Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register
Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Can You Truly Accept Yourself If You Believe There Is Something Wrong With You?

AllbuddhaBoundAllbuddhaBound Veteran
edited February 2012 in Buddhism Basics
I often meet people who describe themselves as Bipolar or Depressed. They are often looking for their own flaws and are not satisfied with what lies at their core. If you want to fight with who you are, how can you come to a place of piece and acceptance of yourself?

Comments

  • personperson Don't believe everything you think The liminal space Veteran
    If you want to fight with who you are, how can you come to a place of piece and acceptance of yourself?
    I'm not sure you can, if you want to fight with who you are that is. Meaning that fighting with yourself and accepting yourself are mutually exclusive.

    If you can learn to accept yourself you will have a kinder attitude towards yourself and will want to be happy and feel like you deserve it. So accepting your faults doesn't mean you're stuck with them it means that you love yourself enough to want to develop better habits that lead to more peace and happiness.
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    You offer unconditional love to yourself, just as you would to others. Within that love, you can grow, and practice the Dharma.
  • zombiegirlzombiegirl beating the drum of the lifeless in a dry wasteland Veteran
    I remember something a yoga instructor once said that I really took to heart, "In the same way that you will never be perfect, you already are."

    Like others have said, be kind to yourself, but don't lose the ability to grow and learn.
  • weightedweighted Veteran
    I think it's important to differentiate between a flaw and a limitation here.

    A flaw seems like something that is innate and unchangeable. A limitation is something that can be addressed mindfully and accepted as something that can change with time.
  • shanyinshanyin Novice Yogin Sault Ontario Veteran
    thank you for this thread. I believe I was brainwashed to believe there is something wrong with me. Through analyzation... labelling and given drugs when I didn't need them.. believing I had been "cured". I absolutely hate modern psychiatry. They are looking for they're flaws because they believe something is wrong with their brain.. and have been analyzed and TOLD there is something wrong with them by doctors who are authority figures. So they focus on fixing what's wrong with they're behaviour or mental patterns because they are nice people who want to have a normal life.

    Metta meditation helps. I agree with my teacher that many people have negative self-images and metta meditation can help with that.. starting with lovingkindness towards oneself.

    Just my thoughts.
  • shanyinshanyin Novice Yogin Sault Ontario Veteran
    I have a nice friend who was saying that sometimes he just has to tell himself "everything is as it should be"
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    ....And I think it's TNH who says,

    "How wonderful! how wonderful it is, with things exactly as they are!"
  • shanyinshanyin Novice Yogin Sault Ontario Veteran
    edited February 2012
    very good :D
  • SileSile Veteran
    You offer unconditional love to yourself, just as you would to others. Within that love, you can grow, and practice the Dharma.
    Wholeheartedly agree.

  • DaltheJigsawDaltheJigsaw Mountain View Veteran
    Great question. The answer is not simple, but it is simple.
  • AllbuddhaBoundAllbuddhaBound Veteran
    So much to be learned from the simple.

    We live in this world where negativity and problems abound, particularly in the west. Where we always view aberrations as something to be conquered. Something to be controlled and brought into subjugation. Then, we apply the same standard to ourselves and wonder why we can't be happy or at peace with the reality of our world.

    And if things don't change inside us with medication or a therapeutic approach, then it isn't our fault that our problems don't disappear. We can give in and surrender to the problematic thinking or behaving.

    Is it possible to lead a good and happy life, even if our symptoms persist?
  • weightedweighted Veteran
    Is it possible to lead a good and happy life, even if our symptoms persist?
    Certainly. Our heart's natural state is metta, but we forget this with all of the worries, doubts, our imperfections, our relationships with others that may collapse, illness and feeling we are labeled as "unhealthy," etc.

    Connect with metta. Begin to accept yourself as you are, and love yourself for that alone.
  • AMHAMH
    I am diagnosed bipolar. It is just how mybrain works. I find things much easier on a day to day basis, how much I appreciate that.

    However I don't feel there is anything more wrong with me than someone with diabetes or asthma. And unlike diabetes or asthma I can see there is some cool stuff with my brain

    The answer is yes, I do not expect or intend to be 'perfect' by anyones standard and I am fine the way I am, without fixing.
Sign In or Register to comment.