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8 therapeutic lifestyle changes
zenff
Veteran
Our employer sent us this note.
He wants us to be happy.
Happy workers are more productive.
We always complain about all kinds of work related issues;
like bad office climate,
the idiots we have for managers,
the liars and cheaters we have to deal with.
But that’s all beside the point.
We can be happy in spite of that.
We just need to make some lifestyle changes.
Here they come:
He wants us to be happy.
Happy workers are more productive.
We always complain about all kinds of work related issues;
like bad office climate,
the idiots we have for managers,
the liars and cheaters we have to deal with.
But that’s all beside the point.
We can be happy in spite of that.
We just need to make some lifestyle changes.
Here they come:
The idiots we have for managers came up with something sensible, don't you agree?
1. Be friendly
2. Move
3. Cherish spirituality
4. Eat healthy
5. Relax
6. Spend time in nature
7. Enjoy
8. Nurture your relationships
0
Comments
Does your work ever have 'team building' exercises, company weekends, that kind of thing?
In fact I don’t think I heard any person say a word about it.
Okay, two weeks ago this employer launched plans to close more than half of the offices (without sacking people, just moving them to other jobs and places).
Occasionally we talk about the salaries which have been frozen for two years now and are not very likely to go up with inflation for the years to come.
But that’s part of the work related stuff, remember!
(I know; things could be very much worse in this crisis we’re in. I’m not complaining at all.)
We do teambuilding once a year or so. And next thing up is a two-day training in professional attitude. These trainings are boring.
What I find particularly good are the physical points; eating healthy, moving, ”nurturing our relationship” (very subtly put).
Buddhists may have a blind spot for the physical factors and be overly focused on mental factors.
I liked the "spend time in nature" one.
Is it just me or does helpful advice sometimes sound like all the words are beautifully well intentioned but ultimately don't make any sense?
So I'd like to slightly modify the OP's advice to stuff I can understand. Thus:
1. Be friendly unless they're hostile, in which case, avoid them if you can but don't let them know you're avoiding them.
2. Move
3. Look on the bright side
4. Eat healthily but with the odd treat
5. Relax any way you find relaxing
6. Spend time in nature
7. Enjoy stuff
8. Appreciate your friends and loved ones and spend time with people who make you happy
Also,
9. Don't be a doormat. That's idiot compassion
10. Always be open to learning something new
11. Learn to take pleasure in other people's achievements as well as your own - its' much more fun!
12. Don't expect people to be perfect, including yourself.
About the “Be friendly unless” and avoiding.
That’s probably fine and all depends very much on the individual case. But there’s something in general that I thought about.
The training I mentioned (in professional attitude) is titled something like “Tough on content and soft on relation”. And the whole idea is precisely to remain friendly (relationship) while having a conflict (content). It’s not the first time this theme came up. We’ve had a training before in which we had to learn to see how content influences the atmosphere and the relationship and vice versa. How we tend to focus on content and ignore what’s going on outside of that. We learned how to see the person; ask about their feelings; read the body-language; and remain “calm and assertive” ourselves (calm and assertive is from Cesar Milan; never mind that).
In our work we can’t avoid unfriendly people. We can’t avoid people we don’t like. That’s a good challenge. I wouldn’t put avoiding (without letting them know we are avoiding them) in the list. In the particular case you’re thinking of maybe it’s smart but as a rule I’d say it’s too much fear-based and not contributing to happiness.
I think that covers your rule 9. I think 10 to 12 are good additions.
I’m not sure what exactly they mean with the spirituality. There’s a little book involved and I have to get it first.
Apparently this little book refers a lot to scientific research. I think I remember reading somewhere about research concluding that people tend to be happier when they have some kind of religious notion about life, what it is about and where it is leading us. Maybe they refer to that kind of thing.
Such religious notions help us in accepting problems in life, and offer a happy ending to our story.
I think though that there’s spirituality in fully accepting our not-knowing; in surrendering to life as it is and in meditation. I like to think that this type of spirituality contributes to my happiness too.
