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How to deal with people who drag you down?
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It's good to be aware of what you want. What you like, and be able to say yeah you know that works for you, but it doesn't work for me. By being able to know what works for you and who you are it will be a lot harder to drag you down. You can always make humor of it too.
Making humor of a bad situation like someone trying to drag you down can turn it around and makes you look clever. Of course you could always ignore them too. Just don't say anything at all and continue on. That silence might make them realize what they're doing and make them stop. It really depends on the person which method would work best. So there are several different methods.
Sometimes things can indeed be pretty hard. But hard or easy, still the question that needs to be answered is, "What are you prepared to do about it?"
Could you please be a bit more specific?
Is this person a family member? friend? colleague? Or do you just want to know how to handle difficult people in general?
Metta,
Guy
it is your projection and your interpretation which creates the notion of the "other" which brings you down.
change how you view them. practice mindfulness and compassion. change your vibrancy and the world changes with you.
it is that simple. no complicated 10 step program. the people around you don't have to change, nor should they.
just you.
Use the Buddha's wisdom to your advantage. The Buddha teaches that the mind and all of it's perceptions, habits, inclinations are impermanent and not-self. This is great news! If our habits were "who we really are" then we'd be stuffed! Fortunately our habits are not our "true self"; they are just impermanent phenomena which have arisen due to the necessary causes and conditions which have brought them about.
Have the intention "I want to be kinder, more patient and more tolerant of other people. I want to give up the habit of irritability."
As Seeker has suggested, cultivate Metta. Metta is a great antidote to irritability.
Be mindful of the mind as it moves from a non-irritable state to an irritable state. You cannot be irritable 24 hours a day! You already know that it is other people who trigger your irritability, that's a good start, this shows that you at least have some degree of mindfulness. Now continue to watch your mind and find out what, specifically, is it that other people say or do which makes you irritated? Continue to observe your mind. Observe cause and effect taking place.
Metta,
Guy
Dont get me wrong......we are discussing Buddhism not current world .....I am full of rubbish
Just take a breath and be mindfully present. This takes forbearance until the bond, or lack of, becomes the compassion that possess us. This is the simplicity that is the source of our being. "When we decide to be present, then just be present."
Forbearance is in our will to be as a witness to the draining manner until the simplicity to name the game becomes the source of our ability to be understanding towards each other and ourselves. Being has it in the heart that joy comes from approving of who we already are together. The acceptance of our limits is also found during forbearance. =-D
Consequently, if avoided after having named the "game", then there is no fulfillment, yet. Still, a compassionate heart releases everyone until fulfillment is found from within each individual; on the other hand, if we have contemplated and returned grateful to each other then that is a supreme blessing of mindfulness that is being shared. Either way, compassion will benefit the purpose of joy for both sides in different ways in the end. From the bigger picture, it is a win win! LOL!