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Having trouble meditating?

edited March 2006 in Buddhism Basics
Well I know most of us non-masters have plenty of trouble with this, even the more experienced who still need to make an effort to calm and centre themselves in the beginning (and during, at least for me). After all, there's all the distractions we hold in common. Monkey mind, crazy legs, dirty dishes, television, music, the radioactive monkey you still haven't removed from your attic.... but anyway, today I just discovered a very real and practical way of making it much easier to meditate.

Since i'm sick right now, I've been somewhat chilly and full of muscle aches, and so I decieded to take a nice hot bath which always makes me feel better when I'm sick (keep that in mind too ;) ) . When you lay there for a while, totally relax everything and just let the heat soak in, it actually makes meditation way easier once you get out. As soon as I out of my bath I was totally hot and relaxed, and so i went downstairs and the whole process was MUCH easier to initiate and maintain.

I really think hot baths make a difference for some reason. My best theory right now is that when you're really hot, your body sends signals to relax every muscle. In order to do so, the brain would have to stop producing all those chemicals that keep your muscles tense and instead release chemicals which tell the muscles to relax, which in turn removes the same chemicals which keep you tense. As I've learned from years of back and neck pain, emotional and physical tension are quite interchangable and one always effects the other, so that's my theory anyway. hope this helps some of you :) .
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Comments

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2006
    There is also the 'nourishing' and calming quality of water itself... it is the first element into which we are born... and an all-envelopping bath is remarkably soothing, in that your body-weight disappears.... you become suspended and held and maybe even 'embraced' by the water.
    Add a couple of essential oils, and whoosh.... 7th Heaven....!
  • edited February 2006
    mr-devious wrote:
    Well I know most of us non-masters have plenty of trouble with this, even the more experienced who still need to make an effort to calm and centre themselves in the beginning (and during, at least for me). After all, there's all the distractions we hold in common. Monkey mind, crazy legs, dirty dishes, television, music, the radioactive monkey you still haven't removed from your attic.... but anyway, today I just discovered a very real and practical way of making it much easier to meditate.

    It's a shame that this happened in a way. Meditation is not about any particular state of mind, nor is about being relaxed. What it is about is seeing "Monkey mind, crazy legs, dirty dishes, television, music, the radioactive monkey you still haven't removed from your attic..." and not getting caught up in the futile pursuits of rejecting or clinging to them. As for effort, the effort in meditation is the same sort of effort that your meditation cushion makes, just sitting, just being there - moment after moment, that's all. In short, you don't do meditation - meditation does meditation.
  • edited February 2006
    It's a shame that this happened in a way. Meditation is not about any particular state of mind, nor is about being relaxed. What it is about is seeing "Monkey mind, crazy legs, dirty dishes, television, music, the radioactive monkey you still haven't removed from your attic..." and not getting caught up in the futile pursuits of rejecting or clinging to them. As for effort, the effort in meditation is the same sort of effort that your meditation cushion makes, just sitting, just being there - moment after moment, that's all. In short, you don't do meditation - meditation does meditation.

    I'm not quite sure I follow you zenmonk. I've found my greatest progress when I've attained the right state of mind, because the right mind-state helps me avoid all the thoughts that distract me, and so long as distraction remains, I remain in the same state I was before. If meditation is not about changing your state of mind, by learning to control it, then why do we do it?
  • edited February 2006
    No reason at all, or rather not 'in order to' attain anything, or even 'in order to'..anything. Otherwise it's simply perpetuating the same pattern of clinging and rejection that causes so much suffering in the first place. This might help:

    What he is saying is so important because when we talk about the inherent purity of the mind, he is not talking about an empty mind, a mind with nothing in it. It would be impossible to live under those circumstances. People try to do this, they go into hermitages and try to shut off all distractions, but this is not the direction in which to go. Some people still feel that thoughts are an obstruction and what one has to do is in some way suppress them or get rid of them. But he says, 'without dwelling in stainlessness' - we are not trying to develop a particular state of mind in which to dwell; there is not a fixed state of mind called awakening. Awakening is the absence of all fixed states, of all preferred states of mind.

