Attachment to fragile life.

StoicBuddhistAlex

Any budhdis tought on attachment to example a dog.

I love my dog... but he can die very easy, someday run of the house and get killed by a car or stuff like that.

How you love fragility ?

Jeffrey

Fragility is impermanence in Buddhism. Sometimes a lot of feelings come up like in meditation and some times meditation they don't.

person

When you accept the fragility of life you start to appreciate the time you do have with loved ones more because you never know when it could end.

lamaramadingdong

Our oldest daughter (21) was just diagnosed with MS. I wrote a song to express my emotions. Still working on the music for it.

For Emma (Long May You Dance)

A foggy day in early February
Hopin' our fears would be proved contrary
Only get one dance though the steps may vary
No one's life is ever ordinary

Now the fog's been lifted and our vision's clear
Uncertainty itself’s a certain fear
Hold on tightly to those who you hold dear
Draw them close to you and keep them near
and long may you dance

Permanence, turns out, is only temporary
Got to dance our dance even when it's scary
We'll never get more weight than we can carry
Just keep on dancin' your steps and never tarry

Now the fog's been lifted and our vision's clear
Uncertainty itself’s a certain fear
Hold on tightly to those who you hold dear
Draw them close to you and keep them near
and long may you dance

taiyaki

With wisdom attachment becomes love.

Just a thought for you.

sofa

There is no "dog". There is only the experiences of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, feeling and thinking. These experiences arise and cease, without any continuity. Meditation should show you this.

And besides; what is love? As the Buddha taught in dependent origination; from contact comes sensation, from sensation comes craving, from craving comes attachment. And that's what most people understand to be "love"...

So to use this dependent origination on your case: seeing, hearing or touching your dog gives rise to a certain sensation within you. Then you like this sensation (= craving) and as a result you become attached to this sensation.

So not really "love" here, in my opinion, but attachment. This is so in most of the cases in which we say we "love" some one or some thing. We just like the feeling that comes from seeing, hearing or touching that person (or any other of the six forms of contact, for example thinking about that person). As a result of liking this sensation, we become attached to it and so we will repeat the behaviour that led to this feeling (seeing or touching the other person or...).

Real "love", in a Buddhist sense, would be an unconditional love for all beings, based on wisdom...

How you love fragility ?

Why would you want to love fragility? The Buddhist claim is that if you realize that all of reality is impermanent, you let go of it, grow tired of it... But then what is meant here is really realizing it (in meditation), seeing it in the experiences, as opposed to a mere intellectual understanding of it.

Because this is what you're doing when you say that "all life is fragile". It's a valid claim in a conventional sense, but from a point of view of ultimate reality (meditators point of view), there is no such thing as "life", since it can't be experienced...

So to best way to go, is to meditate, realize impermanence for yourself and as a result let go and become an arahant

Lady_Alison

I'm very sorry about your daughter, my best friend, who is a sister to me also has MS.
When you do get the music for it, will you please post it. It is beautiful.

Our oldest daughter (21) was just diagnosed with MS. I wrote a song to express my emotions. Still working on the music for it.

For Emma (Long May You Dance)

A foggy day in early February
Hopin' our fears would be proved contrary
Only get one dance though the steps may vary
No one's life is ever ordinary

Now the fog's been lifted and our vision's clear
Uncertainty itself’s a certain fear
Hold on tightly to those who you hold dear
Draw them close to you and keep them near
and long may you dance

Permanence, turns out, is only temporary
Got to dance our dance even when it's scary
We'll never get more weight than we can carry
Just keep on dancin' your steps and never tarry

Now the fog's been lifted and our vision's clear
Uncertainty itself’s a certain fear
Hold on tightly to those who you hold dear
Draw them close to you and keep them near
and long may you dance

Lady_Alison

I have had "kitty" since she was 4 weeks old. Her mother did not want her because she was the runt of the litter. She was being cared for by a vet tech for a few weeks before we got her. . . She was not very socialized and didn't know how to use the litter or how to clean herself.

Let's just say I had to teach her with a warm rag... You really don't want to know all the details. She is the love of my life and perhaps even my soul mate...sorry, husband.

But a year ago, when she got sick...I started to freak out about her dying. I mean, even the healthiest cats can only live to be about 20...yeah, I don't see her being that old. But now at 7 years old, she is starting to get a little tired from doing things she normally did when she was just a tiny kitten.

So I actually pre-mourned her death as best I could by gently bringing up the fact in my mind that yes, she will die, one day.

That not only helped me to deal with it, but I think I am begining to cherish her more and more.. even though she still likes to shit on my things I leave out...as a territorial thing.

So I suggest you bring it up in your meditation. Whe the time comes, it will be sad, but you won't be side swiped by grief.

SeaOfTranquility

Everything we come in contact with is impermanent. We are impermanent.

Process meeting process manifesting as the present moment. Each moment presenting new appearances, but all impermanent.

In some unknowable future present moment your dog will no longer be there. At that time you will probably grieve the loss. but your sadness will be impermanent also.

Worrying about loosing something in the future that you have now is attachment. You can still have great affection for your dog now without the projection of a future that will be different. Pretty sure your dog does not have these concerns and is much happier for it.

zombiegirl

That not only helped me to deal with it, but I think I am begining to cherish her more and more.. even though she still likes to shit on my things I leave out...as a territorial thing.

Hello fellow cat lady, hehe.

I posted on here about a month ago or so when my cat Austin was sick with a UTI (although at the time, we were unsure whether it was bladder stones, crystal blockage, or UTI. UTI was the best case scenario, btw, as the others can lead to ridiculously expensive surgeries I could not afford or simply, death.) So, long story short, I sort of freaked out with unbelievable panic but in the end, everything was alright and he's made a full recovery... But I think what I realized was that most of my sorrow over losing him was due to regret. Sure, I always took care of my cats, but I wasn't being the BEST pet owner I could be. Just like people do in relationships, I had kind of started to take my cat for granted over his 10+ years with me. It doesn't help that Austin is the rather reserved/stand-off-ish cat and my other one demands to sit on my lap 24/7. As a result of this experience, I had a talk with my vet about the best type of food to feed him (as it turns out, she recommended I double the amount of wet food and lessen the dry, since dry food can cause all of the above problems. Austin has been very pleased with this recommendation.) and she basically told me that stress can cause UTIs as well, so I've been better about incorporating play time. This is silly, but I bought a dog harness/leash and we take him outside sometimes since he is an inside cat that always wishes he were an outside cat. He really loves it though.

In a way, I am actually grateful for the experience because I think it has prepared me for the inevitable. At least now when it happens, I won't have to live with regret that I wasn't providing the best life for him that I could. Of course, you can apply this to humans as well. I have lost people and what always hurt the worst was regretting actions or wishing I had said things that I never did. You can never change the fact that they are gone, but I think knowing that you did your best with the time you had with the person will be less of a burden.

weighted

Agree with the wise @person and @taiyaki on this one.

Attachment can become metta with mindfulness and practice. With that said, I'm woefully attached to my cat and can only imagine how I'd feel if she were ill.

The certainty of death for all beings should make us value the time we have with them now all the more.

lamaramadingdong

Thank you, Lady Alison, for your compassion.

lamaramadingdong

Here is a link to the song I wrote for my daughter. This is a "rough draft". Phrasing needs to be worked on and bass, lead guitar and harmonica will be added later.

http://www.myspace.com/579049747/music