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I don't think I have a rock bottom. I have lost all dignity before and nearly died, I have been a total mess, ended up in hospitals but still I continue. Like I said, maybe I am trying to kill myself slowly because I am too weak to do it in an instant.
What was it the buddha said, if you have nothing benefical or important to say, then shut up..?
...and who are you to say what is important and what isn't. (!) Another example of how you can't seem to see past your own nose. In order to quote stuff you need to first understand it.
I can have an opinion, I have that right. And my opinion was that. And how do I go about understanding such things that I seem to be so vastly ignorant of?
Congratulations Tosh, for your hard work in overcoming the alcohol addiction. I have never had problems with alcohol, but I quit smoking, and I know how hard these addictions are to overcome. :clap:
I don't think I have a rock bottom. I have lost all dignity before and nearly died, I have been a total mess, ended up in hospitals but still I continue. Like I said, maybe I am trying to kill myself slowly because I am too weak to do it in an instant.
My sister hit rock bottom and died... 30 years old.
Sorry to hear that, I hope you and your family, those close to her have gotten over that as best they can. Everyone has their reasons for turning to sunstances, and from my experience and people I know, some people just won't stop whatever happens to them. The only person who can cut the chain of such a habit is the person themself. I started this thread as a calculator on peoples alcohol intake on newbiddhist, but it has quickly become a 'lets have a pop at tom thread', or 'let be compassionate in a blunt manner'. That was not my intention, but things happen as they do.
@ThailandTom, Clearly I lack compassion,you're right. Your self destruction is of no concern to me hence, and so shall I no longer comment. But hey, it was a great way to deflect and change the subject so you did not have to respond to @Possibilities and me calling you out. Good luck to you Tom.
Comment as you wish, this is a forum. You seem to have some pain inside from what I can see, maybe someone close to you was troubled by a similar situation and subsequently died or something. Or you simply just lack compassion in general, i don't know. We all have things we need to work on on our path
@ThailandTom, Clearly I lack compassion,you're right. Your self destruction is of no concern to me hence, and so shall I no longer comment. But hey, it was a great way to deflect and change the subject so you did not have to respond to @Possibilities and me calling you out. Good luck to you Tom.
I echo your sentiments Hubris. At this point I couldn't care less what happens anymore to Tom. It's also time for me to ignore TT's posts as he is clearly baiting all of us. "You can fool some of the people all of the time" I guess. Good luck Tom, you're going to need it in this lifetime.
Baiting people, lol... Are you being serious? That is ludicrous, utterly ludicrous. Even to say that all of my posts are to bait people... You really do have a fractured view on me and this thread for that matter. But sure, ignore what I say that is up to you.
Even if I was here for the one purpose because I have issues with alcohol or substances (which I am not), compassionate people would offer some words, whick is why I post on a buddhist forum. Baiting people, that is really extreme.
I'd say it was the other way round. (Bodha and Hubris I do not mean either of you, just to clarify) vastminds, your only other comment on this thread was just plain nasty. You have alluded to not liking the general banter section so why are you here, to cause trouble??
Today I was not in the best of moods and I did not think I was trolling or disliked by many people on this forum, maybe a little outspoken and people may disagree with my opinions on certain subjects, but trolling..!? This is one thread among many I have posted since being here. I have tried offering advice and helping people, so I really do find those comments harsh and as I was already in a somber mood, it has effected me emotionally to find out that people dislike me that much for reasons unknown to me. That may sound pathetic, but today is not a good day for specific reasons.
I'd say it was the other way round. (Bodha and Hubris I do not mean either of you, just to clarify) vastminds, your only other comment on this thread was just plain nasty. You have alluded to not liking the general banter section so why are you here, to cause trouble??
Pardon me, that was meant to say 'one of your other comments'.
After those comments, specifically Hurbis and Bodha, I was truly surprised at first. Then I entered a state of anger and I was going to bring on a verbal hell, but I decided to take a step back and spend some alone time.
I then entered a state of reflection, a depressed and subdued state that was somewhat somber (as I mentioned today holds a specific significence anyway). I never thought that I was trolling, that was not my intention anyway. If you take all of my posts and threads and look at them as a whole, I doubt you would find a troll, but that is not for me to decide.
The comments did resinate throughout my entire day, even now I feel closed up. It is similar to when you have had a friend for a long time, or a partner and you find something out about them that changes your entire view of that person. With me, it has been this forum. I post here because I consider myself a buddhist, because I thought it would be full of decent and compassionate people, and I sought it as a refuge of sorts. Now I get the notion that this is not so. On top of that, it has made me contemplate me as a person in this period of my life, am I such a bad person that people on the internet decide to take such a tone with me, I cannot understand it fully at the moment. I assume that such comments come from those who either do not fully understand me because they are not here in a physical sense or know me well enough, they know mere words on a screen which are snippets of a life, or they lack compassion.
Anyway, I have decided to leave this forum for at least a few months maybe a year or I do not know. I lead a simple life and it was a refuge as I said, but I do not feel the same way about it now so I am checing out, probably to the delight of some people. I wish you all the best and I am sorry if I annoyed anyone to the extent of causing suffering. Thank you to those who have helped me over the past couple of years with relationship issues, substance issues and buddhism in general, I can at least take something from here. Tootles.
The fool thinks he has won a battle when he bullies with harsh speech, but knowing how to be forbearing alone makes one victorious. Samyutta Nikaya I, 163
Venerable Cheng Yen
Our inability to stand someone results from our lack of cultivation.
Having a wider heart and mind is more important than having a larger house.