    Zen Teacher Albert Low - The Mind is Wonderfully Pure and Clear

    The Mind is Wonderfully Pure and Clear
  • edited February 2006
    Instead of considering the aches and pains as distractions have you considered them as an aide to meditation?
  • edited February 2006
    harlan wrote:
    Instead of considering the aches and pains as distractions have you considered them as an aide to meditation?

    indeed I have, but no matter how hard I've tried I can't attain a pure level of consciousness when pain keeps forcing me back into distractive thought.


    And I think I see what you're saying now zenmonk, however I (fortunately) haven't been meditating to cling to a certain state, in fact I find my mindset changes constantly while in meditation. What I just mean by avoiding the distracting thoughts, is not allowing my mind to indulge in a lazy mindset of drifting around in whatever is on my mind. I'd elaborate further, but I gotta head out. still, I appreciate your guidance and thank you :), it's given me something to consider, though perhapse not what you were aiming to tell me. but then all education is what you take more than what is taught, in my humble opinion.
  • edited February 2006
    mr-devious wrote:
    but no matter how hard I've tried I can't attain a pure level of consciousness when pain keeps forcing me back into distractive thought.

    Is it the pain that 'forces' you back to distractive thoughts or your own conditioned response to pain?

    Perhaps the 'pure level of consciousness' you seek is the pain, is the floor, is the bath.

    Just an idea :)

    (ps don't mind ZenMonk and I - our tradition is know, by others, as the Meditating tradition)
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    I have found that no matter how much I meditate - and sometimes I even wonder why I meditate - I just have periods of the monkey-mind.

    I can't do something as simple as breath in and out 10 times without my mind running all over the place.

    It used to bother me.

    Now, I see it for what it is - it's the monkey-mind - and that's okay. I realize it for what it is, recognize it, embrace it and move on.

    But, there are the times when calming my mind, being aware of something as simple as "this moment", I am able to carry a bit of this clarity over into my non-meditating moments.

    -bf
  • edited February 2006
    mr-devious wrote:
    indeed I have, but no matter how hard I've tried I can't attain a pure level of consciousness when pain keeps forcing me back into distractive thought.


    That's good, it's one of the first things you learn in meditation. There is no such thing as a 'pure level of consciosness'. It simply doesn't exist.
  • edited February 2006
    Is it the pain that 'forces' you back to distractive thoughts or your own conditioned response to pain?

    That's an interesting perspective, I'll have to think over that.
    That's good, it's one of the first things you learn in meditation. There is no such thing as a 'pure level of consciosness'. It simply doesn't exist.

    lol zenmonk, while I'm sure you know what you're talking about, I'm just lost on what you're trying to explain. Maybe "pure consciousness" is just the best word I could think of, but not the correct one. But all I'm gathering so far is a philosophy of just sitting there, chilling, ho-dee-hum la-dee-da, letting your thoughts wander like the space-out sessions I'd go into in grade 8. Sorry, I know you're trying your best, but I guess we're not on the same wave-length or something.
  • edited February 2006
    mr-devious wrote:
    That's an interesting perspective, I'll have to think over that.



    lol zenmonk, while I'm sure you know what you're talking about, I'm just lost on what you're trying to explain. Maybe "pure consciousness" is just the best word I could think of, but not the correct one. But all I'm gathering so far is a philosophy of just sitting there, chilling, ho-dee-hum la-dee-da, letting your thoughts wander like the space-out sessions I'd go into in grade 8. Sorry, I know you're trying your best, but I guess we're not on the same wave-length or something.


    With a big difference. The difference is that instead of just chilling, or spacing out, in Buddhist meditation one learns to see things as they actually are. Meditation is not an escape from life, a rejection of some states and holding up of other states as being 'better'. It's opening up to our experience of life as it is right now, with all the distractions, thoughts, emotions and restlessness that we might be experiencing. In continuing with daily seated meditation, we also see that the old game of trying to reject some parts of reality and to cling to other parts just doesn't work. It doesn't wake us up, or make us any happier. In fact, that clinging and rejection is itself part of the reason why we suffer. Thus meditation is not about some particular state of mind, it's not about being relaxed, nor about being free from distractions, but seeing how your mind actually is, here and now.

