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In theory a student of buddhism.. in practice an IDIOT

JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
edited January 2012 in Buddhism Basics
Title is how I feel and to catch discussion:


So I was doing good got some groceries at the market and I'm in the parking lot with my cart between my car and another. A guy comes up to put things in the other car and I say "sorry".. he says "its ok its warm out" (the snow and cold was melting). I turn around and hit his car mirror with my arm. "oops, that's not good" and now I am so nervous. He hands me two things of non-alcoholic beer from my cart to help me put in my car. Then because I am so nervous though I thanked him I don't know what I did with the cart, I didn't walk it back to the store I was so nervous. So I get back in my car and just wait while I calm down. I waved him to go first as his car was facing out of the spot.

Good mindfulness huh? At least I have learned how to react to mistakes a little: regret your mistake See it for what it was - for example I could say that I did not slow down when I was nervous,, I could also say that my biggest fear is that I will make future mistakes like that. Do some practices that are positive to make up for it: I let a jogger cross in front of me in an appropriate way and I am going to dedicate my meditation to the guy that helped me. Finally I take refuge in the dharma as something to help me through my lack of mindfulness.

Anyone any comment?

Comments

  • zenffzenff Veteran
    Maybe love yourself a bit more? Including the mistakes and all.
  • patbbpatbb Veteran
    why were you nervous?



    many of Ajahn Brahm talks have good advices on not beating yourself up and not worrying about mistakes so much.

    Everybody makes mistakes, no worries :)

    and no matter what,
    >regret your mistake
    never do this :)
  • lamaramadingdonglamaramadingdong Veteran
    That sounds like me on a good day.
  • Telly03Telly03 Veteran
    I read somewhere that the Native Americans didn't have an apology, such as "sorry" , they would acknowledge though when they made a mistake by saying something like, "that was an accident", if anything needed to be said at all. That made sense to me... In our culture it is like we owe someone something, such as an apology, when a mistake is made. I don't care much for that logic... An accident is an accident, and the compassionate thing to do is to understand that and move on instead of compiling anger towards a person until some sort of payment is received.

    I doubt that helped your situation any Jeffrey, but this is what your story reminded me of.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran

    Thanks everyone
    why were you nervous?
    patbb, I think because my mind had withdrawn and I lost confidence. It wasn't an intellectual happening it was just base wave of feeling overpowering me. So as I perceived first I felt bad that I was taking up the space between the cars and then I turned to open my door and hit his mirror which I was worried I had broken. And by that point I was overpowered by embarassment..

    I'll watch the video in a minute..thanks :)


    The jewel ornament of liberation teaches to regret your mistakes, it's more like you should reflect

    The power of remorse
    * by investigating the meaninglessness of non-virtue
    *by investigating fear of it's result
    * by investigating the need to be free of it quickly
    Parents siblings sons wives
    servents wealth and other relatives
    will not follow one beyond death
    but one's deeds will
    Power of antidote
    To oppose karma of evil deeds, perform the antidote. Even if it has been created, the result o fthe nonvirtue can be transformed to something else by the power of antidote
    Purify evil deeds by meditation on emptiness
    One who committed evil deeds
    Can purify them with virtue and
    Radiate in this world
    Like the sun and moon emerging from behind the clouds
    Power of resolve
    Through fear of the causes ripening in th future, one ceases to commit evil deeds
    Power of reliance
    By taking refuge in the Triple Gem,
    One will achieve the state of fearlessness


  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    you must be british...
    the British will apologise to you, if you tread on their foot.....

    Always knew you had it in you, old boy! :D
  • possibilitiespossibilities PNW, WA State Veteran
    Maybe you need to learn to rely on your inner strength rather than all the things you read. You're making things too complicated.
    You know the basic rules, so apply them. If someone gets mad at you, it is often not your fault, but their bad day, something that happened earlier. Not exactly cause and effect, as you might assume and as we tend to usually believe. So, just a friendly attitude and some patience ought to be good enough to get you through the day, no matter what :-).

    Want to try it?
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    @possibilities actually I did react. The way I did. Only later did I analyze it and apply antidotes. Now I feel much better so I think my study has helped me.

    I like those two mantras you gave though: friendliness and patience.
  • possibilitiespossibilities PNW, WA State Veteran
    @federica said "the British will apologise to you, if you tread on their foot....."

    ...... and they call you 'love' :o

  • SpacelessSpaceless
    why not drive out your car out the lot alittle so that you can load your cart more comfortably. the vacated lot also allows other car to have them.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    @spaceless, I have to put my car in a parking space, I can't advance the car near the store while I am in the store. All of the spaces have neighbors by them. Usually I park far from the store so I am out of the crowd, though. That day I was near.

    Ahh now I understand, yeah usually I park far away where I have space.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    Good ajahn brahm video!
  • RavenRaven
    you must be british...
    the British will apologise to you, if you tread on their foot.....

    Always knew you had it in you, old boy! :D
    Or maybe Canadian? (One of us! One of us!)
  • ajnast4rajnast4r Veteran
    edited January 2012
    hi friend

    what you said happens to me a lot.. and i think to most people.

    "I think because my mind had withdrawn and I lost confidence. It wasn't an intellectual happening it was just base wave of feeling overpowering me. "

    don't beat yourself up, just use the experience to remind you to be more mindful. no one is just instantly mindful all the time, it takes so much practice to have even some! failure pushes progress in practice forward, so don't feel bad... feel good and be thankful you can use this situation to improve. find a technique for the problem and remember (be mindful) to catch that feeling at use your technique. do you have any technique to deals with those states of mind?

    for me becoming familiar with the breath is key. learning how the breath feels when its relaxed, comfortable, confident... learning how the breath feels when its withdrawn, scared, overwhelmed... centering on the breath, correcting thing breath to match the relaxed, comfortable breath that you find in meditation.

    http://dhammatalks.org/Archive/guided_meditations/guided_meditations.zip

    http://dhammatalks.org/Archive/guided_meditations/02 Guided Breath & Leaving Meditation (40min).mp3
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