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Afraid to meditate
I have long wanted to begin a meditation practice for many reasons but always put it off because I am afraid of the negative emotions I might experience while sitting. For the last two hours today I've thought about sitting, and have had the opportunity, but keep trying to occupy my mind with other things, like watching a movie or doing something else. I guess it comes down to me being afraid to finally sit in silence with myself and not like what I see. I'm afraid of feeling things that are always just beneath the surface. Any advice?
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But in all seriousness. The only way out is through.
So face your fears. Face your negative emotions.
I promise that you will survive.
That really hits something in me. Thank you.
Or, perhaps you could try an intermediate step. Although I very occasionally do real meditation, what I do quite often in what I called a "focused thinking walk". I decide ahead of time what aspect of practice I want to think seriously about, then I go for a walk in a somewhat quiet place (it can actually help force concentration if it's not too quiet), and focus down on the topic I chose.
_/\_
"What if I fall off the edge of the earth?"
"What if I lose all my friends?"
Those with a little experience of meditation may snicker and scoff ... but I would say this is serious stuff and deserves respect. Not surrender ... just respect.
Who in their right mind isn't scared stupid by the irrationality of which they know they are capable? On the one hand there is a day-in-and-day-out desire to keep things together, to impress others with our control, or to look in the mirror without flinching. It's an old, old, old habit and meditation seems to threaten to break that habit. And perhaps it will ... or perhaps it won't.
The only way to find out if meditation is really as scarey as we imagine is to give it a whirl. Perhaps just for five minutes ... five minutes, once a day for a week. Just five minutes ... or if that seems to scarey, try three minutes.
Gently, firmly, respectfully ... try it.
Often when you think it will be nice, it turns out a real struggle.
So, fear is a bad advisor. Don't listen to it
Please don't publicly answer that question.
We of the meditative persuasion often suffer the hubris of thinking of meditation as nature's cure all for everything just because that was our experience.
Even if that first sentence does apply to you, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't meditate but there may be some more questions to ask before starting it.
Generally speaking, unless it's a specific guided meditation, nothing will arise within meditation that you are not capable of facing on your own. As you become willing to face something, it will just arise naturally and unfold. If you are not ready to face it, you will be just be practising sitting in a meditative posture until you can. Most forms of meditation are self regulating in terms of what arises and what you can deal with.
I liked the gentle entry suggestion of less threatening exploratory meditation sits until you get the feel for this new ride.
Thank you everyone for your advice and suggestions. I will attempt to make some progress and share my experience with you.
:om: Touch the void... but touch it lightly...
One way to think of it might be this: you've already seen all your brain's negative and positive thoughts (to date); meditation allows you several things: 1) a different perspective on those same positive and negative thoughts, and/or 2) a rest from all this analytical thinking. Minds, like bodies, need rest; even when we are sleeping, often our minds are not resting, but busy at work dreaming.
Yet it doesn't have to be "rest" in the sense of immobility, either; it can be a very vivid, freeing of your thoughts. If you are completely weary, you might appreciate the calm stillness, like floating peacefully in water, comfortable and safe. Once your mind is better rested, you might appreciate what Sogyal Rinpoche describes as, "Sitting like a mountain, let your mind rise and fly and soar."
It usually lasts longer...