    It is seeing clearly how your mind is when it's distracted and when it's not, how it is when it's calm and when it isn't. If we bring to meditation the same attitude of clinging to some states and thoughts and rejecting others, we are simply deepening the very tendency that leads to suffering - the ignoring of things as they are. So instead of indulging that tendency, or just spacing out, we allow thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations to arise and to pass - but we pay attention - and that attention is physical. It's done with the body and not the head. Initially at least, we use the breath as an anchor to bring us back to the present. Out of that attention, and out of the continued habit of not indulging the temptation to try to split ourselves off from how things are, we can begin to see things as they are, rather than how we think they are, want them to be or believe they are - and that is awakening.
  • edited February 2006
    Mr Devious, thanks for starting this thread, it touches on something that I've wanted to find a way to ask, and I've hesitated because I can't think of a way to put it.

    I was "taught" (if that's the word) meditation in the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order in the UK - Mindfulness of Breathing and Meta Bhavana. When I do these whilst I start with a monkey mind running everywhere, I do find that "I" mostly end up in a very calm "place". But the books I've been reading, and Zenmonk's comments (it's a pleasure to read them again!) make me wonder whether that is in itself a form of escapism. Is my ego creating an illusion of calm, rather than my actually being calm. Am I thinking that I am following the breath rather than following it? If that makes sense.

    Pretty screwed up, no? Worrying about being calm. And of course it may be that, as my teachers always used to say, I am fundamentally vacant. But any comments welcomed.

    Martin.
  • edited February 2006
    At my group last night we listened to a talk given by Rev Master Haryo (the head of the order).
    Part of it concerned meditation and the crux of it was that if we waited around for the right frame of mind to arise before meditating then we'd never get round to sitting.
    Some of the best times to meditate are when you are in the grip of anger, despair, etc.
    "Just sitting" amidst it all and quietly observing what is going on in your mind without attching to it can be extremely beneficial.
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    With a big difference. The difference is that instead of just chilling, or spacing out, in Buddhist meditation one learns to see things as they actually are. Meditation is not an escape from life, a rejection of some states and holding up of other states as being 'better'. It's opening up to our experience of life as it is right now, with all the distractions, thoughts, emotions and restlessness that we might be experienceing. In continuing with daily seated meditation, we also see that the old game of trying to reject some parts of reality and to cling to other parts just doesn't work. It doesn't wake us up, or make us any happier. In fact, that clinging and rejection is itself part of the reason why we suffer. Thus meditation is not about some particular state of mind, it's not about being relaxed, nor about being free from distractions, but seeing how your mind actually is, here and now.

    It is seeing clearly how your mind is when it's distracted and when it's not, how it is when it's calm and when it isn't. If we bring to meditation the same attitude of clinging to some states and thoughts and rejecting others, we are simply deepening the very tendency that leads to suffering - the ignoring of things as they are. So instead of indulging that tendency, or just spacing out, we allow thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations to arise and to pass - but we pay attention - and that attention is physical. It's done with the body and not the head. Initially at least, we use the breath as an anchor to bring us back to the present. Out of that attention, and out of the continued habit of not indulging the temptation to try to split ourselves off from how things are, we can begin to see things as they are, rather than how we think they are, want them to be or believe they are - and that is awakening.

    So... ZM...

    You're a meditator. In fact, it sounds like that's something you do quite a bit. So tell me...

    What do you do when you mind is racing all over the place when you're trying to meditate? Or have you meditated so long that these types of things don't happen to you anymore?

    I know you've got a 4:00 a.m., 5:00 a.m., 6:15 a.m., 8:00 bathroom meditation break, 10:00 a.m., 12:00 noon nap/meditation, 3:00 meditation, Oprah meditation, 6:00 meditation and 9:00 meditation schedule.
    Can you tell us what your experience is with a typical daily meditation? I think that some people have a hard time finding 15 minutes - you might be able to shed some light on things by giving your account of meditation.

