There is a huge debate going on in another forum I frequent, on why it seems so taboo for those who have no children, and do not want any, to actually admit it in public.
It's an American forum (I say that by way of elaboration... It's interesting to hear the different 'Mind-sets' because I don't think, in the UK there is precisely the same attitude.)
For my part, I think people should be slowing down...
I think we have to consider the resources or finances available, in the long term, and concede that if people would like children, they should stick with just two.... and those who choose to not have children should not be penalised, taxation wise.... Childless couples are definitely worse off in the UK, and basically, to discuss it on this level, subsidise those who do choose to have children.
Take into account single parents, teenage pregnancies, dysfunctional families, the divorce rate...
Is it such a good idea to have Children? Isn't it just a bit selfish?
I have two daughters. one aged 23 one aged 15.
I was desperate for my second. My hormones were shot to pot, and I needed HRT to get me back in the swing of things, but then I was absolutely desperate for my second child.... I had to have a baby....!
I tried to work to supplement the income, but found that my salary was funding child-care, so why bother? I therefore stayed at home, found a couple of tiny 'peanut-paying' jobs that would fit in with the children. I raised them, clothed them, became the taxi service, chief Nursing officer and Entertainments Director... I spent all their formative years with them, actively participating right up into school level....I was, for many years, Bob's wife, and Pippa's/Caroline's Mum.
(You kind of lose your identity, if you're not careful....)
Now, all these years down the line, neither of my girls communicates with me. They live less than ten miles away, but I never see them, they never speak to me, and inspite of efforts on my part to re-establish a connection of some kind, have nothing to do with me.
You see, I decided to end the marriage.
I am not going to go into reasons here - suffice to say, in a nutshell, there was no marriage.
So I ended it.
I have Nick now. He and I are THE item.
But I am estranged from my daughters.
I would never, in all those years, have believed this could happen given that for all that time, we three were so close.
And yet here we are.
Don't get me wrong. If this isn't a lesson in 'Attachment' I don't know what is... it has been a phenomenal "wake-up" call for me.
I don't regret a bit of it, and I really am more fine about my life than you could ever imagine.
If this is my Life, then karma is at work, and it's up to me to handle it accordingly.
But this much, for my part, have I learnt:
Parenting, to me, is a thankless task.
And when you get folks like Sally Jesse Raphael, Ricky Lake, Oprah Winfrey, Montel Williams (USA) Jeremy Kyle, Trisha Goddard (UK) all revealing huge family issues centering on wayward teenagers.... You do have to stop and ask yourself -
What in "Heaven's" name are we doing - ? Because there but for the grace of God.....!!