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Thoughts on criticism?

jgppjgpp
edited June 2011 in Philosophy
When is criticism useful and when is it not? When people hear criticism they tend to associate it with a form of negativity?

Is criticism inherently negative? Or is it just a dominate character trait of "negative people"?

Can't one be critical without being "negative"? Isn't having a critical perspective valuable in many aspects of our lives?

- What's the salesman's real intention here.. Is this person really trying to do me a favor or trying to hustle me etc. etc.

When to criticize, when to not? Depends on intention? Depends on established rapport? How the criticisms delivered?

Can criticism be healthy? Not taking oneself and life so seriously? Being able to take the criticism with stride etc..

Such thing as playful criticism?

Thoughts?


Comments

  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    Delivering a lot of criticism can be due to confusion of the giver. Or anger. Or to get something - greed. Not receiving criticism constructively can be due to attachment to an idea of safety, high performance, goodness and so forth.

    I think :)
  • santhisouksanthisouk Veteran
    edited June 2011
    Good question jgpp. I would look at criticism like an ego trap. Because when we are criticized we either judge others, ourselves or both. It's difficult to draw helpful information from criticism. To remedy this though we have to somehow lower our ego just enough to accept what they say, and move on. It is not wise to dwell on the criticism to the point where we are drawing conclusions and passing judgement on others or ourself. It is best to just listen to what they have to say, and just leave it be as that. Then just move on to the next thing. :)
  • kaytekayte
    It depends on the intention of the critic. If they are offering criticism in a constructive manner to help someone learn and improve, it's beneficial. It's up to the recipient to either accept the help or reject it in anger.

    If the critic is trying to undermine or humiliate someone, the intention is negative. It becomes self serving and can be harmful if the recipient takes it as valid.
  • DaozenDaozen Veteran
    @jgpp

    Seem like you are not talking about 'criticism' so much as 'skepticism' (regarding dodgy salesmen etc). In which case i'd say that a healthy degree of skepticism is a good thing. It just boils down to having your eyes open and asking questions.
  • jgppjgpp
    edited June 2011
    @jgpp

    Seem like you are not talking about 'criticism' so much as 'skepticism' (regarding dodgy salesmen etc). In which case i'd say that a healthy degree of skepticism is a good thing. It just boils down to having your eyes open and asking questions.
    Bad example of criticism on my part. You're right, the example is more an example of skepticism.



  • DaozenDaozen Veteran
    edited June 2011
    Bad example of criticism on my part. You're right, the example is more an example of skepticism.
    Oh OK. In that case, i think criticism can be fine as long as it is a) constructive - which means framed in a positive, helpful way using specific examples and not making it a personal thing, and b) ideally, it is 'invited' criticism, otherwise you risk being considered a wise-ass, even if you are technically correct.

  • auraaura Veteran
    Shakespeare said "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..."
    How right he was!
    But he didn't mention the audience!
    There will always be critics in the audience, and many of them harsh.
    The more fearful they are of being on stage themselves, the harsher they will be!
    The solution is to walk out into the lights and show them what you're made of!
    Seated behind every critic in your audience there is someone else whom you will inspire.
  • DaozenDaozen Veteran
    edited June 2011
    Shakespeare said "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..."
    How right he was!
    But he didn't mention the audience!
    There will always be critics in the audience, and many of them harsh.
    The more fearful they are of being on stage themselves, the harsher they will be!
    The solution is to walk out into the lights and show them what you're made of!
    Seated behind every critic in your audience there is someone else whom you will inspire.
    :clap:
  • jgppjgpp
    Shakespeare said "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..."
    How right he was!
    But he didn't mention the audience!
    There will always be critics in the audience, and many of them harsh.
    The more fearful they are of being on stage themselves, the harsher they will be!
    The solution is to walk out into the lights and show them what you're made of!
    Seated behind every critic in your audience there is someone else whom you will inspire.
    Yes, very true.
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    When I became a school administrator I was a little too thin skinned. But I trained myself to listen to criticisms, and the evaluate them...to find wisdom in some criticism, and to understand that some criticism had ulterior motives.
  • Bodha8Bodha8 Veteran
    Criticism is not always of a negative nature. One must always attempt to achieve tranquility of the mind. In so doing, one may take the opportunity to analyze any criticism and determine it's nature. After such analysis one can then decide if he should respond (rather than react), or not respond. Either way the answer lies within the tranquil mind.

    Namaste
  • GuyCGuyC Veteran
    edited June 2011
    Hi Jgpp,

    As both Vinlyn and Bodha8 have pointed out, we should listen to criticism, then, having heard it, we should try to be honest with ourselves to assess whether or not it is valid.

