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Should I be a Godfather?

orbit79orbit79
edited January 2012 in Buddhism Basics
Hi all,

I consider myself somewhere between atheist and buddhist. For most of my life I considered myself a straight atheist, however after researching Buddhism a couple of years back, I realised that my beliefs aligned with the Five Precepts. I do not believe in literal rebirth, however do believe in a rebirth of mental states. Regardless of the classification of my beliefs, I certainly am not a christian. Today, a friend of mine asked if I would be her child's Godfather. She is a close friend and I like her child. She is aware that I am not a christian, and despite being one herself, does not mind that I am not. If I were to accept the position, I would be taking part in her daughter's christening. Now, taking part in a seemingly religious ceremony, as a non believer, seems somewhat disrespectful. Would I simply not repeat the prayers? Or, if I 'pretend' and go along with the prayers, that to me seems disrespectful too. Buddhist practice religious tolerance (for lack of a better word) and as such I'm interested in what buddhists think about my position. Is it possible for a buddhist to take part in a non buddhist ceremony in order to help bring joy to, in this case, the mother of the child? Thoughts?

Comments

  • DonB72DonB72
    Yes, of course.

    If your friend is aware of your status - and asked you anyway - you should take it for what it is: an honour bestowed upon you by a good friend.
  • orbit79orbit79
    And take part in prayer, or simply stand quietly respectful during it?
  • DonB72DonB72
    I would stand by quietly. If your friend knows your status, and is fine with it, she probably wants you there for who you are, and not because of what you believe.

    If she is okay with you taking the role of godfather, then that is really all that counts.
  • orbit79orbit79
    Excellent, that's what I was thinking but I didn't want to be disrespectful in any way if I were to accept the position. But as you say, if she knows my status and still wants me to be then it shouldn't be seen as disrespectful really. Possibly more disrespectful to turn it down.
  • DonB72DonB72
    Yeah.

    You're really there, at least at that point, for the parent. If you are her friend, and she is aware of your beliefs but asks you anyway, it would probably be best to say yes.
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think The liminal space Veteran
    My sister asked me to be the godfather for my niece and I accepted. I imagine ceremonies differ but I didn't have to do anything but stand there. It was a while ago so my memory isn't that great but I may have had to light a candle or aknowledge that I was the intended godfather or something small.

    My niece and I have a close relationship that may have been there anyway but from my part being her godfather makes me feel closer and a bit more responsible.
  • cazcaz Veteran United Kingdom Veteran
    If there is an expected responsibility and religious aspect to it theres no point pretending.
  • LesCLesC Bermuda Veteran
    edited January 2012
    I think most people choose Godparents for their children because they respect those people and their value systems, and want those people in their children's lives. I would consider it an honour. It was originally intended that if the parents were not around you would see that the children were raised in a "God fearing (insert religion here) manner", and this is were you should be clear with them that you may not be qualified for that part of the role. But the rest of it you are obviously qualified for.

  • auraaura Veteran
    In many cultures, please be aware that the definition of a godparent is that a godparent bears the responsibility for raising the child in the event of the death of both parents, or co-responsibility for raising the child in the event of the death of a single parent, and for educating the child in the chosen religious preference of the parents.
  • SpacelessSpaceless
    You need not have to be her godfather to love her. And there is no problem attending christening and offer your loving-kindness of singing prayer. Namo Amituofo.
  • BonsaiDougBonsaiDoug Simply, on the path. Veteran
    In many cultures, please be aware that the definition of a godparent is that a godparent bears the responsibility for raising the child in the event of the death of both parents, or co-responsibility for raising the child in the event of the death of a single parent, and for educating the child in the chosen religious preference of the parents.
    This is a very important consideration to think about. Your personal involvement in a religious ceremony can simply be one of respect. But you really need to speak with the parents so that you are aware of their desires in the event you must take over raising their child.

  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    IMO, it's possible to take part in a Christian ceremony without being disrespectful and also without pretending. If I were asked, I would take part in it and also recite the prayers with them, as a show of respect to their beliefs, even if I did not personally believe in them, which I don't. Because it's not about you really. But like others have said, In Christianity, the godparents do take full responsibility for raising the child if something did happen to the parents.
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