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What does Buddhism say about Guilt?
I am new to Buddhism and meditation. I am going through a very difficult part in my life. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past. I have this overwhelming guilt that is tearing me apart. I have asked for forgiveness and received it, but I can not shake this overwhelming guilt.
I know that nothing I can do can change the past. How can Buddhism help me reconcile my guilt to move forward.
I know that nothing I can do can change the past. How can Buddhism help me reconcile my guilt to move forward.
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There are merely good (or helpful) actions and bad (not helpful) actions.
There is no “me” doing the actions; there are just impersonal processes.
The Buddhist response to guilt – in short – is that it is part of the self-delusion which causes much of your suffering; one way or the other.
People who feel great about themselves have the same problem with a different color.
Focus on where you are now--you've made some changes in your life, you're in the process of getting yourself onto a better track, that's the important thing. And in the future you can do many good works, many compassionate things. Focus on the potential you have to change things around and start a new chapter in your life. And if at some point you join a buddhist community, a study group, a sangha, you can ask the monk, lama, roshi, whoever, to do a purification ceremony, (I don't know if all the traditions have this, but I imagine they do in some form) which consists of a confession on your part, and then the monk gives you a blessing or whatever the specific procedure it. In any case, it's about heartfelt remorse, and then cleansing the spirit so you can begin anew, rather than dwelling on the past, and beating yourself up about the past, which isn't at all constructive, see?
I hope this helps somewhat. Buddhism is about using the mind, it's partly a discipline of the mind. You're using your mind to torture yourself, but that's a choice, not a lifelong sentence. You can choose to look forward, not back, and put your skills and your heart into constructive pursuits.
Guilt can be an excuse for not taking action. When you take action, you'll move that energy that's creating guilt, and give it a positive, constructive outlet. It can be healing for all parties involved.
Do you feel guilty when you laugh?
Do you feel guilty when the wet coolness of a much-needed glass of water slides over your tongue and down your throat?
All of these things and more like them tell us that what we regret is limited whereas what we live is not. Meditation -- paying close attention and actually seeing what happens -- brings us bit by bit into what might be called sneeze mode or laugh mode ... the present is inescapable so trying to escape doesn't make much sense. No one lives without regret, but what they do with it varies.
I can respect the struggle you're facing. As we become more well intentioned, we can see how stupidly we've acted in the past, and how mistakes we have made hurt ourselves and others. Have you made mistakes? Yes, you have! So what can we do differently with that understanding?
Buddha taught that ignorance is a quality we have from birth. As babies, we don't know what to do, how to do anything, and have the task of learning how to make sense of the environment we're in. Usually, we don't have perfect teachers either, making our struggles with ignorance even more difficult.
This makes it foolish to fault ourselves or others for mistakes. The sense of guilt is baggage, pointless, and is suffering. We stub our toe on the couch, scream in pain, blame the couch... then facepalm and get back to the practice. We had enough pain already! What point is there in feeling guilty about being unskillful? That's why its called a buddhist practice, because we all make mistakes and are foolish sometimes.
Do your best here and now, that's plenty enough. Its good to reflect on where we have acted unskillfuly, because we can learn what do do better. Guilt will only cloud your mind and heart from acting on those lessons you've learned. You have learned, right? Then let go!
Also, if you do some metta practice, it can make the painful sensations in your body from the guilt less potent.
With warmth,
Matt
the Buddha taught the "doer" of harmful action is ignorance or not-knowing
the Buddha taught each realisation of & subsequent restraint towards harmful actions is a step in growth on the spiritual path
please read the quotes below with due care so the Buddha's enlightened attitude towards this matter can be learned & adopted
kind regards
DD
Because of impermanence the past is dead and gone and cannot be changed. In a misguided attempt to even the score we punish ourselves with guilt.
You said that others have forgiven you for some of your past actions (karma) done out of ignorance (Wrong View) that caused them harm.
That is good for them. Now you need to do the same, forgive yourself and let go of this suffering you are creating.
I might suggest metta become a focus of your meditation practice and kindness and forgiveness be the thought that you concentrate on each time you become aware of obsessive feelings of guilt arise.
Off the cushion try to do less harm in the only place that is real. Right Now. Even a kind word, a smile, or some little selfless act of generosity helps.
Best Wishes
I've also suffered with a lot of guilt; I really used to beat myself up about abandoning a wife and two children; even my own mother disowned me. I've hurt a lot of people (I'm a recovered alkie) during my drinking days. Guilt just paralysed me - it's a very selfish emotion into drinking more; it wasn't a useful emotion(poor me, me, me, me, pour me another drink).
Regret can be useful motivator however.