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Lots of people on right now
Talisman
Veteran
Hello everybody. How's everyone doing today? I'm sleepy at my desk at work. I'm excited to visit a therapist for the first time tomorrow. I hope it goes well.
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Semi freaking out and semi excited.
Time to breathe.
What kind of job?
@pain
Anything you would like to talk about? I'd be happy to help if I can
@tamm
Thanks, thats good to hear you're studies are going well :clap:
@talisman what do you do for work?
I'm a debt collector for medical bills. I mostly take inbound calls in a "precollections" capacity for a DME provider. It's ... paying the bills. lol I look forward to getting back to school in January. I'm going to be studying psychology, with minors in literature and philosophy.
How about you?
I work with a piece of software (HP Service Manager) that large corporations use to track their IT infrastructure. It encompasses help desk tickets and the complex lifecycle they go through. I help install, upgrade, customize, and maintain the software. Its a good job and I love the company for which I work, but I work mainly with large banks, insurance companies, etc. I get to work from home, with limited travel; however, I would prefer to be helping people rather than helping corporations continue their destruction of this country.
I have just been feeling rather lost lately. I feel like I am in that weird Lazarus stage between nihilism and not.
DME = durable medical equipment. Specifically its at-home rental of medical equipment.
I plan on going for secondary education and/or clinical psychology. I want to get my PhD.
An IT job would be pretty awesome, I have a second job working as assistant to the director of technology at a primarily immigrant public school system. It's a lot better than my day job because I get to be on my feet a lot and meet with teachers and students during the day. You shouldn't feel guilty about working with the companies you do. Most of the time it is beyond one's control.
It's too bad your feeling lost. I have actually been feeling that way as well lately. What kind nihilist views are you struggling with?
I know I shouldn't feel bad about for who I am working, I guess I am just thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
Well I have always struggled with nihilism since I was a teenager, but these days it doesn't feel as negative as it did previously. I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I am wondering around in a daze. I am fighting with myself about stress. For example, I had debt. I want to get rid of that debt as soon as possible, but it can be tough when there are other expenses that keep rising. I try to remind myself that all I can do is what I can do at that moment. I say, what is the worst that can happen? I guess I haven't really been able to translate my buddhist practice to my work life. I hold myself to a very high standard and as a result get extremely stressed. Nobody is going to die if I don't meet a deadline, but I feel like if I say I am going to do something, I should be true to my word.
hmmm I just had a thought. Lately I have been struggling with motivation. The only way that I know how to overcome it, is to just force myself to start working. Once I get into the groove of things, I can get quite a bit accomplished. I tend to get stuck in what I call task saturation. Where I feel like I have so much to do, that I don't want to do any of it. I think the not wanting to do any of it, has bled out into the rest of my life. So rather than not working and having fun... i am not working and feeling stressed I am not working. haha.
What have you been feeling lost?
I don't want to hijack the thread but I am also curious where you guys from?I am in toronto, canada.
I'm most interested in the scientific aspect of behavioral studies as well as determining methods for helping others deal with stress and anxiety in healthier and more productive ways. I feel like I have a natural understanding of the behavior of others and want to learn more from a technical standpoint. I want the education first, then I will work out what I can do with that education along the way.
I have been feeling similar to the way you are describing, mostly because I have been trying to do so much. Working 2 jobs, paying back my university in order to get back to school by january, saving for a new apartment with my girlfriend, paying for repairs and maintenance for our car, and on top of it dealing with the stresses of sharing a house with my self-loathing nihilist brother while still trying to maintain a level of intimacy with my girlfriend.
When things seem overbearing, I take refuge. Not that I pray or meditate or anything like that. I have faith in the fact that because I am working hard to do good things for myself and others, because I am slowly starting to change my habits, because I am trying to create positive change in myself, because I trust the dharma and do my best to incorporate its teachings into my life good things will come. Happy birth.
What more could I really do except try to be a good person? Honestly, if I stress out, then I'm stressing about things that are impermanent and about situations brought about as fruition of my karma. I am the heir to the frution of no one's actions but my own. If I work hard and treat others with kindness, things can only get better.
Overall I'm feeling very "okay". Pretty much that state of life passing by without any serious implications or memories. I know I should be striving to make each day worth living. But it's just passing by right now. I'm not happy or sad. Just grooving along.
I suppose my only frustrations are finance based and material based. I try not to get too caught up in these. I am trying to budget my refund money for the rest of the semester, but I'd also like to change my cell-phone (would be full-price
Felt my first ever "tremor" from the earthquake in Virginia. It was very minor and I'm sure that west-coasters would laugh it off. It felt like the dog was laying against the bed scratching its ears, :P
How's the job market out west? I was born in Santa Barbara and really want to get back out there within the next 5 years or so.
@zen_world
That's awesome. I would love to see some concerts in Toronto. They have some very cool venues.
I remember having class schedules like that my freshman and sophomore years. It ended up burning me out pretty bad. I'm gonna have to be careful with my classes come January, especially working 32 hours a week.
What are you studying?
I still haven't figured out what I want to do yet. Grad school or straight to job market. Typically, industrial engineers don't have a lot of difficulty finding jobs and I already have 2 internships of experience in my field. I want to do more consulting because I really enjoyed the travel, benefits, pay, culture, knowledge, and experience. However, the company I consulted with never got back with me. They acted semi-interested. It's difficult to gauge a company's intentions. Were they being cordial or being serious? Haha, it's hard to tell.
I thought about doing psychology, and I looked into it my freshman year. I just wasn't sure I'd be able to listen to others' problems all day. I hope your future studies go well.
Keep in mind, typically entry level positions are actually easier to get with only a bachelors. Many times graduate students are considered "over-qualified."
I'm also in this very awkward situation with another person in class who makes me really self-conscious and... awkward.
I'm also pushing myself to get involved in different activities / clubs since it looks good on the resume... but I really don't feel like dealing with crowds of people right now.
I wish I could just take online courses.
Have you had a chance to speak with a proffessional at all about your social anxiety? Sometimes therapy or even anti-anxiety medications can help people more comfortabel in crowded or stressful environments.
What kind of "awkward" situation are you in with this classmate? Is it an "ex" kind of situation?
I can relate to you feeling overwhelmed with trying to do lots of things at once. If things are too much to handle it would probably be best to back off a bit. I tried doing so much all at once when I was into my first couple of years in college that I ended up burning out and dropping out of school. Take it easy and don't push yourself too hard.