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My version of You.
RichardH
Veteran
Today I met my partner for lunch in a cafe . We met after a busy morning of work . As we sat down and looked at each other... we both caught a shadow in the others facial expression, and both projected onto that.... “you are upset with me”. It turned out that neither of us was upset with the other... but for a moment we both imagined it.
How many times have you looked at someone while talking, and seen him/her make a face (..a gas pain? ..thought of work? ..a twitch?) and seen it as reflecting on you? As much as I can have “Theory of mind” (i.e. putting yourself in someone else' shoes) and empathy, I can only guess what someone else is thinking, and usually try to as a matter of course. Sometimes I do not relate to my partner, but instead relate to my version of her, complete with a projected interior life. This is really pretty normal, and our society functions that way. It is also pretty delusional. Have you ever gotten angry at someone who isn't there, because you imagine that person thinking something about you?
During times of strong sitting practice, especially group practice involving a lot of shared silence , there is far less of that going on IME... and sometimes it stops altogether, which is a wonderful very free place to be in. But still, often, even if it doesn't turn into the galloping paranoia it used to, it still comes up, a very ordinary craziness.
Just sharing R
How many times have you looked at someone while talking, and seen him/her make a face (..a gas pain? ..thought of work? ..a twitch?) and seen it as reflecting on you? As much as I can have “Theory of mind” (i.e. putting yourself in someone else' shoes) and empathy, I can only guess what someone else is thinking, and usually try to as a matter of course. Sometimes I do not relate to my partner, but instead relate to my version of her, complete with a projected interior life. This is really pretty normal, and our society functions that way. It is also pretty delusional. Have you ever gotten angry at someone who isn't there, because you imagine that person thinking something about you?
During times of strong sitting practice, especially group practice involving a lot of shared silence , there is far less of that going on IME... and sometimes it stops altogether, which is a wonderful very free place to be in. But still, often, even if it doesn't turn into the galloping paranoia it used to, it still comes up, a very ordinary craziness.
Just sharing R
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http://imgur.com/gallery/6icZ3
The persisting presence of an absence ......
:eek2:
It was wonderful what you shared, I feel like this often.
Grandin draws similarities of autism to animal cognition. Sounds samadhic. Is that a word?
Anyway, animals have formidable cognitive abilities - emotion and observation not being the least.
What if the observation that someone was upset with you in the moment was dead accurate? The power of perception in humans is no less formidable than in animals. And I am not forgetting that we are animals too!
Being in love with someone is - in part - or in a crazily wise sense - being upset over that person. The old adage that "familiarity breeds contempt" is not inaccurate - it just leaves out the part that contempt can dwell side by side with love and compassion.
Holding an image of another is both accurate and inaccurate. Despite all the familiarity in the world it can't prevent us from changing constantly whether perceived or not.
Direct awareness of ways in which our perceptions are in error at times cannot preclude the highly functioning system with which we observe, draw conclusions, act or refrain from action - for mental, emotional and physical survival.
What is downright mind boggling is the myriad of delusion that passes for reality in the day to day......
Generally, for myself, it is mirrors warped by greed, hatred, and delusion, bouncing light back and forth... the proof of the pudding is in the mischief that results.
BTW Grandin is amazing eh? My partner works in the Autism field and has heard her speak. Really interesting person.