Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
being attached to expectations, not just the big stuff
I am on vacation with extended family which is always interesting. Since I am fairly new here I will provide the statistics, I am a 44 yo single mom with kids 14, 17 and 20. I brought my younger 2 from Colorado to South Haven MI to meet up with my parents and my sister and her family (nephews are 6 and 8, and her hubby). We have a pretty nice family overall, no major drama or bad behavior so that is very good.
My mom is a very typical of her generation and midwest area, I am the free spirit of the family to say the least. They have actually done a great job getting used to some of what I do like meditating. However I have noticed (with compassion and not judgement, sometime internet communication does express well) that the idea of expectation and attachment is rampant and interesting. So a typical conversation with my mom is fraught with expectation and although it is not a conflicted situation but it is fascinating. She will call and does not ever leave an open ended question, so it will be "hi, are you in the car or at home?" she is really good at saying 2 things that are both not true. Today I came back from the beach to make a couple sandwiches and it is another one. I think it is not conflicted because I do not react, however she asked me what I was looking for in the fridge, then told me wher lettuce is and then got out the lettuce and then pointed out another thing, and then asked me again how many chips i wanted, oh dear. Like I mentioned I am 44 and have not lived with her since 18 so I am really capable of making a sandwich, but she is really attached to her idea of what kind of mom/grandma she needs to be. That includes fixing every bite of food for everyone.
It is just interesting, that many people have expectations and how that is shown with my mother in having all conversations where she gives choices but can not handle free floating open ended questions. Hmmm
My mom is a very typical of her generation and midwest area, I am the free spirit of the family to say the least. They have actually done a great job getting used to some of what I do like meditating. However I have noticed (with compassion and not judgement, sometime internet communication does express well) that the idea of expectation and attachment is rampant and interesting. So a typical conversation with my mom is fraught with expectation and although it is not a conflicted situation but it is fascinating. She will call and does not ever leave an open ended question, so it will be "hi, are you in the car or at home?" she is really good at saying 2 things that are both not true. Today I came back from the beach to make a couple sandwiches and it is another one. I think it is not conflicted because I do not react, however she asked me what I was looking for in the fridge, then told me wher lettuce is and then got out the lettuce and then pointed out another thing, and then asked me again how many chips i wanted, oh dear. Like I mentioned I am 44 and have not lived with her since 18 so I am really capable of making a sandwich, but she is really attached to her idea of what kind of mom/grandma she needs to be. That includes fixing every bite of food for everyone.
It is just interesting, that many people have expectations and how that is shown with my mother in having all conversations where she gives choices but can not handle free floating open ended questions. Hmmm
0
Comments
Just be patient and continue being compassionate.
I am in the same boat with my grandparents and my parents.
However, I am 26. Lol.