    -bf
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Frizzer wrote:
    At my group last night we listened to a talk given by Rev Master Haryo (the head of the order).
    Part of it concerned meditation and the crux of it was that if we waited around for the right frame of mind to arise before meditating then we'd never get round to sitting.
    Some of the best times to meditate are when you are in the grip of anger, despair, etc.
    "Just sitting" amidst it all and quietly observing what is going on in your mind without attching to it can be extremely beneficial.

    Frizzer,

    I would have to agree.

    If we wait for a state that is, what we feel, condusive to meditating - we might never get around to it.

    I can't believe that meditation is only meant for a certain "time" or "state". If meditation isn't practiced when we're dealing with the feelings that cause us suffering - I don't believe we are applying it correctly.

    It's kind of like only taking care of ourselves when we're sick.

    -bf
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited February 2006
    It's kind of like only taking care of ourselves when we're sick.

    -bf

    That's a GOOD one, BF. So true.

    Brigid
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Brigid wrote:
    That's a GOOD one, BF. So true.

    Brigid

    Thank you!

    I stole it from another website, yet post it like it's my own advice.

    Isn't that cool? Plagarism Schmagarism!

    -bf
  • edited February 2006
    What a great thread, with lots of great information.

    I guess I am not really understanding what you are supposed to do with a thought when it arises. I have heard that you just "let it pass" without grasping it, but I just don't get it???!!!
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    YogaMama wrote:
    What a great thread, with lots of great information.

    I guess I am not really understanding what you are supposed to do with a thought when it arises. I have heard that you just "let it pass" without grasping it, but I just don't get it???!!!

    I've noticed that I will be meditating and all of a sudden realize I'm thinking about what someone said to me and how it made me feel, or a conversation I had, or something I want to work on or things I need to do at work, etc.

    I used to get mildly upset about my mind wandering all over the place.

    Now, I find myself becoming somewhat amused at how persistant the monkey-mind is - and then start all over.

    Start with a deep breath in - sense all I can in that one breath - and then let it out. 1.
    Start with a deep breath in - sense all I can in that one breath - and then let it out. 2....

    "Let it pass without grasping it", I believe, just basicaly means - forgetting about it, refocussing on what you're doing at the moment - breathing and meditating.

    I don't believe it's anything big, Yoda... just a refocussing on what you're intending to do at this "moment".

    Does that make sense?

    -bf
  • edited February 2006
    Yes, that makes sense. I guess I am doing this meditation thing right after all! :) At least, I think I am. :scratch:
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2006
    Excellent.

    I love it when you meditate. I hope it's something you can increase your ability in because it keeps yer lips from flappin'.

    -bf
  • edited February 2006
    Another good analogy I heard (on one of Gil Fronsdal's podcasts) was by comparing meditating to driving a car.

    When you're driving you are pretty much focused on where you are going. If you've been driving for a while then you may find that you don't need to concentrate too hard to keep the car on the road. If you see an advertising bill-board you may glance at it but you wouldn't stare too long as you'd end up crashing. You just keep focusing on your journey.

    Meditating can be seen in a similar way. You are sitting there and just gently focusing on your breath or whatever technique you use. Your thought are just like the advertisements. They pop up but you try not to concentrate on them for too long. You just observe them and let them pass.

    If only it was as easy as that though ! :)
  • edited February 2006
    Mr Devious, thanks for starting this thread, it touches on something that I've wanted to find a way to ask, and I've hesitated because I can't think of a way to put it.

    I was "taught" (if that's the word) meditation in the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order in the UK - Mindfulness of Breathing and Meta Bhavana. When I do these whilst I start with a monkey mind running everywhere, I do find that "I" mostly end up in a very calm "place". But the books I've been reading, and Zenmonk's comments (it's a pleasure to read them again!) make me wonder whether that is in itself a form of escapism. Is my ego creating an illusion of calm, rather than my actually being calm. Am I thinking that I am following the breath rather than following it? If that makes sense.


