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I find all assholes have good sides. Or vice versa?
I find all assholes have good sides.
But is it that everyone inherently has a mixture? and you only see the bad or the good depending on yourself and label as such?
I haven't known anybody personally that was all bad or all good.
Thoughts?
But is it that everyone inherently has a mixture? and you only see the bad or the good depending on yourself and label as such?
I haven't known anybody personally that was all bad or all good.
Thoughts?
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Comments
Where would someone enlightened fit into this survey of human goodness?
Sorry if this is a lot of questions, im always learning (:
socks- hah. I figured it got the point across better than saying "mean people"
Ideally you should not strive to be anything, buddhanature is within us all, but we operate under delusion and ignorance, the whole point of the path is to find this nature and not to become something or someone, because you are already that person. Striving could also be seen as clinging to a notion, that will lead to suffering. I have said this many times but you probably have never heard it, but the late and great Ajahn Chah said that to reach nirvana, you should notstrive to get there. In other words, not want to get there.
But seriously, when I say good , I guess i mean clear, empty.
I strive to be nothing in a certain way. I cant explain it well. I've pissed off a lot of friends trying to explain it.
if it is, i want to know what the laxative is!
It all comes down to the fact that everyone is different, and humans aren't perfect. Nature, nurture, and ones unique circumstances and culture is what makes people the way they're. At the end of the day anyone who comes across as a true asshole has to deal with themselves. Sometimes it could be good to walk away and let them deal with themselves. Other times it's better to stand up for yourself, so they know there are consequences to their actions.
You've sort of answered your own question.
i dont know if this is too off topic, or im assuming something wrong, still new here, and to life, please set me straight if this is the case.
In terms of kamma, its easy to see how murder would negatively affect everyone involved. It will lead to sorrow, distress, pain, lamentation, etc. Also, in the Abhisanda Sutta, Buddha explains the rewards of the first precept of abstaining from murder:
"There is the case where a disciple of the noble ones, abandoning the taking of life, abstains from taking life. In doing so, he gives freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of beings. In giving freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of beings, he gains a share in limitless freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, and freedom from oppression. This is the first gift, the first great gift — original, long-standing, traditional, ancient, unadulterated, unadulterated from the beginning — that is not open to suspicion, will never be open to suspicion, and is unfaulted by knowledgeable contemplatives & brahmans. And this is the fourth reward of merit."
"'If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun."
-Dalai Lama
The Vinita-vatthu tells of a story when a monk told an executioner to kill his victims compassionately with a single blow, as opposed to slowly torturing them, Buddha still expelled him from the Sangha. It stated that a recommendation to kill mercifully is still a recommendation to kill - something Buddha would never condone. Even the Kakacupama Sutta recorded the Buddha as saying, "Even if bandits were to carve you up savagely, limb by limb, with a two-handled saw, he among you who let his heart get angered even at that would not be doing my bidding."
Then again, conversely, there is that famous Mahayana story about the ferryboat captain. His boat was carrying 500 Bodhisattvas in the guise of merchants. A certain stowaway planned to kill everyone on board and pirate the ship's cargo. The captain, a Bodhisattva himself, saw the man's murderous intent and realized this crime would result in eons of torment for the murderer. In his impartial compassion, the captain was willing to take hellish torment upon himself by killing the man to prevent karmic suffering that would be infinitely greater than the suffering of the murdered victims. The point here is that he selflessly acted for the greatest good, regardless of the consequences he was bringing upon himself.
Like I said, it is debatable.
Then see how all the labels and the associations are placed on afterwards.
That is karma. Seeing prior to conceptualization is momentary freedom.
Seeing both nakedly is mindfullness practice.
Yes, and irrelevant. Someone who goes out and deliberately and uncaringly hurts others but then comes home and is a loving father and husband to his own family can be said to "have a good side". Monsterous acts are done all the time by regular people like you and me.
And regular, normal old asshole-dom is something everyone is capable of, given the right circumstances.
"Good" and "bad" depend on what side you're standing on.
Therefore, depending on where you're standing, one may be an asshole or not.
Also I can see people that would consider me an asshole. Sometimes I really could have done something different and other times it was something they would not or could not understand. However much we accept that we will be an asshole sometimes I think that compassion and empathy means we can see how another person would experience the situation rather than just being self defensive.
