something like botox is viewed from say wearing make-up, doing your hair nicely or making an effort with say your attire? All things many of us do to present ourselves favourably to others. Are they all unskilful behaviours?

Any views or feedback welcomed
Thanks for listening
TiaP

Dakini

This materialistic and superfician culture we live in puts so much pressure on people, it's sad. I view this question as the Buddhism-and-make-up question we had earlier, kicked up a notch. I suspect that most people getting botox don't really need it. Did it really make a significant difference in your appearance? Just curious. I acknowledge that having a job that requires one to be in front of TV cameras adds to the pressure. It's a sad world we live in, but there are certain realities one has to deal with. It can be especially challenging for women. I can't pass judgment, since I haven't walked in your shoes. Just get a good Buddhist practice going, start meditating if you haven't already, practice mindfulness (watch your thoughts, see if you tend to self-judge, for example), and see if over time, your thinking doesn't shift.

If your partner would love you less because you don't do botox, I dunno...what does that say? I can't imagine that that would be true. Hopefully not. Our own minds can torture us and convince us of anything, you know...

Welcome, BTW.

Jeffrey

If one is a buddhist who scorns such behaviour that means that one is attached to ones views of a simple non-materialistic life. Either way you go you deal with grasping whether you do botox or do not. So for that reason the path you are on is a good one and it is workable to bring to buddhism. You decide for yourself if you want botox.

zidangus

I don't think "I abstain from having botox" is in the five precepts, tough I may be wrong.
I think most people who have botox or cosmetic surgery (for vain reasons), is because they are unhappy inside and they believe that this will make them happy. If it does this, then that's great, but I am not so sure that it does, and Im not sure that it actually solves the underlying problem, and that is lack of confidence and self esteem. From a Buddhist point of view, I would say how a person looks is quite irrelevant, apart from being a timely reminder that we are constantly changing and that all things in samsara are subject to decay and death, and if a person has low self confidence and self esteem, then following the Buddhist path can help with this via understanding that everyone living being is precious, understanding how our ego works, understanding impermanence and dependant arising. Through wisdom using meditation, mindfulness and our own logical reasoning, lack of confidence and self esteem can be eradicated and replaced with belief and awareness of what a precious and fantastic opportunity this life actually is to gain real lasting happiness.

With Metta

TiaP

Thank you all for your comments. I have been practicing daily meditation for about 6 months and reading a lot of material. My partner would prefer I did not have botox but he doesn't put pressure on me to stop. I believe I do it out in insecurity - in my industry it doesn't pay to look much older than mid 30's tops. Tragic I know, but I guess we're genetically engineered to associated youth with vitality and good health. I suspect as my practice and understanding deepens this insecurity of mine will loosen it's hold on me and one day I will feel absolutely no need to use crutches like botox. I look forward to that

person

If you're a doctor you have to keep up on the latest research, if you're on TV you have to look good its part of the job. Try to view it as a part of doing your job, if you feel like its necessary, like wearing make-up or doing your hair.

What you should try to overcome is the feeling that you need this for people to like you by focusing on and developing your inner qualities like compassion, patience, wisdom, etc.

The Buddhist path is not a quick one and overcoming such attitudes will take time. For example if you wanted to run a marathon you wouldn't just decide to do it, show up, and be able to run one because you want to. You'd have train and work up to it. In the same way training our mind to think in different ways takes time and effort. If you tried to run a marathon without training you wouldn't get upset at yourself for not being able to right away, so if you want to be less attached to outward appearance don't get upset if you're not able to give it up immediately.

Dakini

I agree with person.
But: look at the women newscasters who have been around forever: Diane Sawyer, and others. It used to be that women half their age would start worrying about being "too old". Times change. The trend is changing in favor of not having to fake your looks. Slowly. That's nice that your partner loves you as you are. The rest of the world is an entirely different matter, no? That's the kicker. Take comfort in the fact that you chose your partner well. That's a blessing. Focus on what you have to be thankful for in life. There's such a tendency to focus on the negative, especially when looking in the mirror! Bag that insecurity, life's too short.

TiaP

Did it really make a significant difference in your appearance? Just curious.

No, not so big a difference but I am occassionally told I look younger than my age and I admit it's nice hearing that! I hope as you say times are changing. The broadcaster I work for has a history of moving women off prime-time shows once they hit 40+. I don't understand it really, which is another reason I prefer to keep my 'beauty secrets' private, as I wouldn't like to promote it as something other women or girls should consider doing. It'd be nice for this trend to run out of stream rather than continue.

Dakini

I bet you looked younger than your age anyway, before the botox. Yeah, it would be nice for life to move towards being more compassionate and humane. You're in a tough industry for that.

SherabDorje

There's a highly secretive and obscure Tibetan tradition called Nobotoxayana. They believe that if you use botox you'll burn in hell forever.

Seriously, I believe it's a personal choice and there's no reason at all you should feel badly about it or even question your own judgment about it. As said above, if it's part of your job, it is. If it's worth it to look younger, what's the harm? It's just like makeup or the way you choose to wear your hair.

Welcome.

zidangus

Did it really make a significant difference in your appearance? Just curious.

No, not so big a difference but I am occassionally told I look younger than my age and I admit it's nice hearing that! I hope as you say times are changing. The broadcaster I work for has a history of moving women off prime-time shows once they hit 40+. I don't understand it really, which is another reason I prefer to keep my 'beauty secrets' private, as I wouldn't like to promote it as something other women or girls should consider doing. It'd be nice for this trend to run out of stream rather than continue.

Sounds like something FOX would do

Sorry I love rupert murdoch really :screwy:

:rolleyes:

fivebells

If you're doing it for purely practical reasons, it's not a problem. If you're motivated by attachment to your physical form, that's obviously a problem. You are in a job which will (has) obviously cultivate attachment to your physical form, because your continued employment depends on it. Might be time to change careers.

Vincenzi

isn't botox poison?!

fivebells

Yes, but it's used topically to kill facial nerves which are creating facial wrinkles.

Sabre

I wouldn't focus on the botox, but on the fact you feel embarrassed about it. Why? Is there a reason to be embarrassed?

From a Buddhist point of view nothing is to be considered embarrassing and if you had botox, fine. Some monks have tattoos from before they ordained, also fine.