Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
gratitude
genkaku
Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
Reading another thread, it occurred to me that "gratitude" is a pretty insistent and sometimes pushy encouragement in Buddhism. Friends and enemies alike may say things like, "you should feel grateful." But the fact of the matter is that "should" and "grateful" are like oil and water ... they simply don't mix. You either feel grateful or you don't ... it's pretty simple and no amount of virtuous flag-waving is likely to change that simplicity.
Still, feeling grateful -- the honest kind, not the dig-my-virtue kind -- is a wonderful feeling. It just feels good and, since it does some good as well, maybe, without getting too iron-fisted about it, gratitude is worth nourishing, even if it's only pretend. I think one way to seed the garden is to take a little time -- not a lot of time, just a little time -- each day to reflect on various adventures. Just reflect. Was there a lesson learned in a cup of spilled coffee; was there a pleasant word that was offered or received; did the car look better after the car wash; and how about the broken shoelace?
Just a little time each day to reflect and consider. No need to slap the virtue of gratitude on top of something you don't really feel grateful for. Just snoop the terrain and see if there wasn't one thing or another that was a small bit of good fortune ... something that was overlooked at the moment it occurred.
A little time each day. Just a little time. No need to ruin a perfectly natural thing by twisting it into something unnatural. Just take a little time each day. And if there is nothing that stands out today ... do it again tomorrow ... and see what happens.
My guess is that even without pasting 'Buddhism' or 'Christianity' or some other glowing gizmo on top of it all, bit by bit there really may be quite a lot to be grateful for. Not everything, just yet, perhaps, but a few things here and there.
Just noodling. What's your take on gratitude?
0
Comments
Most would say that I'm somehow damaged for the way I see gratitude at the moment.
But I think gratitude begins with a feeling .... real gratitude is something you feel and then act on.
I'm also grateful for her friendship as she well knows that I would do the same if she ever needed anything from me.
I know this doesn't exactly answer the most general question "What is gratitude?", but it reminds me that there are little things each day for which we should all be grateful.
Like our breath.
In those bigger moments of loss I could see more clearly that, in the past, I had learned to eat shit and like it.
It was through these big moments of losing that my tastes suddenly changed; I was no longer the loser wrapped up in petty dramas & bitter disputes over nothing. I bettered myself at what expense? I helped nobody else and attracted only sycophants, worshippers of fools gold.
hey, I'm in a bit of a dark mood today. never mind
Off to do some chores now
Somehow in life a door always opens. Something comes together. A connection is made.
.... a real need is met. Somehow. Sounds new-agey... but.
I will have to try to get a copy, because part of it was taken from a wonderful book - so i cannot, and will not take all the credit. but it would be appropriate here....
I have quite a selective memory sometimes. Not saying you did it on purpose but my subconcious can be a bit sneaky or a bit handy depending on how you look at it.
@RichardH
Thanks, It does makes sense.
@federica
I hope you post it. Looking forward to that.
It's a soft fluffy feeling; healthy.
This weekend one of my sponsees was full of gratitude when I dropped him off after an A.A. meeting. He said something along the lines of, "I'm so glad you're in my life!" He's been through some tough times; even living on the streets. That also filled me with gratitude.
Yeh, gratitude is great; it's a better mindstate to have than anything negative - it's a good feeling, and feeling conditions intention - so it should encourage us to be kinder human beings; that's gratitude in action.