There is that uncle who was a miserable asshole his whole life... then at his funeral it is revealed that he used to donate old cloths to the Salvation Army ... and everyone gets all glowy about how he was really a saint, even though donating old clothes to the Salvation Army was an ordinary thing to do.
We also need to notice (and reflecting on Tom's thread about negativity) the people who are consistently doing good things. That is kinda hard.
So I commented on something awhile ago about praise vs encouragement. Praise is a simple 'good job' but encouragement is 'those clothes went to some people who really needed them' (without a good/bad judgement.
I am thinking about the correlations with our practice and the day I had yesterday with a rough group of kids. If we are getting away from the dichotomy of good/bad and away from outside judgements of our actions then encouragement is a valuable tool, and one we don't automatically know. As we are always encouraged to learn from our own experience rather than following anothers belief then being able to provide for others a chance to reflect on their actions rather than judging good/bad is a small way to put our practice into practice. Still thinking this one out,...
Still, it's worth trying to find honorable and worthy traits in assholes. They may be buried deeply behind layers of hate and ill will, but there is something there that we can find and make us realize that they, too, are people worthy of lovingkindness.
It's definitely easier said than done. Practice is a constant, constant effort.
Everybody is an asshole some of the time.
It's all a matter of timing.
The Heart Sutra says 'no path' but yet a path still appears. What that 'no' means is not to cling to the emptiness/form. You are shown that form is emptiness and then told 'no' which is often misunderstood. Nihilism. Even a path unrelated to the Dharma appears. The path of the padowan or the path of the creator. The path of the comedian and the path of the analyst. No path but yet the path appears.
If someone sees the paths they might make the one of the first steps which is to see that what they are doing is causing harm. Yet they might be in a situation that is too difficult for them. In their life. Such as what I took from AHeerdt's post that I really found warming.
Thoughts are luminous and alive and have power. There is power not just causal chains and webs. Our words create karma and you just own your karma. If I am going to be an asshole I will do it full force. Not divided. That's a latter step. Yet I still have to go back to the empty beginning at times because the net of ignorance also is powerful and I have limitless karma creating such.
But to me, it isn't whether they have good points and are somewhat redeemable, it's at what point they cross the line and they just aren't worth the stress any more.
I said that the leader had said something about an oak table (was what I got) and this leader also invited me to come to cavalry church where he also lead a meeting. The ego has power. AA has power. The girl scouts (like camping activities and badges earning) has power with their magic cookies they sell (these are decadent) :dunce: cap. Lincoln has power. Federica has power. etc..
You have power just asking me your question
Power corrupts and that is why Buddhists purify their motivation before giving the power of their Dharmic bodies to other beings.
then why be offended for or against? there is no agent in both subject or object.
so there is no asshole. there is only actions which are perceived. these action are attributed to a being or subject. but the actions do not originated purely from a subject. the actions originated from causes and conditions.
the christian's would say hate the sin not the sinner.
just some thoughts.
In that light People behaving that away is them expelling that which weighs them down.
Equally the both generally smell bad, we generally don't like it, avoid it, but they have their purpose. You can utilize both in see impure, sometimes painful things.
For me it's all about how you view the experience and what you learn from it. Do you learn what foods to avoid by examining the remains or you may learn a behavior to try and avoid. Anyway all of us have one, so embrace it and learn from it and let the smelly unpleasant part pass on by ya as soon as you can.
Part of the human brain is reptilian, one that only sees threats and survival, me, mine or I. This week a co-worker said something hurtful to me, I became angry and wanted to hold onto my anger like it was gold. Then I remembered this other facet of the human brain, the ability to be aware, the one that knows I am going to die, the one that has the ability to be compassionate, to be sympathetic and to look beyond itself. And forgiveness and healing came. My mind was no longer disturbed. There is never perfection, that is an illusion. But we have the ability to be mindful, to cultivate that ability, and realize our states and our frame of mind. It's the path we take, what we choose to cultivate- I can grow the reptilian side of my brain, that which seeks only for itself and whose eventual end everytime is pain or one that views the self as just a term and realizes that love and compassion are the greatest goals in life.
Sometimes we need to hear the hard things, so to better lead our lives.
Thinking this way helps me in staying objective on most things, in a way visualize thing as a 3rd person. However being able to do that isn't as great as it may seem, as I am often confused, searching for answer, and left with a lack of full understanding any single thing, thus somewhat insecure.