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A webpage for hating on people?
still_learning
Veteran
Wow, I was shocked this weekend. I was hanging with my GF at one of her friends' house. Afterwards my GF told me that friend and a small circle of people have a webpage where they talk shit about two particular people.
Now, we're all adults between 29 to 35, I thought people would have stopped doing childish things like that by now.
What's even worse is that those 2 people are regularly invited to their events. When my GF asked why they would even invite those 2 people if they weren't liked, the "circle's" response was that it gives them entertainment.
At this point, my GF was worried if they secretly hate her too. I, on the other hand could care less. We weren't close friends with the "circle" anyway.
I've met these 2 hated persons, they are a couple, the BF did seem like a jerk, but the GF was just a little weird. Still, that does not warrant a dedicated webpage to hate on them.
My first reaction was, don't they have better things to do, but I would guess that the people in the "circle" have extreme self-esteem issues and make themselves feel better by putting others down. Kinda like the movie "Mean Girls."
I told my GF that we should be glad that we're not close friends with them, because I don't want either of us to be around such negative people.
I know stuff like this is definitely possible, but it is just still very shocking to hear about it.
Now, we're all adults between 29 to 35, I thought people would have stopped doing childish things like that by now.
What's even worse is that those 2 people are regularly invited to their events. When my GF asked why they would even invite those 2 people if they weren't liked, the "circle's" response was that it gives them entertainment.
At this point, my GF was worried if they secretly hate her too. I, on the other hand could care less. We weren't close friends with the "circle" anyway.
I've met these 2 hated persons, they are a couple, the BF did seem like a jerk, but the GF was just a little weird. Still, that does not warrant a dedicated webpage to hate on them.
My first reaction was, don't they have better things to do, but I would guess that the people in the "circle" have extreme self-esteem issues and make themselves feel better by putting others down. Kinda like the movie "Mean Girls."
I told my GF that we should be glad that we're not close friends with them, because I don't want either of us to be around such negative people.
I know stuff like this is definitely possible, but it is just still very shocking to hear about it.
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Comments
You can't change them, but I would suggest divorcing them from your lives.
Do not associate with evil companions;
do not seek the fellowship of the vile.
Associate with the good friends;
seek the fellowship of noble men.
~ Dhammapada
See what happens if you try to be kind to these two. What will the circle do about it? They can't stop you from acting on your good intentions. It might be just the thing to do.
There are other many many ways to boost your self esteem. I feel sorry them them because they don't know what that.
@LeonBasin I'm glad you got over it. I imagine you could have been really damaged as a teenager. I think I would have sank into some kind of depression if that happened to me.
:bawl:
(just teasing
good points. But I don't plan on getting involved much with any of these people. I don't see them very often. I'll tread carefully when I do. As for my interaction with the 2 people, I'll be cordial when I see them.
Anyhow I was with that girl and she asked me about the dance and I said I wasn't going. Then later I went with a different girl just sort of happened.
My car had a huge hole in the side of it, true story, from an accident I had gotten into. The first girl who I had apparently lied to climbed in through the hole and wrote in lipstick shit all over the place.
Then I think their guy friends slashed all of my tires.
Then Jackie's friend the next year asked me out after I had another break up and I said no that because my tires were slashed. But all these people were really cool people in some ways and I miss them.
So that's what you get for creating karma. Internet just adds some distance for them rather than egging or toilet papering.
Another time I helped a girl wrap toilet paper around her ex boyfriends car. There is a dark side to people congregating. It's called mob mentality.
I'd be upset too if I discovered some of my friends were doing this.
I personally would revalue her these people are that you hang around with. You said that you were there with your girlfriend so it is not going to be so easy to simply leave the entire group at the drop of a hat, but it still requires some deliberation.
I'm big headed enough as it is.
That's what I'd do, who gives a care if they add you to the list of "most hated people" all it is is some lowlives spouting distasteful junk on the internet. In other words, it is exactly like the 90% of the internet, that is not porn. Just let them alone, you know? if your GF does not want to stop being friends with them, it might be time to have a talk with her.
I've already told my GF that I don't want to be around them, but she's a people pleaser and wants EVERYONE to like her. I'm trying to wean her off that kind of thinking. :P
Yeah, mob mentality sucks. I think half of the people in the circle wouldn't do something like that if they were on their own.
The people being talked about have a right to know about this. They think these people are their "friends" - they should know the truth.
I was in a imilar situation - we'd been friends over 10 years, but she said some seriously hurtful (and untrue) things about me to a mutual friend. The mutual friend told me, to allow me to deal with the situation. Believe me, I did. Know what she said hurt, but it gave me the chance to make an educated decision, which was a good thing.
I hope, if these people sit around and talk about these poor people (in person) behind their backs, you don't sit there silently.
i know you mean well but i would becareful how you deal with your girlfriend. You don't want to sound like a father figure and tell her what to do. She needs to realize that it's wrong on her own. Otherwise she will stop hanging out with them to please you and not because it's the right thing to do and then resent you for it.
you can't forbid her to do something.
Mean girls grow up into mean women.
OP, I would definitely persuade your gf to get new friends. Some people just like to have enemies, someone to focus on for anger issues. My ex roommate was like that. We systematically went through two female roommates in this particular room, both of which couldn't handle her anymore and subletted the room, but finally, this awesome guy moved in that nobody could hate... so I became the new scapegoat. If provoked, I can be a real bitch, so it wasn't as huge of an issue for me as for some people... But I did draw the line when she tried to punch me in the face one night... But I digress. Some people just need to have enemies in their lives, what if those friends stopped hanging out with that circle? They would probably find a new scapegoat to make fun of because they enjoy it. I don't like people that constantly make you wonder if they mean what they say.
As for my GF being a people pleaser towards me and me telling her not to hang out with these friends, that's not a problem. Around me, she is not a people pleaser. She feels safe around me, so with me she takes her time to think about what she wants to do and make up her own mind.
Am I making any sense?
Sometimes she seems like a people person because she likes being around people, but sometimes if she doesn't like the cut of someone's jib, she'll speak about them like she's trying to rip them a new one (behind their backs).
In terms of empathy, she has a hard time putting on other people's shoes. She always assumes by default that a person doesn't like her (a weird way of playing it safe I guess?). Sometimes she feels stupid or awkward about herself in certain situations, and at the same time she has a hard time understanding that others could feel the same way too. She always assumes that she messed up, and other people know what they're doing.
She's a people pleaser because assumes that she is not liked and has to take action to make sure they like her, because she needs to be liked by pretty much everyone.