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Going along with peer pressure isn't appropriate. In the situation with the lay Forest Sangha group there was a lot of discussion at board meetings, and casually, about the discomfort many new people had with devotional practice.. and the "religious" qualities in general. Many people would say they were investigating Buddhism because it was ...variously.. "a philosophy", "a spiritual path", a way of "wellbeing".. etc. anything but a "religion" with structures and rituals, and, especially, bowing down. We tried accommodation.. whittling down chanting and keeping the shrine very simple and so forth, but still that was too much for some folks. Then we realized that we were bowing to a different kind of peer pressure. The views and feeling behind that pressure, though honest, were mostly aversions and negative associations with "church". That can be talked about, but should not determine how the Sangha operates. So, the ritual.. candles, opening and closing chants , bowing, taking refuge... all that came back, and people were told, basically, "It is what it is", No one was forced to do anything, and new people were told they could just sit quietly and not participate in those aspects if they didn't want to. We could talk about if they wish. explain it's value, but if they really objected , then maybe the Sangha was just not for them...
A very wise approach, I think.
A lot of aversion is based on fear, so I sympathize with those who are averse or fearful towards the tradition they are encountering; however, the sense of entitlement bothers me--this idea that "I'm here now, so change yourself." In a free society, one can establish ones own centers, taking what teachings have been graciously given, and really do whatever one wants with it. Of course this opens a whole new topic, but the point here being that one shouldn't have to take something away from someone else simply because one doesn't want it oneself.
Suggesting that someone should try bowing, is like suggesting that they try meditating. Who knows what it is until one tries. It's never the same thing twice. Both are an effort to let go of attachments. Neither is nessesarily reasoned faith in a teacher. Whether one wants to do it or not is irrelevent. The practise of Buddhism is to try.
Comments
A lot of aversion is based on fear, so I sympathize with those who are averse or fearful towards the tradition they are encountering; however, the sense of entitlement bothers me--this idea that "I'm here now, so change yourself." In a free society, one can establish ones own centers, taking what teachings have been graciously given, and really do whatever one wants with it. Of course this opens a whole new topic, but the point here being that one shouldn't have to take something away from someone else simply because one doesn't want it oneself.
Who knows what it is until one tries. It's never the same thing twice. Both are an effort to let go of attachments. Neither is nessesarily reasoned faith in a teacher.
Whether one wants to do it or not is irrelevent. The practise of Buddhism is to try.