Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Am I screwing up myself by myself? Please suggest.
you're welcome. i apologise if i sounded very serious but because you had a tendency to follow meditation, i just pushed the relationship agenda strongly
always, an approach of balancing of internal & external responsibilities is best
@misecmisc1; how do you think this has affected your point of view and appreciation of 'Practice'? can you understand our views with regard to your attitude towards your wife and child? how do you think this is now reflected in your practice? Have you implemented any of the points we have suggested to you?
@federica: Oh my God! seems like i am studying in class 1 and the teacher said - have you remembered A B C D till Z as i told you yesterday? have you written them down on your copy 5 times? :rant:
and i will say : Sorry maam, just forgot to remember A B C D till Z. Only remembering A B C D till G :bawl: Please forgive me will bring the copy tomorrow after writing 5 times A till Z
then you will say: Write it 15 times and show me tomorrow :rarr:
then i will say: Sure maam :banghead:
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited March 2012
Damn right!
after people have devoted a great deal of time, trouble, effort and kindness by thinking about your comments, replying, and writing many long, different and thoughtful posts, to try to help you through a problem which is obviously affecting you seriously, a single line with 'thanks for all your help;' doesn't really help us know whether it's all been worth it. Does it?
after people have devoted a great deal of time, trouble, effort and kindness by thinking about your comments, replying, and writing many long, different and thoughtful posts, to try to help you through a problem which is obviously affecting you seriously, a single line with 'thanks for all your help;' doesn't really help us know whether it's all been worth it. Does it?
Sorry maam, you are correct. just one line reply is not worth it. please please please give me some time, will reply to your questions :bawl:
Also now afraid that if i ask something now, you or some other member will come out of the computer screen and beat me saying - stupid, why don't you understand what we tell you? :aol:
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
no.We have never done that, either for you, or anyone else.
That would be shocking and appallingly bad manners. And i am here to make sure such things Do Not Happen. the whole thing is though, that this is an interactive discussion forum, and we like to know how our members are getting along. Many of our members have had some serious issues and problems to share, that we have all mutually supported and sympathised with. That's why were here. but we like to know that all our members are doing well, and progressing with their lives in a happy way.
so take all the time you need - - but let us know how you have moved forward. it's not just curiosity. We happen to care.
no.We have never done that, either for you, or anyone else.
That would be shocking and appallingly bad manners. And i am here to make sure such things Do Not Happen. the whole thing is though, that this is an interactive discussion forum, and we like to know how our members are getting along. Many of our members have had some serious issues and problems to share, that we have all mutually supported and sympathised with. That's why were here. but we like to know that all our members are doing well, and progressing with their lives in a happy way.
so take all the time you need - - but let us know how you have moved forward. it's not just curiosity. We happen to care.
Thanks for this support :thumbsup:
So coming back to your questions now - it is going to be slow - as your questions involve a much broader aspect:
how do you think this has affected your point of view and appreciation of 'Practice'?
So currently trying to understand Middle Way. Got that much that it is to avoid 2 extremes of only enjoying sense pleasures and extreme asceticism leading to self-annihilation. trying to understand whether love is involving attachment, means is the love towards family-members different from love towards strangers on road - or caring towards family-members different from caring towards strangers on road? i think these are different because of attachment towards first. is this thinking wrong? If wrong, then please rectify it. Thanks in advance.
Hi All, Any replies to above post, please. Thanks in advance.
Now take all our advice, shove it in a drawer to think about later if you feel like it, and don't be so hard on yourself. You're trying. You might fall on your face once in a while. All Buddhism demands is that you make the effort to improve how you deal with yourself, with other people, and the world. That's more than most people ever do.
You can overthink anything and tie yourself into knots. Avoid anger and jealousy and destructive emotions and actions. Try to be patient with yourself and others, and think about their happiness once in a while. That's the Middle Way.
...if my wife and my daughter of 11 months leave me, my whole world will fall apart and i felt as if my life from within me is leaving me. This lead me to realize how deep attachment i have towards my wife and my small daughter.
yes...this is a perfect example of Dependent Origination (DO)
"my" wife & "my" daughter = self-view or attachment, which have resulted in "birth" (jati). jati is the accumulation or taking possession of the aggregates. here, the hallucination of self has taken possession of five internal aggregrates, ten external aggregates and the myriad proliferations of a multitude of aggregates in the form of multitudes of thoughts, feelings, desires, perceptions & all round identification
due to all of this attachment, becoming & birth, there arises aging-death-sorrow-lamentation-pain-grief-despair & the whole mass of suffering
as perfectly articulated: " my whole world will fall apart and i felt as if my life from within me is leaving me"
please do not deceive yourself with esoteric superstition that there is no doer and no experiencer
without self-halluciation, there cannot be suffering. the spiritually dying man is the experiencer
And what is birth? Whatever birth, taking birth, descent [falling for], coming-to-be, coming-forth, acquisition of aggregates & [sense] media, appearance of the various beings [husband, wife, hell beings, hungry ghosts, etc] in this or that group of beings, that is called birth.