I foresee some easy negativity like “yeah, right now I would be happy with a clean toilet”.
But this kind of negativity often is just surface. I’ll try and pierce it.
For instance, I'm mentoring a young woman. One of the things that has happened to her is that she was severely bullied at work, to the point when she effectively had a breakdown.
My advice to her is that no job is worth your sanity: you do what you can to resolve the situation, but if that fails, sometimes your only recourse is to find a new job. Which isn't easy in this day and age (problem is, the bullies know that).
Most importantly, if you encounter cruel people in your life, remember that they are the ones with the problem, not you. If you start blaming yourself for being a victim, all is lost.
I tend to agree with your definition of spirituality. I find far too often, when you read corporate material on wellbeing, they equate spirituality with being religious, and that is often code for Christian. Which might be why people like ourselves get left behind. I don't think I compartmentalise my life into 'spiritual' and 'non-spiritual'. To others, meditation, studying dharma, going to retreats and Buddhist celebrations at the Buddhist centre are all 'spiritual', but to me, my practice is 24/7, ordinary life, or at least that is the intention (I'm aiming towards that goal).
I am currently working in a setting where real team spirit exists. We are comfortable admitting it when we have painted ourselves into a corner and asking others for help when needed. It's about feeling comfortable enough to be genuine with each other.
So we had the open conversations, I was impressed at how honest people were. That part was good, and then we did some teambuilding every week to kinda bring people together. Most of the time we do not know each others experience and I thought it woudl build respect among the team. They finally 'clicked' I thought when they started informally getting to know each other.
So it still exploded, some people got moved and I was against that but I am much better now. The newest person apparently said things he should not have in front of the kids about why staff was moved. He didn't say that while I was there 3 days so he knows better. I am NOT happy.
It still comes down to people being willing, at all levels, to own up to what they need to do and what they are actually doing. None of us are going to get it all right. So lately I have been recommending (in my head only) that staff go to counseling instead of trying more teambuilding, although with a team that is moderately struggling I still believe in many things we do such as share expectations, have open and honest meetings, and add some very selective teambuilding for those specific team issues.
During interviews, prospective teachers basically agree to follow school procedures and programs and curriculum. Then they sign a contract to do so. Then when they start working they get upset that they can't teacher what they want to teach in the way they want to teach it. This is one of the issues that can lead to staff morale issues, when you have those who think they are independent, and those who are actually part of the team.
I had one school where the staff stood together off to the side and talked about the kids in spanish. Hmm, and then when I went there they would run up to tell me how bad a kid was. So one exercise we did was on 'delightful' and 'other delightful' to see positive qualities even in the kids that challenge us. I was surprised by who they chose. It was part of changing an entire culture of child development from just consequences and teacher focused to more asking, listening and involving the children in creating their program rules and buying into it.
I think that is part of many of these team issues, managers often see their role as enforcing rather than realizing part of the job is getting buy-in especially with changes. I am not sure it is alwasy possible but I encourage that in my front line managers.
It is all part of Samsara, unfortunately.
I have had some comments on how I handled this changeover. I had lots of questions from the new-ish people (they were already doing half of their new roles) and some of them in meetings. So I was able to answer them effectively. My sup tends to take over and talk over so knowing that I jump in more, she never gets offended when someone else does that and waiting for the 'polite moment' with her will get you struggling. In any case after that one person in the same job as me who has done this for years said she could see me supervising them. I would like that role, we have 4 new schools next year in the community school model of extended day programs for students and community. I think that 4 start ups need their own supervisor honestly rather than the person already supervising 9 ongoing schools. Then there is the data job for the lady who is having twins any day now but that does not have any program contact.
Some had ideas about extending the list, and some thought it just stated the obvious (the expression which was used is “kicking down an open door”).
Part of the list was considered “woolen socks” which means it is too hippie-like.
No-one was surprised about rule number 1.
Being friendly contributes to our happiness.
I always thought that this was a brilliant observation but now I know that it’s just kicking down an open door.