does anyone else frequently re-playout events or conversations?

yangster58

I have a problem where i constantly think about what i said or did a couple of minutes or hours ago. Especially when i embarrass myself, i will think about that moment over and over again to make myself believe that it wasn't actually that bad. Even when i say something funny, i will replay the joke in my mind. Does anyone else do this? And how do i stop ?

person

Yes, and I don't know.

*wait, is that the right answer. I should have said something like meditate more, yeah that's better, everyone will like me more if I give a Buddhist sounding answer. Dang it! Just missed the edit timer, now everyone will probably make fun of me for giving such a lame answer. *

Zero

In my inexpert opinion it may be a sign of anxiety and a little paranoia...

You may want to speak to a professional and explore why you feel embarrassed or find yourself in embarrassing situations and how to express yourself comfortably and contemporaneously - this may assist to allow you to not dwell around anxieties.

If you're taking mind altering substances regularly then you may be fleeting between different consciousnesses - this can lead to anxiety loops mixed with paranoia.

federica

Buddhist schmuddhist...
this might help you realise it's actually extremely common....

Cam

I've grown up doing exactly this. It comes down to anxiety issues and a fear of being wrong in my case. I was raised under a mentality that it's shameful to be wrong, and as such my mind would constantly revist and playback situations, searching for any mistakes no matter how minor - and then shame me (which almost actually physically hurts)

I'm 18 now, and it still very much happens, but much like I acknowledge and move on from mind-chatter or distractions when I'm meditating, I acknowledge that my mind is trying to search for reasons to shame itself, and move on from it when it happens. Through doing that I've gradually reduced the severity of it, and I believe eventually I'll be able to stamp it out completely.

It's important to try and find the root of it for you. As I mentioned, for me it was because of how I've been raised - my father was raised the same way, a perfectionist mentality. Once you've found the root, you need to use it to sort of reason with yourself when it happens.

taiyaki

I tend to go oVer negative things that i've done via body, speech and mind. I have lots of regret.

I was told regret was the only negative emotion that actually helps us on our path.

So i have lots of regret which motivates me to try keyword try to be a more open, nicer person.

Also when i do something kind i also think about that and such actions bring up joy and happiness.

One must understand that these are all stories. One starts to cultivate stories worth having and stop placing emphasis on stories not worth having.

It takes time though. Mindfulness of thoughts with time bring about space between thoughts. From there one can start to have another perspective.

ThailandTom

Yep I do this often lol. I also use to but not so much now play out events in my head of what I may say or do in the future. I would do it without thinking, actually speak what I would say in my head and then create some respons of other people. Now I am more mindful of it and it seems to have stopped. However, if I do something really stupid or think of something that turned my face really red even a few years ago, I still feel a sense of 'derrrrr'. But then I remind myself, that has gone and done with. It does not even exist now.

Invincible_summer

@Yangster58: Yes, I used to do this a lot when I had social anxiety issues.

I learned to stop/tone it down A LOT by coming to the realization (after a lot of suffering) that I can't change the past, what's done is done, etc. There's no use replaying the scenario over and over and making yourself stress out over details that maybe other people didn't even notice. Just focus on what you're going to do NOW.

I'd like to say I'm a good Buddhist and i came to that realization through meditating, but I didn't. I was reading about Buddhism at the time, but it just clicked one day that I have to let go of the past.

ThailandTom

@Invincible_Summer that is basically how I cam to that similar realization. Sometimes all it takes is to look around at the world you live in with open eyes and things just click.

DairyLama

I have a problem where i constantly think about what i said or did a couple of minutes or hours ago.

I have this tendency ( I call it "replaying" ), which I think is anxiety-related. Recognising this kind of pattern is a sign of progress, it means you are developing mindfulness. Just observe, no need to judge it.