Our happiness depends on that of others

person

Among all the clumsy, blind and extreme ways we go about building happiness, one of the most sterile is egocentrism. “When selfish happiness is the only goal in life, life soon becomes goalless,” wrote Romain Rolland. Even if we display every outward sign of happiness, we can never be truly happy if we dissociate ourselves from the happiness of others. This in no way requires us to neglect our own happiness. Our desire for happiness is as legitimate as anyone else’s. And in order to love others, we must learn to love ourselves. It’s not about swooning over the color of our own eyes, our figure or some personality trait, but about giving due recognition to the desire to live each moment of existence as a moment of meaning and fulfillment. To love oneself is to love life. It is essential to understand that we make ourselves happy in making others happy.

In brief, the goal of life is a deep state of well-being and wisdom at all moments, accompanied by love for every being, and not by that individual love that modern society relentlessly drums into us. True happiness arises from the essential goodness that wholeheartedly desires everyone to find meaning in their lives. It is a love that is always available, without showiness or self-interest. The immutable simplicity of a good heart.

http://www.matthieuricard.org/en/index.php/blog/213_our_happiness_depends_on_that_of_others/

lamaramadingdong

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
The Dalai Lama

Talisman

When I am feeling down about myself, I find that helping others and making them happy immediately helps me as well. It's a beautiful thing.

It's funny because in one of my classes we actually just had a test about developmental psychology and they were talking about how kids 2-7 still haven't overcome egocentrism and are unable to view things from other people's perspective. It's kind of strange to think about. It's impossible for children to care about anyone except themselves =P

Lady_Alison

It seems like I haven't grown up, then. Lol.

When I am feeling down about myself, I find that helping others and making them happy immediately helps me as well. It's a beautiful thing.

It's funny because in one of my classes we actually just had a test about developmental psychology and they were talking about how kids 2-7 still haven't overcome egocentrism and are unable to view things from other people's perspective. It's kind of strange to think about. It's impossible for children to care about anyone except themselves =P

Talisman

It's more literal in the developmental sense =P As in if I am looking at one side of a sheet of paper with the letter B on it and a child in front of me is looking at the other side of the paper with the letter A on it, and the child has been given the opportunity to see both sides, when I ask her "what do I see" she will say "the letter A" even though I'm really seeing the letter B.

They also don't understand the rules of conservation or reversibility.

person

@Talisman You might like this video, the presenter is a developmental psychologist and neuroscientist. Or download it here.

octinomos

others aren't really others, they're a part of us manifesting itself as outer reality... in reality there's no outer reality and no division between any one thing and any other.