New to Buddhism and Meditation: Have trouble coping with little distractions

dep

This might sound a little bit silly, but I failed at my morning meditation because of my dog. Here's what happened this morning.

I sat down to meditate. I closed my eyes and began to become aware of my breathing. So nice. In, 1. Out, 1. In, 2. Out, 2... So forth. Up to 10 and down to 1 again. Then to contemplate on the nothingness of the flower. The table. The sky is the ocean. The ocean, the sky. This moment is wondrous. This very moment is all there is.

Then, in my ears, my dog on the couch next to me... Licking himself. "Ok," I thought. "I can work through this. I will look at my dog with compassion and love. Acceptance. I imagine if I were a dog, I would be doing the same thing." The licking continues. I breathe. In, 1... Out, 1... More licking. Just really not letting up. "I feel anxious. I am irritation. I will breathe through this and come back to myself. The sky... The ocean... The birds..." Licking, licking, licking.

"I will think that this licking represents my inner strife. This licking defines why I need this." I work through it. Continuing -- as does the licking. I pause...

Breathing... Thinking... Anger rising.

Finally I open my eyes and look at my dog. "STOP it!" I shout at him. He stops. I feel suffering for my outburst. It's too late for this session.

My question is: How do I truly let go of these moments? The sound of his licking just worked his way deep in to my brain and -- like nails on a chalkboard -- I couldn't rise above it. Perhaps the solution was to calmly stand up and move to another location to meditate. Yes, I realize that now.

Gui

You didn't fail at meditating. It just ended earlier than you intended. As the wise man said, "shit happens". Let it go. Don't worry about it. Meditate again another time. What you experienced this morning is what we all experience. It's part of the learning experience. Keep on keeping on.

dep

Thank you

Anji

Why not have compassion for your imperfect nature? It too me time to too learn not to engage others in a yelling match and not yell back I've got it down to 92% perfect.The other 8 % I yell back.
So move on and you'll get there .Now that you realize there was an alternate action,you you'll have an opportunity to test it out.

Anji

Gui -you cursed harsh language.You wrote shit! Lol

dep

Thank you Anji! "Why not have compassion for your imperfect nature?" -- That's a great point. I'm looking forward to opportunity to try it out.

genkaku

Alternatively, you might let the dog out and find something else to 'interrupt' your meditation.

The Japanese say, "Fall down seven times, get up eight." Another way of saying "Buddhism" is, "Mistakes R Us."

Gently, firmly ... just continue.

Sabre

First of all, meditation can never fail. It's a learning experience. Sometimes it is not so nice, but this is because we are not enlightend. And so we all have problems from time to time. We just have to sit through it and learn. There is no thing as failing when learning. And then, when we least expect it, suddenly meditation goes very deep.

On a more 'fundamental' level: Sound is just sound. In a way, you allow it to disturb you. Hearing is just hearing, it is in itself not pleasant or unpleasant per se. So if you can distance yourself from hearing, it will not disturb you and will fade out of the mind. This is more easily said than done, of course. It takes training and the will to face your desires and aversions.

You could consider yourself lucky that it is only a small sound like a dog licking that you have to face I live in a noisy neighbourhood in a very old house with wooden floors, in a very crowdy city. Also, I have very loud neighbours. When I meditate, there is always sound. It can be people talking outside, music, TV sets, barking dogs, etc. I could get annoyed by all this very easily sometimes. But there are also always birds to be heard. I noticed I didn't get annoyed by those, so I decided that I will reflect on all sounds like they are the songs of birds. Why does that make it more easy? Birds HAVE to sing, they don't have a choice. Likewise, people talk, shout, listen to crappy music on full volume right above my room, dogs bark only when I'm mediating... they don't have a choice. It is just like this.

In time I've meditated through all kinds of stuff while being very peaceful with it. My neighbours fighting, the sound of movies, I wouldn't even hear it because there was no attachment or aversion to hearing sound. I've even meditated in the middle of a train major station once without hearing a thing. I could also have used earplugs, but I wouldn't have learned what I know now: Sound is just a song of birds.

