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It is something we all endure, something you read about and begin to learn at a very early stage when you walk down the dharma path as it is clearly written in the 4NTs, but recently I have really seen how it operates in a specific way. I obviously have read like the vast majority of you have that we all suffer in life, but I have come to see it in a way more than mere words on a screen or in a book. If you start to peel away those layers of ego, study people and take away their money, their material things, their identity, you see that everyone is just a consciousness striving to dodge suffering inside a human form. They can look very different from person to person, have greatly different lives, but they all have the same fundamental problem which is suffering. That of course will differ from person to person in levels of suffering and in what form, but it is the same problem anyway.
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As you have witnessed for yourself, 'Actions speak louder than words'.
Reading the Buddha Dhamma Sangha, is all very well.
seeing it, and putting it into practice, speaks greater volumes.
It may not be much of a realization on it's own, but I am seeing that I am starting to look at the world in a different way for sure. However, I still lack meditation, that is really my big weakness within buddhism, yet it is so important. If only I could break the barrier I would probably be able to jog down my path instead of walk, take a break, walk, take 2 steps back and then fall over on my path
You may lack meditation but you certainly do contemplate. And this is more important than meditation in my opinion. Contemplation itself is a sort of meditation anyways. Apparently you are getting the insights. I met people who are great at sitting in meditation regularly everyday for years but the rest of the day they don't contemplate. They get into their regular lives and obviously these people do not progress much. In your case, you are following the most effective method to cut your defilements. Contemplation is really the key for enlightenment...
Setting a regular time for official or sitting meditation is important, start small, 5 minutes everyday at 10:00 am ??? However these other forms of mindfulness ( eating, walking, driving, shopping, etc.) are equally important. Find "the stillness".
Good Luck,
With Metta
I have been more than intersted in buddhism for over 3 years, yet I have yet to break the 20 minute barrier of a formal sitting meditation. Of course this down to my own dtermination and willpower, but that is how it has been. But like in an older post of mine, it has been recent changes in my life that have maybe driven such insights into light without a formal sitting meditation. Since cutting my daily consumption of alcohol I have also started yoga, it is said meditation is easier after a yoga session as they both focus on energy and breathing techniques. I shall go from here I guess