I need some help, What would you do if you were living in solitude 4 2 years then needed a job?

BeachHouseGuy

I haven't been part of a social group in 2 years, I have just been living by myself, and am nervous for an interview, and after being hired, making conversation to fit in, I have a feeling that when I'm in that lunch room the first day, I will only have something bizarre to say, and make a spectacle out of myself, continuously.. :S.

bodhipunk

Don't worry about it. Get a job. Sure, you'll be nervous at first - but that's completely normal. Don't try too hard to fit in. Act casual. It's obvious that you haven't had a job for very long if you're worried about saying something bizarre and making a spectacle out of yourself. People do that on a daily basis, pretty much making a sport out of it, at most of the places I've ever worked. It happens. Don't sweat it.

Hanzze

No need to fear. When I was a child, a teacher gave us an good advice. If you fear others in the way "I am nothing" or "he is much bigger as me", just try to see them naked. *smile*
After getting rid of fear, just stay honest and straight. Nothing to loose and good people like honesty more. You wouldn't like to work for or with not so good people.

taiyaki

just do it.

Mountains

I haven't been part of a social group in 2 years, I have just been living by myself, and am nervous for an interview, and after being hired, making conversation to fit in, I have a feeling that when I'm in that lunch room the first day, I will only have something bizarre to say, and make a spectacle out of myself, continuously.. :S.

You can't live your life by "what if?" That's nothing but fear. We can all make spectacles of ourselves sometimes - we're just humans after all. Be confident, go forward, and do what you want to do... You'll be fine

ajnast4r

i was secluded for many years, i understand how you're feeling about having to go back into awkward social situations.

the anxiety over doing these things is always worse than actually doing them... the best way to combat anxiety, in my experience, is to establish mindfulness and watch the feelings and thoughts. this in and of itself will weaken the emotions grip on you and allow you to see their anicca and anatta. make a meditation out of this PRIOR to doing the actual interview or social situation if possible.

that being said you must accept that its normal to feel like this in these situations... the more you come to terms with that and stop creating thoughts/feelings of aversion towards those situations, and the thoughts aroused by those situations, the less crappy those situations will be.

hope that helps

Tosh

I haven't been part of a social group in 2 years, I have just been living by myself, and am nervous for an interview, and after being hired, making conversation to fit in, I have a feeling that when I'm in that lunch room the first day, I will only have something bizarre to say, and make a spectacle out of myself, continuously.. :S.

Well, you've been hired, so the person who hired you thought that not only can you do the job, but that you'll fit in with the other employees; otherwise they wouldn't have hired you.

Why not find a little confidence in that?

Also, you're new, so just ask questions. Where's the coffee, who does this, who does that, how does this work, etc.

You'll be fine.

Tosh

Can I ask if you're a member of a Sanger? They're safe places to meet people and make friends (and learn dharma), and it may help you gain some confidence to overcome your shyness.

Just a thought.

aura

You are the great blessing that has come to this place and time
for the benefit of yourself and for all sentient beings.
You have come to promote learning, growth, healing and release of all karmic issues: your own, and everyone else's.
Simply offer metta, blessing all who cross your path.
You will be magnificent.

BeachHouseGuy

Thanks to all of you, helped a lot

Jeffrey

Gls, your not the only one in this situation. I feel the same way.