Now, if you're new to meditation, this may sound strange: that there can be loud sounds, but you don't hear them at all. Even people who meditate for years can easily become annoyed by sounds. I know stories of famous monks who had this. And I must admit, sometimes I also still do. So don't think you're doing something wrong. It takes time and insight to develop this ability. See my post as a bit of an inspiration as to what is possible. In a similar method, the mind can even let go of painful feelings in the body.

Metta!

driedleaf

You might want to try and ask yourself..."Am I being bothered by the dog's licking or am I bothering the dog with my meditation?" If you can accept that you are bothering the dog with your meditation then that irritation will start to settle down.

lamaramadingdong

That's why it's called practice...

Dharmakara

No failure... just find a place where such distractions are less likely to occur.

Jeffrey

Don't be hard on yourself. It's not wrong to pet your dog. Put him in the bathroom if you have to but of course you might hear barks. Pema Chodron teaches openness meditation in which you incorporate all of the environment into your meditation.

But don't be hard on yourseld, not too loose and not too tight.

zenmyste

Depends what kind of meditation you are trying to achieve..

Practising mindfulness in day to day activities is be a form of meditation. But this doesnt require us to sit cross legged..

If your trying to practice the 'sitting cross legged meditations' then ideally this requires us to be somewhere 'quiet' for a start..
Trying to meditate in front of the dog just aint gonna work..

Pick the right times to do the right practice..
Theres a time and a place for everything..

how

Meditating without an expectation that one's space should be quiet, temperate in temperature, free of scent, gently illuminated or comfortable goes a long way in carrying the meditation from the formal posture into daily life. Who would have thought that your meditation teacher could just wave a long tongue around to teach.

Invincible_summer

@dep: I think because you had this idea that meditation is an uninterrupted, distraction-free practice, the "distractions" were too much.

If you accept that the dog is also co-existing with you in that present moment, as are the trees, the wind, the heat from the sun, the sound of the cars passing by, etc etc, then I think you'll find it easier than having this (no offense) erroneous goal of a "perfect" meditation session.

Sabre

Meditating without an expectation that one's space should be quiet, temperate in temperature, free of scent, gently illuminated or comfortable goes a long way in carrying the meditation from the formal posture into daily life. Who would have thought that your meditation teacher could just wave a long tongue around to teach.

I like this reply.


Of course a quit environment is preferable, but if that's not available, to decide not to meditate is unwise. In a noisy environment we can learn that sound doesn't come in uninvited. We hear it because we go after it.

If we see this, meditation in a noisy environment can go perfectly well. In deep concentration, even if there is a thunderstorm, one can't hear it, as this sutta illustrates:

40. "Now at that time, Pukkusa, I had come out of the barn and was walking up and down in thought before the door. And a certain man from the great crowd approached me, respectfully greeted me, and stood at one side.

41. "And I asked him: 'Why, brother, has this great crowd gathered together?' And he answered me: 'Just now, Lord, there was a heavy rain, with thunder rolling, lightning flashing, and thunderbolts crashing. And two farmers who were brothers were killed close by, together with four oxen. It is because of this that the great crowd has gathered. But where, Lord, were you?'

"'I was here, brother.' 'Yet, Lord, did you not see it?' 'I did not see it, brother.' 'But the noise, Lord, you surely heard?' 'I did not hear it, brother.' Then that man asked me: 'Then, Lord, perhaps you slept?' 'No, brother, I was not sleeping.' 'Then, Lord, you were conscious?' 'I was, brother.' Then that man said: 'Then, Lord, while conscious and awake, in the midst of a heavy rain, with thunder rolling, lightning flashing, and thunderbolts crashing, you neither saw it nor heard the noise?' And I answered him, saying: 'I did not, brother.'