Now what is aging and death? Whatever aging, decrepitude, brokenness, graying, wrinkling, decline of life-force, weakening of the faculties of the various beings in this or that group of beings, that is called aging. Whatever deceasing, passing away, breaking up, disappearance, dying, death, completion of time, break up of the aggregates [breaking up of relationships of clinging], casting off of the body, interruption in the life faculty of the various beings in this or that group of beings, that is called death.
For him — infatuated, attached, confused, not remaining focused on their drawbacks — the five clung-to-aggregates head toward future accumulation. The craving that makes for further becoming — accompanied by passion & delight, relishing now this & now that — grows within him. His bodily disturbances & mental disturbances grow. His bodily torments & mental torments grow. His bodily distresses & mental distresses grow. He is sensitive both to bodily stress & mental stress.
There is the case where an uninstructed, run-of-the-mill person — who has no regard for noble ones, is not well-versed or disciplined in their Dhamma; who has no regard for men of integrity, is not well-versed or disciplined in their Dhamma — assumes form (the body) [and external forms] to be the self, or the self as possessing form, or form as in the self, or the self as in form. He is seized with the idea that 'I am form' or 'Form is mine.' As he is seized with these ideas, his form changes & alters and he falls into sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress & despair over its change & alteration.
Comments
always, an approach of balancing of internal & external responsibilities is best
metta
and i will say : Sorry maam, just forgot to remember A B C D till Z. Only remembering A B C D till G :bawl: Please forgive me will bring the copy tomorrow after writing 5 times A till Z
then you will say: Write it 15 times and show me tomorrow :rarr:
then i will say: Sure maam :banghead:
after people have devoted a great deal of time, trouble, effort and kindness by thinking about your comments, replying, and writing many long, different and thoughtful posts, to try to help you through a problem which is obviously affecting you seriously, a single line with 'thanks for all your help;' doesn't really help us know whether it's all been worth it.
Does it?
Also now afraid that if i ask something now, you or some other member will come out of the computer screen and beat me saying - stupid, why don't you understand what we tell you? :aol:
That would be shocking and appallingly bad manners.
And i am here to make sure such things Do Not Happen.
the whole thing is though, that this is an interactive discussion forum, and we like to know how our members are getting along.
Many of our members have had some serious issues and problems to share, that we have all mutually supported and sympathised with.
That's why were here.
but we like to know that all our members are doing well, and progressing with their lives in a happy way.
so take all the time you need -
it's not just curiosity.
We happen to care.
So coming back to your questions now - it is going to be slow - as your questions involve a much broader aspect: So currently trying to understand Middle Way. Got that much that it is to avoid 2 extremes of only enjoying sense pleasures and extreme asceticism leading to self-annihilation. trying to understand whether love is involving attachment, means is the love towards family-members different from love towards strangers on road - or caring towards family-members different from caring towards strangers on road? i think these are different because of attachment towards first. is this thinking wrong? If wrong, then please rectify it. Thanks in advance.
Any replies to above post, please. Thanks in advance.
You can overthink anything and tie yourself into knots. Avoid anger and jealousy and destructive emotions and actions. Try to be patient with yourself and others, and think about their happiness once in a while. That's the Middle Way.
"my" wife & "my" daughter = self-view or attachment, which have resulted in "birth" (jati). jati is the accumulation or taking possession of the aggregates. here, the hallucination of self has taken possession of five internal aggregrates, ten external aggregates and the myriad proliferations of a multitude of aggregates in the form of multitudes of thoughts, feelings, desires, perceptions & all round identification
due to all of this attachment, becoming & birth, there arises aging-death-sorrow-lamentation-pain-grief-despair & the whole mass of suffering
as perfectly articulated: " my whole world will fall apart and i felt as if my life from within me is leaving me"
please do not deceive yourself with esoteric superstition that there is no doer and no experiencer
without self-halluciation, there cannot be suffering. the spiritually dying man is the experiencer