Creep

Zelkova

I've been feeling pretty down lately. I have a lot of friends but I'm not close to them. As soon as I go to hang out with them I immediately want to go home. I wasn't always like this though. It all started after this last Christmas break when I stopped seeing my unrequited love. My life just does not feel right. I feel so unaware of things. Like I have an idea of who I am but it all seems like a dream. I just wanted some advice from a Buddhist point-of-view. I have a pretty good basic understanding but I really want to get my life back on track. Can anybody give me some advice? And the reason that the title of this thread is because I feel exactly the way the song Creep by Radiohead describes.

Zelkova

Mr_Serenity

You may need to make some new friends? Have you asked yourself if it's them that is the problem and not really you? Sometimes we outgrow particular friends. We just change/grow so much that they become distant with us. Often the friends you keep are a lot like you in some sort of way.

Also sometimes when shit hits the fan, like you suffer a big loss you learn who your real friends are. And then the ones that were weak to begin with distant themselves from you. When that happens it's good, because then you see who your real friends are, and that may even mean you have to make all new friends. For every friend you lose you can always make a better one.

That's not to say that you don't already have relationships that could be mended though. Friendships take maintenance to keep up. If there are any friends you still care about you should try talking to them every now and then, and see if its possible to make that bond strong again.

Don't depend on friends for your happiness though. You also have to know what *you want. You have to have things that make you happy by yourself. By strengthening your own resolve, having your own passions it will make you more infectious for people to want to hang out with and to be around. It will give you more to talk about etc.

SimpleWitness

@Zelkova


Creeps, Freaks, and Weirdos are nominally symbolic delusions that arise from the thoughts of self and others, especially when there is another who's bond is thought lost. Often self is self loathing for the sake of its own self inflicted retribution. It is possible that self inflicted punishment is the attachment to the guilt for growing thirstier to leave the dance of the mainstream world. If this be the case, it is easily related to by many in this forum. Does this place them in the shoe-box, labeled as "Creeps, Freaks, and Weirdos" also? These labels are neither your self nor the other.

This will not be said enough:
Be as open as receptivity to the way of what is thought lost is really transformed by means of impermanence. Just sit and be as a witness to what is happening on the screen of the mind until compassion provides the understanding of it. You are gaining the sight of how this universe feels to you. This is all part of mindfulness and awareness. It has been echoed, even from this forum, "as impermanence is permanence, so, permanence is impermanent.

Perhaps it would bode well to refrain from being attached to a bond thought lost and try the above instead.

Blessings of Deep Peace and Compassion to you, Zelkova:

SimpleWitness

aMatt

Can anybody give me some advice? And the reason that the title of this thread is because I feel exactly the way the song Creep by Radiohead describes.

Zelkova,

Do you meditate? To me, it sounds like you might be self critical and disillusioned with the bullcrap of the world. (Based on my understanding of Creep and your words). That is ok though, its not that tough to fix!

When you notice thoughts like "the world is blah" or "I want a perfect body" or "I want a perfect soul" just let them fly past like letting go of the string of a kite. They only keep flying if you hang on to them. Instead, breathe, feel the breath and move your mind away from clinging to the words and feelings that come up.

There are lots of resources for beginning a meditation practice. A local sangha would be awesome. Ajahn Jayasaro has a great intro series on youtube. There are skilled meditators around here if you have questions.

With warmth,

Matt

genkaku

If you really want to correct things -- as opposed to secretly enjoying your discomforts -- then you will have to slow down enough to assess what the problem is.

Meditation, as Matt suggests, is a good tool.

SimpleWitness

@Zelkova ⁠

What Matt and genkaku are both saying is the most agreeable.

Just Meditate; Just sit and be as a witness, listen, dismiss attachments to the rising and falling of thought, things, and that which I identifies the self.

There is no requirement to be Buddhist to do this.

@aMatt and @genkaku

Thank you for that suggestion. That should have been the first thing to mention. My apologies for seeming so gabby.

Respectfully, to all three of you:
SimpleWitness

Zelkova

Thank you guys for your advice. I will try a meditation practice.

Thank you all,
Zelkova

Jeffrey

Thanks for listing that song. I haven't heard that in a long while and I needed to let loose into music. Peace.

Zelkova

@Jeffrey I understand. Music is the easiest way for me to express my feelings.