    It makes a lot of sense. It's possible to use any meditation 'technique' as a form of escapism. But if you're open to the thoughts, sounds, sensations and so forth, that come up during sitting, there's much less chance of that happening. This is why one of the important points about sitting is to neither reject, nor cling to what comes up, but to view them, as Frizzer said, like pop up ads in a sense. Notice them and then return to your breathing and posture. Too often if we think of concentrating, we imagine sitting there with gritted teeth, forcing ourselves to rigidly count or follow the breaths, or whatever our meditation technique is. In fact concentration in sitting is much more akin to the sort of attention we use when reading a good book. Though there's energy put into it, it's not rigid, not forced. A thought comes up, we're aware of that, and simply return to the breathing and posture, without getting too involved in judging ourselves for thinking or congratulating ourselves for sitting so 'well'.
  • queristquerist Explorer
    edited February 2006
    mr-devious wrote:

    I really think hot baths make a difference for some reason. My best theory right now is that when you're really hot, your body sends signals to relax every muscle. In order to do so, the brain would have to stop producing all those chemicals that keep your muscles tense and instead release chemicals which tell the muscles to relax, which in turn removes the same chemicals which keep you tense. As I've learned from years of back and neck pain, emotional and physical tension are quite interchangable and one always effects the other, so that's my theory anyway. hope this helps some of you :) .

    As a chiropractor (no longer practicing, but I still have my license) I will confirm the basis of your theory.
    The warmth indeed helps stimulate relaxation. This, in turn, can increase blood flow which will help flush out toxins and waste materials. Lactic acid, produced during anaerobic muscle contraction (i'll spare you the chemistry lesson :) ) is what causes that cramped, tight feeling in muscles. This is flushed away with the increased circulation.
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited March 2006
    I may have posted this before. It is one that I wrote some years ago:

    INSPIRATION

    Saint Paul saw a light on a road in the East.
    Young Samuel woke with a start.
    Moses, of course, had a mountain (with sheep).
    But I hear my Voice in the bath.

    Some Muses may stutter or cry in alarm.
    Some sing, paint or just make you laugh.
    But I hear them best when I'm wet and I'm warm,
    For I hear my Voice in the bath.

    As my toes twiddle taps
    and the steam fills the room
    and the sun turns the water to glass
    then all beings are one
    and all stories are told
    and the newest of songs are the epics of old
    'cos I hear my still Voice in the bath.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2006
    Jacques Cousteau said:-

    "All of my best ideas came to me under water...."*

    (I would sincerely hope one of these was the aqualung....!):)









    * In fact, he probably said -

    "Hawel erv mah berst haideeaz kerm tew me handair whatair...."
  • edited March 2006
    Zenmonk,

    Thank you. I find "concentration in sitting is much more akin to the sort of attention we use when reading a good book" a particuarly helpful way to put it, I think I understand that.

    Martin.
  • edited March 2006
    I may have posted this before. It is one that I wrote some years ago:

    INSPIRATION

    Saint Paul saw a light on a road in the East.
    Young Samuel woke with a start.
    Moses, of course, had a mountain (with sheep).
    But I hear my Voice in the bath.

    Some Muses may stutter or cry in alarm.
    Some sing, paint or just make you laugh.
    But I hear them best when I'm wet and I'm warm,
    For I hear my Voice in the bath.

    As my toes twiddle taps
    and the steam fills the room
    and the sun turns the water to glass
    then all beings are one
    and all stories are told
    and the newest of songs are the epics of old
    'cos I hear my still Voice in the bath.

    I love that! It's excellent.

    Funnily enough - part of the rituals we used to do in Wicca involved taking a ritual purification bath beforehand and I often found that by the time I had gone through all that, I had actually done all the concentrating and stilling I needed to and the rest of it became superflooooooo (can't spell today) superfluous superfl ... unneccessary.

    Mind you it could all have something to do with our modern pace of life and in the bath being one of the few places we can rest undisturbed for a while:lol::lol:
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Baths...

    I might have to try that.

    It sounds much more relaxing than having my girlfriend hose me off in the driveway.

