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Piece of advise needed here...

GrainGrain
edited October 2011 in Buddhism Basics
Hello dear people!
After two years of contemplating onto the ideas of Buddhism, I'm afraid I've fallen into the trap of "obsessionally" desiring not to desire. I've come to the point where I feel that I don't desire anything worldly but I'm not sure whether this feeling emanates naturally or it's the result of repulsion. Meanwhile, I feel extremely stressed and I'm desperately seeking for change but, since I desire nothing, I don't have the slightest idea about how I could expand myself or which direction my life should follow. :\

Comments

  • GuyCGuyC Veteran
    edited October 2011
    Hi Grain,

    It sounds like confusion is a bigger issue for you than desire/no desire. If you are "desperately seeking for change", then you do not "desire nothing", you desire change.

    Change will come, no matter what, it is the nature of this world. Our bodies change, our minds change, the issues that we have to deal with in life change. The good news is that, with Right Effort, we can guide that change in a wholesome direction.

    If you are "desperately seeking for change", I assume you mean "desperately seeking for a positive change", if so, this is "good" (good, at least, as far as desperation goes).

    Desperation is not a state you want to stay in for too long. The reason you are in this state of desperation in the first place is because of confusion.

    Confusion is suffering. Do you want to end confusion? If you do, then you must also want to end suffering. Wanting to end suffering is a type of desire which is potentially useful, because it can lead us to practice the Dhamma and make an end to suffering.

    My advice:

    1) Learn what about the Buddha and what he taught (The Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path). Here's a couple of links to get you started: About the Buddha and His Teachings.

    2) Put those teachings into practice

    3) Make an end to desire, confusion and suffering

    Kind regards,

    Guy
  • ToshTosh Veteran
    Hi Grain, some attachments (desires) are healthy to have; one that you have is the desire to change. Now, truth should always be positive, never negative; so if you're feeling stressed, after contemplating (and I assume you mean learning/practising Buddhism), then you've somehow gotten the wrong end of the stick.

    Why not also try some drop in meditation classes at a local Buddhist centre; I'm pretty sure most do this sort of thing.
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    It is good to notice that desire/attachment creates problems -- a very good step. But that step finds no fruition without action. Just whipping yourself into a particular point of view is hardly much different from the points of view held before you acknowledged that desire and attachment caused problems. Don't worry ... you have lots of company. :)

    The easiest way to put experience on the bone of belief and hope is to practice some meditation. Just find a practice and practice it and see what actually happens. Meditation ends the emotional and intellectual wars and puts people on a less uncertain footing.

    Best wishes.
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    edited October 2011
    I'm afraid I've fallen into the trap of "obsessionally" desiring not to desire.
    In addition to Guy's skillful advice, it might also be helpful to recognize how much fear you have of desiring. As you develop along the path, it is good to have desire, because it is what fuels our development along the eight fold path.

    It seems to me that your fear is that you have unwholesome desire. That fear will erode naturally as you learn how to develop ethically and skillfully. Its ok to relax and simply start to decide what you're really looking for!
  • possibilitiespossibilities PNW, WA State Veteran
    It's perfectly OK to desire what sustains you - physically and mentally. Don't go hungry and don't fret :-) -- keep yourself occupied by serving your community directly or indirectly.
    Even Buddha figured that the 'no desires' approach didn't work: he began to eat again, accepted society again and lived to teach.
  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    It's perfectly OK to desire what sustains you - physically and mentally. Don't go hungry and don't fret :-) -- keep yourself occupied by serving your community directly or indirectly.
    Even Buddha figured that the 'no desires' approach didn't work: he began to eat again, accepted society again and lived to teach.
    what this guy/gal said.

    live life then you'll know what you need to do for yourself and other. go experience it.
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