How to Rekindle Zeal?

Amida

When I was 14 years old I began to meditate; although, I had no idea what meditation was. At that time, I was a Christian and zealously fixed my mind on what I believed to be God's ever presentness, also, I remained in loving-kindness and expressed it towards all things. This brought me into peace and bliss, which lasted a good nine months straight.

At the time, I didn't know I was even practicing meditation. I always thought God came to me in a special way, and that was why I experienced such peace and bliss. After time, the bliss faded away, as my zeal and energy to focus on God's ever presentness and loving-kindness faded. I thought that I had sinned in some way, which caused God's presence to withdraw from me, and I always longed for that bliss and peace to return. I felt I somehow had to return to God in order to partake of this joy again.

Now, I'm 32 and no longer a Christian, and I understand my experience better. I see that Buddhism explains very well why I had bliss. The peace and bliss was the result of accepting things as they are, remaining fixed in the present moment, and remaining in loving-kindness. I see now that it wasn't the presence of a partiular God, but the result of the meditation practice I unknowingly practiced.

Now, that I see the way into this peace and higher state of being, I find the zeal to take up such a diligent practice lacking. Is there any practice or way to rekindle the zeal that drives one into the higher way?

Cinorjer

I'm not sure if it's possible or even necessary to relive that zeal of new discovery. As my practice matured, meditation went from being this remarkable voyage of new discoveries to just sitting quietly when I had the opportunity. The blissful state of deep connection was replaced with a quiet peacefulness that began to be my default state of being.

I guess instead of me going around trying to be a Buddhist, I began living as a Buddhist. Would you say your practice has matured since you started?

Bhagavan

The pleasurable meditative bliss of non attachment over formless and non detachment over form.

Zero

I find the zeal to take up such a diligent practice lacking.
Is there any practice or way to rekindle the zeal that drives one into the higher way?

higher and lower are subjective - by venerating where you want to be as 'higher' than where you are now, you create a whole heap of extra paradoxes to work through.

There need not be a 'drive' to be present in the moment - an absence of drive may suit better.

Same with 'zeal' as with desire, drive, clinging, attachment...

One step at a time in the moment needs nothing but present mindful awareness...

Lady_Alison

Is there a way to rekindle zeal? ... I define zeal as passion for whatever you are doing, or careful attention with joy.

I feel pleasure in many things, not all become a enveloping sense of awe and wonder. Not all make me dance like a dervish. Not all move me.

But if they do, it is wonderful. If they don't, it is simply a quiet peace. Sometimes the state of this zeal will arise naturally without you trying to find it...for me, it comes in seasons, or waves. Followed by stale, tepid states of mind. Followed again by joy, and so on.

Did I ramble? I hope it helped. I know I sometimes talk in colors and feelings.

genkaku

Everyone has their high points and low, their times of determination and times of slump. The short answer to rekindling 'zeal' is this: Go out and sin some more. The unsatisfactory results are the best kindling for a dwindling fire.

Amida

Thanks for the comments. One may never be able to rekindle the thrill and zeal of the first discovery, and that's alright. Plus, as one said, these things flucuate. I guess the main thing is to stay consistent in your practice.

I went years without meditating and am just coming back to it recently. So, I am just like a beginner again.

genkaku

@amida -- That's all that any of us do ... fall down seven times, get up eight.