    -bf
  • edited March 2006
    But much less entertaining for the neighbours!
  • keithgkeithg Explorer
    edited March 2006
    federica wrote:
    * In fact, he probably said -

    "Hawel erv mah berst haideeaz kerm tew me handair whatair...."
    :lol:
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Yes, but sometimes the water's so cold - all my boy pieces disappear.

    Very tough on one's ego.

    -bf
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited March 2006
    ILMAO at ALL these posts! Everyone of you is in top form today.

    Thanks.

    Genryu,

    Like Martin, that "reading a book" analogy worked wonders for me. Thank you so much.

    Brigid
  • edited March 2006
    Frizzer - I love your analogy of driving a car. That was very helpful. I love it!
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2006
    Frizzer wrote:
    Another good analogy I heard (on one of Gil Fronsdal's podcasts) was by comparing meditating to driving a car.

    When you're driving you are pretty much focused on where you are going. If you've been driving for a while then you may find that you don't need to concentrate too hard to keep the car on the road.

    ...I was taught this analogy too, but in a slightly different way...
    If you've been a driver for a while, someone will say to you...
    "How did you get here?"
    You'd reply -
    "By car - I drove here!"
    "Ok, but how...?"
    "Well - I just got in the car, and drove!"

    Right?

    Wrong.

    What your answer should be, is...

    "I opened the door to the driver's side, I got in behind the wheel, I shut the door, I put the key in the ignition, I checked the handbrake was on, and that it was in neutral, I put my belt on, I turned the ignition, I put the car into first gear, I checked over my shoulder, I took the handbrake off....."

    You see, when we first learn to drive, we have to be soooo mindful of co-ordinating everything we do... there's so much to remember....
    But once we have picked it all up, and have been doing it a while, we become blasé, careless... our mind can wander, and even if the car is a manual (or gear-shift, for MFATP) we still drive on 'automatic'....
    We should cast our minds back to the days when we had to really focus.
    And stay that way.
    Experience can make us thoughtless, and unappreciative of the wonder of learning... the wonder of seeing everything in minute detail....

    Does this make sense? :)
  • edited March 2006
    YES
  • edited March 2006
    buddhafoot wrote:
    So... ZM...

    You're a meditator. In fact, it sounds like that's something you do quite a bit. So tell me...

    What do you do when you mind is racing all over the place when you're trying to meditate? Or have you meditated so long that these types of things don't happen to you anymore?

    ...Can you tell us what your experience is with a typical daily meditation? I think that some people have a hard time finding 15 minutes - you might be able to shed some light on things by giving your account of meditation.

    -bf

    Sitting/breathing, "I wonder if I closed that back door properly"... vision of the dog escaping and roaming free for a gleeful ten minutes before he gets hit by a car...breathing/sitting..."OK now that hurts, is that just discomfort, or am I going to be crippled for life?"...breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting/birdsong/cars going past..."Hey no thoughts at all."

    Breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting/...Dog stands in front of me - staring at me and then prods me with a paw to make sure I'm still present enough to give him treats - a few seconds of uncontrolled laughter. Dog goes and lies down on the next cushion, harumphing loudly just in case I didn't notice him.

    Breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting...notice that one of the candles has gone out on the altar...breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting... briefly adjust posture... breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting.../breathing/sitting
    /breathing/sitting/breathing/sitting. Dog stands in front of me, refusing to move because he figures thiry five minutes of this is long enough. Time to take him for a walk.
  • edited March 2006
    OMG - THAT is meditation ???? I been doing it for years. And here's herself thinking she got it all wrong!
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Thanks for that Genryu.

    I've done meditation like that.

    Sitting.
    Breathing.
    What's that smell?
    More sitting. Maybe a little less breathing.
    Oh! heavy breathing.
    Whew!
    Sitting
    Legs falling asleep.
    Less breathing now.
    Damn, who didn't fill the toilet paper roll?
    More sitting.
    More breathing.
    Paperwork.
    Light a match.
    Go find something to watch on the tv.

