Leaving a teacher

SattvaPaul

Suppose you've found a teacher and benefited from his/her guidance to some degree. He/she is the only teacher you have access to. But somewhere down the line you've found that some aspect of this relationship is not working - it could be the teaching, it could be the communication, it could be money issues. You are not sure if the problem is with you or the teacher or the teaching. The teacher is not doing anything unethical. It just doesn't seem to be working out.

What would you do? Would you continue with this teacher or move on, which would essentially mean that you are left on your own? What if you have a feeling of guilt or you feel as if you've failed to put the teachings into practice properly, or you haven't given it enough time?

Jeffrey

First of all I don't think there is any right or wrong answer for the most part. You have the impetus of thinking something is not working out. I would tell the teacher and see if something can be worked out. Maybe you can resolve this way?

And then I don't think there is a generic answer to your question. It's individual and situational. Again there is no right or wrong answer.

compassionate_warrior

There are many possible answers to this. Are the teachings helpful? Maybe the teacher's style is what's not working. Or is it that you just feel like you're not "clicking" with the teacher? The teacher is just the vehicle for the teachings. If the teachings are valuable, I'd say, soak 'em up, as long as you feel the teacher is ethical. Money issues shouldn't enter into it, unless you're taking a special course, as opposed to regular once-a-week teachings.

I don't think you should feel guilty. (That would open you up to manipulation, if the teacher weren't ethical, and it's needlessly beating yourself up.) Maybe you've learned all you can from this particular teacher. There are online resources, and books. There's nothing wrong with learning on your own, until another opportunity to work with a teacher arises.

genkaku

Talk it over with the teacher, assuming you respect him/her enough. Most teachers have heard it all (more than once) and are unlikely to be offended by a suggestion that the road has gotten bumpy. I think you can be honest and get your concerns addressed, however the relationship turns out.

SattvaPaul

Thank you guys, all helpful suggestions. I think I need to mull over this a bit.

dorje

I second @genkaku's suggestion.

A good teacher would understand that sometimes his style of teaching would not be compatible with the student, and understand that sometimes an amicable parting would be constructive for the student's development. An even greater teacher would sometimes recommend another teacher so that the student keeps on learning and progressing.

MindGate

If there are money problems, I doubt a teacher would turn anybody down regardless of whether or not they could pay them.

The monastery/zendo that I "go" to asks for donations, but they say that if you can't afford it, that's fine too.

compassionate_warrior

Donations are always voluntary. Though I've heard that in some sects, pressure sometimes is applied. But some members have said there's a charge for teachings where they live.

How do you like the zendo, MG?

SattvaPaul

Donations are always voluntary. Though I've heard that in some sects, pressure sometimes is applied. But some members have said there's a charge for teachings where they live.

The way it works in my case is that the teacher charges for the time I see them. I'm struggling to cover my basic living expenses, so it doesn't make it easy.

SattvaPaul

I second @genkaku's suggestion.

A good teacher would understand that sometimes his style of teaching would not be compatible with the student, and understand that sometimes an amicable parting would be constructive for the student's development. An even greater teacher would sometimes recommend another teacher so that the student keeps on learning and progressing.

The teacher leaves me a lot of space to decide what I want to do. Although that is very helpful sometimes, I often need a more direct guidance. That is a tricky thing though, as I tend to do my own thing anyway.

MindGate

How do you like the zendo, MG?

I've only went there once, several months ago. Once I am able to drive I am planning on going there regularly. I only met the assistant teacher, though, not the main one. He was nice.

Citta

Its possible to have more than one teacher....many people do.
Not all eggs have to go into one basket.
Although each should know the situation.