42. "And to that man, Pukkusa, came the thought: 'Marvellous it is, most wonderful indeed it is, the state of calmness wherein abide those who have gone forth from the world!' And there arose in him great faith in me, and he respectfully saluted me, and keeping his right side towards me, he went his way."
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.16.1-6.vaji.html

And a quote by Ajahn Chah:

On one occasion I was walking cankama sometime after eleven o'clock at night. There was a festival going on in the village, which was about half a mile from the forest, monastery where I was staying. I was feeling strange, and had been feeling like that since the middle of the day. I was feeling unusually calm and wasn't thinking very much about anything. I was tired from walking meditation, so I went to sit in my small grass-roofed hut. Then just as I was sitting down, I found I had barely enough time to tuck my legs in before my mind went into this deep place of calm. It happened just by itself. By the time I got myself into the sitting posture the mind was already deeply calm and I felt completely firm and stable in the meditation. It wasn't that I couldn't hear the sounds of people singing and dancing in the village; I could still hear them. But at the same time, I could turn my attention inwards so that I couldn't hear the sounds as well. It was strange. When I paid no attention to the sounds there was silence, I couldn't hear anything. But if I wanted to I could hear them and without feeling disturbed. It was as if inside my mind there were two different objects placed side by side, but not connected to one another. I could see that the mind and the object were separate and distinct, just like the water kettle and the spittoon here. As a result I understood that when the mind is calm in samadhi, if you direct your attention towards sounds, you can hear them, but if you remain with the mind, in its emptiness, it remains quiet. If a sound arises into consciousness and you watch what happens, you see that the knowing and the mind-object are quite separate.

Metta!

Jeffrey

I am a paranoid schizophrenic and I still can meditate in distractions.. I hear this from morning when I wake up until I fall asleep.. Here is an example:

Don't advertise...egging him on...langenbrenner after langenbrenner...???... langenbrenner after langenbrenner...langenbrenner after langenbrenner...after langenbrenner after langenbrenner...overhead...topspin lob...underhand....masturbate after masturbation...masturbate in public...republicans and democrats...asshole...masturbation...adversity...you called rolando a mexican...I know you don't feel like it...it's the attitude... oxygen means negative...you're advertising the pyramid...langenbrenner essay...langenbrenner essay...Darren xxxxxxx...watch your vajra energy..have a good weekend...right there...psychotic episode...langenbrenner after langenbrenner...watch ?? amalfi...democrat...crossbow langenbrenner... get your guitar...depression, I know how you feel... langenbrenner after langenbrenner...Darren xxxxxxx...langenbrenner after langenbrenner...topspin lob...your laboratory ??...topspin lob after topspin lob....langenbrenner...oxidation..oxidation..oxymoron...your averaging...langenbrenner after langenbrenner... I work 80 hours a week...going to make it worse...applewhite...applesauce...vajra energy...germany... that's an understatement.. going to give you nightmares...langenbrenner.... that's your negative energy... it increases your oxidation...oxidation number is because your on welfare...oxidation number is arguing...anti-gravity potion...oxidation..anti-gravity potion... you're spitting out numbers now...langenbrenner...

lamaramadingdong

Jeffrey- thank you for the insight. That has to be very hard to live with. Is there anything that helps you? When you are meditating, are you aware of yourself being the observer of this or is it impossible to separate yourself?

DairyLama

My question is: How do I truly let go of these moments?

It sounds like you were doing vipassana meditation by observing your reactions, so a useful session.

buddhajunkie

be grateful for having a dog!

Floating_Abu

Hi @dep

Sounds absolutely fine, just keep up your good practice and don't let the little things bother you. Keep going and you might want to let the dog out next time first if that bothers you.

Namaste,
Abu

dep

Thanks so much for all the kind words everyone. It is very helpful insights. I look forward to my next opportunity to practice.

federica

Confucius he say:

"Walking dog also meditation. But picking up dogshit, lesson in life. Bigger Meditation than just walking dog."

taiyaki

Meditation is a humbling experience.

In a way failure and surrender are two pursuits. Though that is what we are left with.

Thats the point in my opinion.

Then meditation takes its own course. You know when we get out of the way.