    If the criticism is valid (even if the person who gave the criticism was, in fact, trying to upset us) then we see what we can do to change the attitudes/behaviours which were being criticized.

    If the criticism is not valid, then we can drop it.

    In any case - whether we believe the criticism was accurate or not and whether we believe the person was trying to hurt us or not - we should not allow their words to take away our happiness.

    On the other hand, if we intend to offer some criticism, we should first check ourselves to see that we have the right intention (i.e. for the other person's benefit). We should also check ourselves to see if the behaviour or attitude of the other person which we wish to criticize is not also present in ourself (i.e. to avoid hypocrisy).

    Also, how well do we know the person? Can we be sure that they will not be hurt by it (even if our intention is pure)? First of all, make sure that the person is okay with talking about the subject, for example, you might say "do you mind if I ask you about...?"

    But, even if the time is right, we still need to choose our words carefully. We should make it clear that we are on their side and not trying to hurt them. Ajahn Brahm talks about the "sandwich method", where you offer a compliment about something you respect about the person first, then you offer the criticism, then another compliment. This is one way of deactivating the instinctive defense mechanism that is often triggered when hearing criticism.

    So, in a nutshell:

    1) When receiving criticism: listen, reflect, do something if necessary, don't let it upset you.

    2) When giving criticism: check intention, check for hypocrisy, check that it's the right time and that it's delivered in the right way.

    Also, another aspect that comes to mind regarding criticism is that sometimes a certain character trait which you might perceive as a flaw, someone else might perceive as a strength. What you might perceive as a strength, someone else might perceive as a flaw. For example, some people might perceive honesty, gentleness, kindness and generosity as signs of a "sucker" whereas a Buddhist perceives such traits as praiseworthy.

    Metta,

    Guy
  • NOTaGangstaNOTaGangsta
    Easy solution, just stop bagging other people. Then it stops the justification and self doubting whether it's "negative intention".
  • jgppjgpp
    @GuyC

    Very great post, thanks for sharing.



  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    Ever heard the term "constructive criticism"? Criticism given from a sincere desire to help someone, and when given using right speech, can have quite positive results. It's all in how the message is delivered, and the intent of the person delivering the message. Rather than thinking of it as "criticism", and the neg. baggage that tends to imply, think of it as "feedback". We all need realistic and thoughtful feedback from time to time.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    Often the person criticizing is not trying to hurt us. Rather criticism is their coping mechanism to deal with their own anxiety.
  • santhisouksanthisouk Veteran
    edited June 2011
    Often times people vent out words for no reason, and it does sound like criticsm. Ignore these.
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran
    Criticism is not always of a negative nature. One must always attempt to achieve tranquility of the mind. In so doing, one may take the opportunity to analyze any criticism and determine it's nature. After such analysis one can then decide if he should respond (rather than react), or not respond. Either way the answer lies within the tranquil mind.
    Namaste
    No, criticism is not always negative but most of the time it is. I also agree with those who posted that intent plays a big role in it. Sadly, my own experience has shown that many who criticise intend to be very hurtful. The only thing that I have found to be somewhat helpful is to try to see if the criticism is valid and helpful. If so, then I try to be gracious in accepting the criticism, even if I find my reaction is one of hurt. If there is nothing helpful in the criticism, I try to ignore it and understand the person's reason for acting the way they did.

    Not that it helps a lot :/ I'm still struggling with compassion in the face of attack, perceived or otherwise.

    In metta,
    Raven

  • lamaramadingdonglamaramadingdong Veteran
    If you know anything that is helpful and true, find the right time. Desist from impetuous speech. Think about it first, make sure that it will be helpful and that it is also true and the right time has come. The right time has come when the other person is agreeable to listening and in a peaceful frame of mind. It should be at a time when you have loving feelings for the other person. Use this whenever you want to tell others what they should and shouldn't do.

    The Buddha
  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    always do it with love. then you will always be safe.
  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    edited June 2011

    Is criticism inherently negative?
    Not at all.
    Can't one be critical without being "negative"?
    Of course.
    Depends on intention?
    Absolutely.
    Depends on established rapport?
    good point
    How the criticisms delivered?
    Definitely. (see "intent")
    Can criticism be healthy?
    Certainly. Quite helpful, if handled well.
    Such thing as playful criticism?
    Could be on shaky ground, here. Too easy for some people to try to hide cruel comments behind a smile or laugh.
    Thoughts?
    You got 'em! :)



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