Happiness does not come from having much, but from being attached to little.
Ayya Khema Unless we practice loving feelings (metta) toward everyone we meet, day in, day out, we're missing out on the most joyous part of life. If we can actually open our hearts, there's no difficulty in being happy.
The greatest achievement is selflessness. The greatest worth is self-mastery. The greatest quality is seeking to serve others. The greatest precept is continual awareness. The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything. The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways. The greatest magic is transmuting the passions. The greatest generosity is non-attachment. The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind. The greatest patience is humility. The greatest effort is not concerned with results. The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go. The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances. Atisha
Hmm well, I don't know about the rest of you but I really don't think a few drinks is a problem. As long as you want to drink, it is fine in my opinion. But if it ever gets to the "need to drink" stage, then you are going overboard with it. At least that is how I see it, anyway. Well heck right now I am enjoying some nice quality whiskey on the rocks, listening to some Miles Davis and John Coltrane, and enjoying a cigarette or two before I head off to bed.
I am not trying to forget any problems or escape from reality. Maybe I just want to feel warm and comfortable and more loose to help wind down the day. However alcohol is a real easy thing to get addicted to, and it breaks my heart whenever I see someone struggling with it. Can alcohol be misused? oh most definitely, and I would say it happens more often than I am happy with. On the other hand, some of us can hold their liquor and don't really find it a problem if none is available for months on end. The problem isn't the booze, it is the persons attachment to it.
Today I was not in the best of moods and I did not think I was trolling or disliked by many people on this forum, maybe a little outspoken and people may disagree with my opinions on certain subjects, but trolling..!? This is one thread among many I have posted since being here. I have tried offering advice and helping people, so I really do find those comments harsh and as I was already in a somber mood, it has effected me emotionally to find out that people dislike me that much for reasons unknown to me. That may sound pathetic, but today is not a good day for specific reasons.
For what it is worth, I have never thought you were or are trolling.
People are different, and it seems, just where they are.
Perhaps one part of you sees that, wants to change, and the other not really.
Many of us are like this.
Forums, I have found, can be tough beasts. You get a sense of kinship or attachment and bang, you find that many online people are just online, and some moderators ban friends and people regardless.
I hope you return if you want to, but if not, spend some time living the life that you want to - deep in your heart. Take care of yourself.
Comments
I started this thread as a calculator on peoples alcohol intake on newbiddhist, but it has quickly become a 'lets have a pop at tom thread', or 'let be compassionate in a blunt manner'. That was not my intention, but things happen as they do.
Even if I was here for the one purpose because I have issues with alcohol or substances (which I am not), compassionate people would offer some words, whick is why I post on a buddhist forum. Baiting people, that is really extreme.
All evidence points to a Troll.
I then entered a state of reflection, a depressed and subdued state that was somewhat somber (as I mentioned today holds a specific significence anyway). I never thought that I was trolling, that was not my intention anyway. If you take all of my posts and threads and look at them as a whole, I doubt you would find a troll, but that is not for me to decide.
The comments did resinate throughout my entire day, even now I feel closed up. It is similar to when you have had a friend for a long time, or a partner and you find something out about them that changes your entire view of that person. With me, it has been this forum. I post here because I consider myself a buddhist, because I thought it would be full of decent and compassionate people, and I sought it as a refuge of sorts. Now I get the notion that this is not so. On top of that, it has made me contemplate me as a person in this period of my life, am I such a bad person that people on the internet decide to take such a tone with me, I cannot understand it fully at the moment. I assume that such comments come from those who either do not fully understand me because they are not here in a physical sense or know me well enough, they know mere words on a screen which are snippets of a life, or they lack compassion.
Anyway, I have decided to leave this forum for at least a few months maybe a year or I do not know. I lead a simple life and it was a refuge as I said, but I do not feel the same way about it now so I am checing out, probably to the delight of some people. I wish you all the best and I am sorry if I annoyed anyone to the extent of causing suffering. Thank you to those who have helped me over the past couple of years with relationship issues, substance issues and buddhism in general, I can at least take something from here. Tootles.
but knowing how to be forbearing alone makes one victorious.
Samyutta Nikaya I, 163
Venerable Cheng Yen
Our inability to stand someone results from our lack of cultivation.
Having a wider heart and mind is more important than having a larger house.
Happiness does not come from having much, but from being attached to little.
Ayya Khema
Unless we practice loving feelings (metta) toward everyone we meet,
day in, day out, we're missing out on the most joyous part of life.
If we can actually open our hearts, there's no difficulty in being happy.
The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest patience is humility.
The greatest effort is not concerned with results.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.
Atisha
I am not trying to forget any problems or escape from reality. Maybe I just want to feel warm and comfortable and more loose to help wind down the day. However alcohol is a real easy thing to get addicted to, and it breaks my heart whenever I see someone struggling with it. Can alcohol be misused? oh most definitely, and I would say it happens more often than I am happy with. On the other hand, some of us can hold their liquor and don't really find it a problem if none is available for months on end. The problem isn't the booze, it is the persons attachment to it.
For what it is worth, I have never thought you were or are trolling.
People are different, and it seems, just where they are.
Perhaps one part of you sees that, wants to change, and the other not really.
Many of us are like this.
Forums, I have found, can be tough beasts. You get a sense of kinship or attachment and bang, you find that many online people are just online, and some moderators ban friends and people regardless.
I hope you return if you want to, but if not, spend some time living the life that you want to - deep in your heart. Take care of yourself.
Best wishes,
Abu