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Bad energy in meditation.
slavior
New
So for the first time since I have began meditating I had quite a different experience. I am still relatively new toeditation and strong prayer. (approximately 7 months) I have noticed lately once my mind is calm and relatively clear it seems light has been coming through. I tend to meditate in a dark room to help from outside distraction. Well each time this has happened it has felt good or positive sometoimes colored lights like red or green more foggy like a light in a misty swamp at night. But none the less positive energies. Well tonight I was in meditation and just beginning to get similar clarity and and a pulse whitish light started coming in cycles almost like it was trying to scratch through the darkness in my concious. Well after a few minutes it seemed to dissolve and it was like a darker then black energy came to be in my minds eye, it had such negative feelings around it I actually had to stop my meditation and turn on the lights. This has me greatly concerned because meditation is key to my happiness, so my question is has anyone had a similar experience? I am somewhat scared of opening the wrong door in my mind and conscious, I have heard that self taught meditation can be dangerous but I do not feel a connection to the one local sangha near me. What should i do?
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Comments
I might try to find a buddhist center near me. On your own? What about meditation in the light with eyes open?
You shouldn't be afraid. They are just projections. If you were to sit through those you would see that they will come and go. They disappear as you proceed further. My advice is to try to live a simple life, and keep to the 5 precepts, because these work together with our meditation. One who stays pure physically and mentally is free of these fears.
You should never self-diagnose if you are on prescribed drugs and under a doctor for treatment.
Any drug you wish to cease taking - which you have been taking habitually for a long period of time - should be stopped gradually...
as for your Meditation, try different techniques...
Mediating with the light off is conducive to different states to meditating in daylight, out in the park, with other people, sitting on a bus, standing in a queue....
try walking meditation...
There are many different types.
In fact, one master when asked, responded, 'when am I NOT meditating?'
Meditation can be part of any daily routine.
It is established that colours are linked to the way the brain calculates and assimilates - some people see vivid colours to music for example or to mathematics - the latest research shows that the brain hijacks various parts of its functions to multitask - another words, your brain is not equipped to deal with it all in set areas - there are times when it will double up - e.g - motor function synapses may be used in memory recall...
It may well be that the lights you are seeing are neither positive nor negative but just a by product of your brain function.
Perhaps they are something more - maybe you can translate the movement of the universe in colours!! Who knows??!! Noone even understands consciousness let alone how the brain works.
I have found that nothing in meditation is harmful - it is merely a state of mind - Federica's quote "when am I not meditating" is a good one... you should observe and continue non-attached... the negative will pass as will the positive!
From your account, you sound quite sensitive and intuitive in that you are concerned with the effect of a white lie - perhaps that is translated into dark light in your consciousness and with closed eyes meditation, your visual senses are disengaged so you are able to pick up on the imbalance in your thoughts (or your subconscious is communicating with your conscious and you are subtle and open enough to hear / see it)... closed eye meditation is associated with a lot of the shamanic traditions which involve spirit walking - the debate is whether this is walking in an alternative plane or just inside your own consciousness... if it is the latter then a little dark light shouldnt worry you...
A useful analogy is that of the mind as a dirty piece of clothing. In meditation we can be said to be washing it with better mental habits. So sometimes the dirt comes out, its not that you're necessarily creating the dirt. The idea is to not follow it, to not reject it, but to sit with it with an spacious attitude and eventually these habits lose their strength.
I'd also say try meditating with the eyes open and lights on. It may be harder initially to develop concentration but I feel this approach helps ground your meditative experience into everyday experience.
http://downthecrookedpath-meditation-gurus.blogspot.com/2011/07/dangers-of-meditation.html
Hope this helps. But seriously, I would find a good teacher.
Meditation is dangerous and a prudent person should avoid it
Everything is dangerous. Walk across the street and you may get hit by a bus. Take a shower and you could break your neck. Meditate and you will probably dredge up various nasty-matters from your past. The suppressed material that has been buried there for quite some time can be scary. It is also highly profitable. No activity is entirely without risk, but that does not mean that we should wrap ourselves in some protective cocoon. That is not living. That is premature death. The way to deal with danger is to know approximately how much of it there is, where it is likely to be found and how to deal with it when it arises. That is the purpose of this manual. Vipassana is development of awareness. That in itself is not dangerous, but just the opposite. Increased awareness is the safeguard against danger. Properly done, meditation is a very gentle and gradual process. Take it slow and easy, and development of your practice will occur very naturally. Nothing should be forced. Later, when you are under the close scrutiny and protective wisdom of a competent teacher, you can accelerate your rate of growth by taking a period of intensive meditation. In the beginning, though, easy does it. Work gently and everything will be fine.
http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_english_4.php
There are other practices out there that are NOT safe to take without a teacher. Or maybe it's just that they are a waste of time without a teacher?