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So does anybody out there in the land of the internet and new buddhist have some wise words to say about cravings and how to deal with them? I would appreciate it please
Thomas
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I've had a hard time going cold turkey on my cravings. What has helped me is to take a short vow to refrain from the behavior, for like a day or something. I find it easier to make it through one day knowing my craving will be there the next day for me. As one day gets easier I increase to 2 days and so on. For some of them it gets to the point where engaging in the craving behavior starts seeming unpleasant compared to refraining and they can be abandoned all together.
In your case with drugs and alchohol there's the added problem of physical addiction so I don't think that my method would work in that case. But for cravings outside of that I find short doses of restraint builds up a familiarity with life outside the craving paving the way for abandoning them.
They slowly creep up, build momentum, peak, then slowly dissolve.
Watch what starts the craving. Watch for moments of peak craving. Watch how craving eventually dies off.
Give into craving and see how disappointed you are afterwards, though initially it was great. Focus on the dissatisfaction, don't ignore this.
See how cravings have nothing to do with you. They are accumulated habits of mind/body.
The craving has one lie. If you do this you will be happy. Watch the image that projects. Watch the feelings it projects.
Keep that in mind while craving. Then do the thing and see the contrast. Dis it deliever? Or is this a continual wheel.
Also check out her discussion of shenpa (attachment/craving): http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/shenpa3a.php
Someone posted this talk the other day - I wish I could remember who!
I do feel though, that there is some truth to it in that it really makes a difference whether you can give your life a direction and some meaning that gives you a good sense of self worth. At least it would give you reason to avoid wasting your time on pointless pursuits that are even harmful to your health.
The goal may not need be set very high, as long as you develop some kind of skill that places you in a good spot in society (maybe not even physically, since you have problems with people).
You're a smart young man, Tom. Young. And NOW (or soon) is the time. Things are so much easier to do, learn, develop at your age where you still have the privilege of trial and error, and finding your niche.
IMO, these cravings occupy time that is meaningless because it lacks value. They breed on boredom and dissatisfaction. Applying Buddhist thought patterns you can tackle the dissatisfaction to a point where it won't bother you as much, but that only takes you so far, since you still live in this quasi vacuum of not applying yourself, and are doing not much more than applying a band aid.
OTOH, some cravings are chemical malfunctions in the body/mind - as I had to find out when I changed meds and cravings (for sweets) disappeared almost over night.
I overcame a craving for cigarettes a long time ago because they were robbing me of my energy which I needed to my job.....
Just something to ponder, maybe it helps.......? I know you are trying hard!
Okay, so it's trite, but "mind over matter". The intellect is capable of surpassing cravings from my POV, although different people have different levels of addiction, so who's to say. I tend to be biased since I feel if I can do it so can others, however I know it's not merely that simple. I struggle with addictive behaviors in others for that reason.
I think addiction is very much a chemical thing within the brain. However, as Hurbis stated a lot of it at times can be mind over matter, within reason. My father was a chain smoker and on news years eve of my first year alive he straight up quit and never smoked again, now he is a health freak and goes to the gym 5 times a day. Things like valium and benzos though, if you try to straight up cold turky them, or if you have a severe alcohol addiction and try to CT, you can end up in hospital or worse. Last year when I was taking stupid amounts of valium people on a benzo forum were saying no, taper off of them it is too dangerous. I said nope, it is all in the mind. I CT'd it and I did have a seizure but I stopped for 3 months clean, until I realized I was not going outside.
I think like Alison said though, take each day as it comes is the way to think. Kudos to everyone who has ovecome addictions though here, I know how they can hinder ones life.