Self-compassion

person

Dr. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor in Human Development and Culture at the University of Texas at Austin.
She has a book on the topic but here's a good article and a youtube video of the beginning of a lecture on the topic.

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/try_selfcompassion/

IronRabbit

This article is essentially the same material - about the same Dr. Kristin Neff's studies. This is remarkable information that, unfortunately hits the mark with very few who scan the general media for this type of info.

This is a behavioral crystallization of Gautama Buddha's teaching - mindfulness - common humanity - kindness. Important in the message is that self compassion does not eradicate self esteem - rather modifies it to an existent yet less important state.

Many struggle with the notion of self compassion when seen as narcissistic self importance - entitlement - self indulgence. HHDL says in his teachings that there is skillful and unskillful selfishness. This seems to be what he is pointing to.

Thanks to you, person for posting this - not surprising that no other comments have been posted. It is almost like the concept is a "no brainer" - but it is very important stuff.



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43025669/ns/health-behavior/

Vincenzi

the brahma vihara of karuna (compassion) starts with the meditator, extend to empathical beings, and then extends again to non-empathical beings.

buddhajunkie

There's another book that's more explicitly Buddhist, "The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions".

It is concise but very good. It is also available on Kindle.

I just got the Neff book (forward by Sharon Salzberg, a prominent U.S. Buddhist). Haven't finished yet but seems good.


Don't underestimate the importance of these books. Buddhism doesn't emphasize self-compassion enough, possibly because self-loathing and self-criticism was less prevalent in the Buddha's culture (it seemed inconceivable to HHDL). There are many good exercises and practices that are not covered by normal metta practice or any sutta that I am aware of. Thus, these books are huge contributions to modern Buddhist thought, imo.

person

I probably should have titled the thread self-compassion is better than self-esteem, thats really the essence of her research. It should also be noted that Dr. Neff is a Buddhist. Here's another short video of her on self-compassion vs. self-esteem.

AllbuddhaBound

The entire concept of self compassion is an epiphany of sorts. In the West, our deity has been self-esteem. The children in our schools are steeped in the belief that winner takes all, and if you are not bright enough, thin enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, popular enough or athletic enough, you are a loser. Most young people find themselves in this loser category in a number of areas mentioned here. You can be quite brilliant in one area and lacking in another. Depending on your personal traits, you may choose to be quite hard on yourself. When things are going wrong, it can be simple to default to negativity. It can be simple to focus on our faults rather than recognizing that our being has value even when we make mistakes.

The secret contained in Dr. Neff's book is to be accepting of yourself, warts and all. What a concept. Recognizing that you don't have to win every time in order to have any value is a startling idea in this culture we live in, but it is an extremely powerful and uplifting way for people to live.

Get ready for a change folks. A lot of the assumptions we have made about self and values will change stemming from the work of researchers like Dr. Neff. The realm of psychology is about to be introduced to effective, up to date research and age-old traditions such as Buddhism.