How can i become more social?

thewalkindude

I'm a pretty introvert person and find it difficult to make a social connection with people. Its not that I'm unhappy or that I don't want to make a connection. It just feels difficult to show much about myself to people. Through my life I've only made 1 real friend and a handful of people i simply hang out with. I can usually do okay in a conversation when the other person has a lot to say but I find it difficult to try and keep conversations going. Asking about the other person feels foreign and unwelcome to me. Do you guys have any tips to help me make a deeper connection with people?

person

I'm pretty much the same way. All I can say is meditation on love and compassion has helped me be ok with being alone and much more relaxed and open towards others when interacting. I've tried but I don't know of any quick tricks that can help unfortunately.

moss

Hi, I found this book really helpful! - The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World. by Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D. - It.s really interesting, and gives real insight into the differences between introverts and extroverts, as well as some helpful hints on socializing :-) I recommend it.

DaltheJigsaw

Use the internet to meet new people.
Also use http://www.meetup.com as a way to connect with other Buddhist in your area.

Mr_Serenity

Some good advice so far. I use meetup.com a lot. I can't say I have close local friends, but I do socialize with plenty of people. The more you keep doing it, whether you connect or not, it will build your social intelligence. Practice does amount to something. Then maybe eventually you'll make a good friend you can hang out with.

So the trick is to get rid of the fear of talking to people. You never completely get rid of it, you just get better. Though there can be a right and wrong time to approach someone, so discretion is different from fear. That comes in studying body language, that's something else fun to do. You can often study someones body language and see what they might be feeling or thinking and go on with the conversation from there.

All of us have energy in our bodies, we give off a frequency. That other people can see or feel. The perfect example of this might be after you have sex and go outside, maybe suddenly strangers are attracted to you, even though you may think you don't look your best.

Before I talk to people in public lately, I keep this frequency in mind. This sort of electric aura that attracts or repels, that we all have. I try to keep mine warm and pretend like I've known someone for a while when I do socialize with them in person. I've got a lot of compliments like I am soft spoken and that I'm very articulate and nice etc. Good compliments, but it can still be tough to connect once they start to know the things I'm into.

So if you're warm to people in public, even if you don't know how to socialize in general, it's good practice. Also asking questions and listening is big. If you talk too much, in person, or you interrupt a person too much it can be intimidating to timid people.

Tikal2012

I would say don't stress it. Learn to just be at peace with who you are and what you've got. If you can accept life the way it is, and learn to be content no matter what, then naturally, I'm sure, you will find that you begin to open up more to other people and make more friends. It's all about how lighthearted and carefree you are. The more you can cultivate these qualities, then the less you will be concerned with matters such as those you have mentioned, and the less you are concerned with these matters, then the more these matters tend to resolve themselves.
-Tikal

Zayl

try drinking a little bit.

thewalkindude

Thanks for all the replies guys. I have downloaded that book to my kindle "moss". I will try to be more up beat and stress out less.

try drinking a little bit.

Is this a serious reply? I notice when i drink i do lighten up a lot lol.

Zayl

Thanks for all the replies guys. I have downloaded that book to my kindle "moss". I will try to be more up beat and stress out less.

try drinking a little bit.

Is this a serious reply? I notice when i drink i do lighten up a lot lol.

Only half joking. Really just keep going out and meeting people, eventually you'll loosen up. I'm rather shy myself but after awhile I can befriend just about anyone.