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Random Pity
ThailandTom
Veteran
This is quite hard to explain as I have thought about it for the past few days and find it hard to put into words. I have sometime been observing people on either TV or in everyday life and sometimes get this feeling of pity or sadness for them. Now, it can happen for people who do not appear to be in any distress or suffering. For example if I see somebody selling fruit on the street I may look into their eyes and see that they are stuck with this repetitive job daily. They may like their job and or their life, but I still fell the same. Another example is quite silly maybe, I saw on the news briefly today an incident with the French president who was yanked by a member of the public. I saw a look on his old, aging face and I got the same feeling. It lead me to remember of all the harsh words he has been given by the French public. It may seem trivial but it really does make me sad for a while, all of these situations and I know deep down they are more often than not pretty silly. Has anybody else had something similar or am I being a fool...
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Comments
@ThailandTom, I get that about some of your posts!:P
@ThailandTom, buddy, I was joking! That's what this,
xx
So I think I know what you're saying, Tom. I guess as long as we don't let these feelings make us depressed or somehow interfere with working on metta (just due to being overwhelmed with pity), these experiences can be very instructive.
I guess my point is that I'm seeing the world as it probably really is rather than the relatively nice and comfortable middle-class American life I had before. Maybe that's what's happening to you, Tom. I suppose this is where we consider these people as buddhas or bodhisattvas that are teaching us.
I'm glad you're back and I'm glad you're healthy, Tom. I suppose that as long as these feelings pass enough to not upset your practice, then they're very instructive, because that's how the mass of humanity lives. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be a street vendor in Thailand.
namaste
hey thanks sherab. i myself also watch a lot of educational documentaries, daily. i have realised that this overall feeling does not get me too depressed and if i am sad due to it, it is not for too long. i guess you can breed a strong sense of compassion from such things. i was watching some you tube videos the other day, and in the comments it was all insults for no reason at all. racist, sexist, sick and twisted slants on a 'conversation', but i guess they are merely ignorant.
another side to this feeling is that sometimes when i look around i lose faith for a moment in the human race. i see how fragile we are and yet we consider ourselves so superior and invincible.
it is good to be back, still clearing the fog and everything seems to have slowed down by 50%. all of the physical pains have gone and i have gotten over the seizure i had. that was the turning point, my rock bottom.
So I know we emphasize the interconnectness of all beings however we also have the middle way to balance this. One way i get handle getting overwhelmed with it all is to remind myself that we are very sturdy overall. Individuals are fragile, that isolated person or a homeless one on the street are very vulnerable. However overall we keep on going, surviving, and even increasing despite disasters, disease and war. And even in the worst controlling situations there are still people driven to do what is right. I think we need to know the bad things we are capable of as humans, and make sure we balance that with the amazing compassion we are capable of.
sometimes, it cannot be helped. if someone i don't know is rude to me in public, i may think, "if this person responds to me in this way, what must the rest of their life be like!? they must suffer a great deal." but with this thought sometimes comes the feeling of pride. it makes me feel better to think that my life is better and they suffer as a result of their rudeness (or their rudeness is a result of their suffering). either way, i try not to focus on these emotions. pity sometimes feels like compassion, but it is not actually helpful. most people don't like to be pitied. if someone is not giving you an opportunity for compassion (as in, they aren't specifically asking for help), i would try not to focus on pitying them. there is no need.
for the record, i think your first example of the person selling fruit on the street sounds more like pity. but i think the example of the french president sounds more like compassion.
congrats on the 32 days tom!
Hey thanks zombiegirl. I think I shall examine these feelings for sometime to find out how I truly react to the situation, maybe it is pity some of the time but I cannot be sure of now. I mean with the guy selling fruit, I don't think I feel good for having a slightly better life, I feel sad when I see his face and cart of fruit being pulled along by frail hands. I kind of feel guilty. But I am sure we all have our problems do we not, that is life.
Wow 32 days. Congrats! Has your meditation practice helped in this process?
As we begin to awaken and see self delusion resulting from conditioned existence for the non-sense that it is, we begin to free ourselves from the grip of clinging.
Something else interesting happens also. Without the illusion of separation, compassion naturally occurs. Others can become a mirror for our own suffering. Compassion needs to be balanced with wisdom which is what equanimity is all about.
Best Wishes