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how can you still like yourself or have a sense of self and if you get rid of your ego,
How can you be happy about yourself if you get rid of your ego. What is the benefit. Is it a different type of happiness.
What about feeling good about accomplishing things or recognition for doing something good. Isn't that just feeding your ego?
What about feeling good about accomplishing things or recognition for doing something good. Isn't that just feeding your ego?
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when ego is reduced your feelings flow. you might feel a burst of pride but you don't take it seriously. you don't grasp the pride such that you become angry when someone sticks a pin in it. even non-buddhists have let go of their ego to varying degrees!
My brother's heartbreak was much more crippling than it ever should have been. But it only continued to bring him endless despair and depression. For some reason, people associate emotion with importance. Like: "I'm so sad, that means this person is important to me. I don't think I can ever be happy again because they meant so much". I think that is a bit foolish.
The point is not to get rid of the ego or self, but to see its inherent emptiness as a true phenomenon and that it is a process or vehicle that is necessary to interact with the world. Then positive emotions such as satisfaction or happiness become more like something you describe, something that we experience but do not own and are not something we should cling to. The ego becomes more relaxed about these things because of their transient nature and the transient nature of the ego or self.
Today, it's a lot of years later and I don't have any cap guns. Nor do I want any. But cap guns haven't disappeared from my life. They have simply taken on another perspective. I don't look down on or elevate cap guns ... they just aren't very important or credible to me. But it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to convince a kid in the throes of loving cap pistols that his perspective was off. That would be like trying to convince a fish that breathing air was a perfectly good way to stay alive. No fish in his right mind is going to believe that nonsense.
Meditation with its attention and responsibility is a good way to investigate the world of cap pistols, the world of the ego. It's not a question of whether cap pistols or the ego are good or bad, right or wrong. It's just a question of how well they stand up to scrutiny -- how true are they and what legitimate use they have? Cap pistols and egos don't need to be eradicated or consigned to some deep pit. They're always going to be around. But their usefulness and truth is likely to shift with a little practice.
Spiny
Shortest post and one of the best
I have 2 friends with a great deal of musical talent. They are both very nice women, very involved with charitable community work. They both taught their children music. One is a Buddhist practitioner, the other a Christian practitioner.
The Buddhist practitioner endeavored to teach her children music while practicing devotedly to rid herself of ego attachment to the endeavor. She explained to her children that they had musical talent worthy of dedication and development. She gave Buddhist instruction on the importance of ridding oneself of ego attachment, particularly when performing in front of others. Music must be intended with right intention, as a blessing upon the audience! There may be people in the audience who do not like the music, but we bless them nonetheless! One never knows what physical pain or problems they might have. In some former life they may even have been barbarians, and so abusive comments hurled at performers without physically throwing spears and killing anyone in this life may represent tremendous progress for them on their path, one just never knows! Music is performed as a blessing for all sentient beings and all wandering ghosts, and nothing else matters! No ego attachment!
The Christian practitioner endeavored to teach her children music while practicing devotedly her Christianity and explaining to her children that they had musical talent worthy of dedication and development. She gave Christian instruction that the music they would perform was for the inspiration of the audience (their church) and the proclamation of the glory of God. It was therefore vitally important that the music be pleasing to the audience and to God. If the audience is not pleased, it means we did not perform well enough and performing well is about proclaiming the glory of God. It was vitally important not to embarrass themselves or their mother (their teacher) by performing badly in front of their assembled church, because such would bring shame and disgrace upon themselves, their mother, their church, and their God.
With ego attachment:
The child nervously faces the audience like a condemned prisoner up against the wall waiting to be shot, mentally replaying:
1: the ego attachment of the mother (you're MY children, your performance is a reflection (extension?) of ME! You had better not embarrass ME!
Particularly in front of all MY friends... or you'll be hearing about it into the next century!) If I don't perform well, Mom won't love me!
2: the ego attachment to himself (if I don't perform perfectly, I will bring the disfavor of the audience and shame down upon my head, indicating that I am not only an embarrassment to my mother, but an embarrassment to myself and to the community, and probably to the entire world.) If I don't perform well, everybody in the whole world will laugh at me and reject me and humiliate me; I will be an unlovable, unwanted person!
3: the ego attachment to his spirituality (my music is supposed to reflect and proclaim the glory of God... and God will send me to hell because I sneaked out to play ball with the guys and told Mom that of course I was practicing while she was out...) If I don't perform well, everybody will know that I lied about practicing and I failed God and deserve to go to hell!
Without ego attachment:
The child faces the audience preparing to bless them all, even the wandering ghosts, and nothing else matters...
not even the jerks over in the corner making faces, because, after all, they might have been barbarians in the last lifetime and that is as close to being polite as they can possibly manage so far in this lifetime.
Guess which mother's children grew up to perform all over the world and win a Grammy Award and don't regard it as a big deal, and which mother's children grew up and when they do perform (performing is a big deal) seem oddly stiff and mechanical and rather like condemned prisoners up against a wall.
What's the difference?
Ego attachment.
We have a joyous bouyancy when we watch the favorable and unfavorable pass by without making a big deal. The joy isn't the same "happy" as much as it is an alert, peaceful confidence.
As far as feeling good for doing good work, that's normal. Eventually, we can do good deeds just because they are the right thing. That doesn't come until we are bountiful enough to shed the training wheels and take off doing good for the sake of the whole. Like a plane gathering speed down a runway so it can fly.
So, we do good works, because it is right action for the whole, and they bring inner joy.
You don't get rid of the ego, you just realise that you are not the ego.
I agree
HH Dalai Lama says we have to use our egos in the right way (we need egos to function in the World). HH DL says to use the ego like this:
He thumps his chest with his fist and strongly says, "I will take on all the suffering of the World upon myself".
See what he did there? (There is a good youtube clip of this talk, but I can't find it; if anyone knows which one it is; I'd love the link; thanks.) It's about using your ego as a tool, and not being used by your ego so that you are a 'tool'.