    -bf
  • edited March 2006
    Bf - that's not meditation. That's "taking a crap". Not sure how you have made it this far in life without knowing that.
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Hey...

    You say "po-tay-to", I say "po-tot-o".

    You're hurting my feeling as well as getting on my nerve.

    -bf
  • edited March 2006
    Awwww.....poor thing. I didn't realize you were such a sensitive little guy. Just getting even for the "marriage" comment you made to me. ;)
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited March 2006
    And thus we have an excellent example of

    Right Grudge and
    Right Revenge.

    You go, girl!

    -bf
  • edited March 2006
    That's part of the eightfold path, isn't it??
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2006
    Right - FORGET it....!




    that is to say....

    F ailing
    O bscenity
    R evenge
    G rudge
    E nvy
    T actlessness
    I diocy
    T railer-trash....

    So the next time you yell "Right - Forget it!!" to your partner, during a spat - only you will know what you mean....!! :lol::lol:
  • edited March 2006
    This has all been very...interesting...to read. I appreciated ZG's detail in particular, and I have a question as well.

    Being new to Buddhism, I have never meditated. Well, I did once...and it was such an unsettling experience...that I never went back. Stupid, really, to be intimidated by the 'idea' of even sitting...but that is it.

    I tried out a zendo one night, and after 5 minutes thought I was going to run out of there screaming. 'Monkey brain' and leg pain. Then I recalled a breathing trick I discovered while giving birth...of concentrating on my breath...in and down...up and out. Gradually, there came to be no thoughts...and the leg/back pains receded, and became like a distant barometer. Then, at the end of an exhale, it was like a little soft bubble popped on top of water...and this wall of grief blew out.

    For a moment, I could 'see' it coming, and in a distracted way thought 'Now where did that come from'...and then it hit me. I was bawling like an idiot. The teacher was not approachable ('Keep looking for a teacher'), and the drive home was an experience of a hyperstate of awareness...everything in the environment was...intimate.

    Question: I've read that one should let thoughts come and go, observe and not cling, but I've found nothing about emotions. How does one deal with that?

    Thank you.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2006
    Emotions....

    Thus have I heard...

    The emotions happen, but they are not us...

    so if you see it coming up, and you know why (that is to say, you are going through and experiencing a current situation in which it would be natural for these emotions to come to the surface, or manifest,) then it is advised to simply "observe" them, as an outsider may watch a person next to them experiencing this flux in mood.... ask yourself exactly what 'you' are feeling... label it... ask why you should be feeling this now... where does it dwell? what brought it to the surface? towards whom or what is it directed, if anyone or anything?
    I they seem without rhyme nor reason, just observe them blossoming.... acept it.... breathe and let it go... juqt as you would a thought.
    It's all transitory anyway....
    Hope this helps...
    Just my view.....
  • edited March 2006
    And that was the question I wanted to ask: does one direct observation and do the 'nonthink/think'....like following a thread...during sitting? OR, is that an activity done afterwards to clear it away...and then go back to meditation?

    1. Is meditation directed while sitting?

    2, Should one consider sitting as meditation, and non-sitting as non-meditation - as seperate states? If yes, what is the qualifier that distinguishes the two?
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited March 2006
    Genryu,

    That was priceless!

    Brigid
  • edited March 2006
    One thing that I'd suggest, in addition to Federica's advice, is to feel the emotion in the body - that is really feel what that emotion is pysically - where does it manifest, how does it manifest? Is there a tightness in the chest or the abdomen, is there resistance to it, or is there openess to it, is the breathing affected and so forth, then return to the breathing and posture. Often, when the body/mind begins to get used to sitting meditation and stops flailing about and dispersing it's energies in unecessary thought, emotions will arise spontaneously, often without apparant reason. By opening up to them, experiencing them fully in the body and then returning to posture and breathing, we can let go of them without pushing them away or wallowing in them. A particularly useful practice both for physical pain and for difficult emotions, is to try a little to soften the area where we feel the pain or the emotion, rather than what we often tend to do - which is to tense up.
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