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How can I apply Buddhism to my life?
Hi New Buddhist! I'm totally new here and trying to find a way to incorporate Buddhist teachings in my life. I've been an atheist for as long as I can remember but I've hit a point where I need something just to make me even wake up in the morning. Buddhism is the only thing that actually seems to make sense. I've spent hours online doing research and I really feel that it can help me however I feel like I'm overloaded with information and I'm not even sure where to start. I was told by my doctor that I was bi-polar about a year ago when I decided that I had had enough of my emotions running amok. I'm currently on two different pills to "even" me out. I decided to start going to a local Buddhist center near my house for more guidance.
You see, just recently I hit an all time low that made me want to seek out Buddhism. I've always been prone to depression and I really just want to know how Buddhist view depression and what I can do to help me not be depressed for once in my life. It gets so bad that all I want to do is to give up and just get life over with already. I'm only twenty
But I digress. What made me get so depressed recently was that I met this girl I really liked. We met through a friend while we were at a local amusement park. We started talking and I thought we really liked each other. Then we started holding hands on rollercoasters and eventually we just started holding hands as we walked through the park. I didn't think anything could have possibly gone wrong because I was so happy. But when I tried texting her she just ignored me. I eventually learned through my friend that she had a boyfriend the whole time. I felt like such a fool. The night I found out I totally broke down and all I could think about was offing myself. I know it sounds cliche'. But these things seem to happen to me constantly. I am so prone to getting my heartbroke that I don't even want to be happy anymore because I know I'll just be sad again soon after. Is it so wrong to want to be in a relationship? If it's not relationship troubles making me depressed then it's my work or even my classes in college. There's always something bringing me down.
So my question to you is, how do I apply Buddhism to my life so I'm not always so depressed?
You see, just recently I hit an all time low that made me want to seek out Buddhism. I've always been prone to depression and I really just want to know how Buddhist view depression and what I can do to help me not be depressed for once in my life. It gets so bad that all I want to do is to give up and just get life over with already. I'm only twenty
But I digress. What made me get so depressed recently was that I met this girl I really liked. We met through a friend while we were at a local amusement park. We started talking and I thought we really liked each other. Then we started holding hands on rollercoasters and eventually we just started holding hands as we walked through the park. I didn't think anything could have possibly gone wrong because I was so happy. But when I tried texting her she just ignored me. I eventually learned through my friend that she had a boyfriend the whole time. I felt like such a fool. The night I found out I totally broke down and all I could think about was offing myself. I know it sounds cliche'. But these things seem to happen to me constantly. I am so prone to getting my heartbroke that I don't even want to be happy anymore because I know I'll just be sad again soon after. Is it so wrong to want to be in a relationship? If it's not relationship troubles making me depressed then it's my work or even my classes in college. There's always something bringing me down.
So my question to you is, how do I apply Buddhism to my life so I'm not always so depressed?
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Comments
Also why don't you visit some local Buddhist centres; they often have drop in meditation classes and a dharma talk.
Hopefully someone who knows more will be along to help shortly.
Current research has taken a whole different approach to this hormone (it is not actually a vitamin). Too little, you will suffer from depression and a host of other maladies—even cancers. Here is an excellent site to begin your homework: http://www.vitamindwiki.com/tiki-index.php
One more thing. Beware of antidepressants. They don't really work (they work by the placebo effect according to Harvard researcher Irving Kirsch) yet the organic effect they do have is extremely negative and can lead to suicide.
Right now, start taking about 5,000 IUs of Vitamin D3 a day (My endocrinologist buddy takes this amount). It will take about 4 months for you to get up to the normal level.
When you start feeling better, and you will, then think about Buddhism. Study Buddhism with a happy heart.
While it's nice to study up on Buddhism -- learn a little of the history, the sentiments, the texts and so forth -- still I think you will learn more by visiting your local center, as you plan. As a "Buddhist," you won't get a gold star and no Buddhist I know carries and ID card so s/he can 'prove' it, but Buddhism generally seeps in, so to speak, with experience -- the kind of experience you will be more likely to find at a center than between book covers.
Take your time. Try not to ask from something else what you are not willing to provide. Courage, patience and doubt are your greatest allies.
Best wishes.
PS. Since no one can know your medical or social problems over the internet, I strongly suggest that you take any chemical recommendations with a grain of cautious salt. Those recommendations may be 100% right, but deserve constructive, face-to-face discussion with a doctor or other professional. Just my two cents.
I don't want to argue, I am just presenting a different option or opinion. But drugs are dangerous and change your body.
And just out of curiosity what does meditation actually do?
More directly, it'll eat you for breakfast.
Meds, therapy, holistic medicine (with the approval of your physician, obviously) meditation... Get as many things in your arsenal to fight the depression with. You don't have to pick one or the other, do everything you can.
Meditation can definitely help with depression, but it takes time and practice so don't get disheartened. I know I often do. But I've found it helps to calm my mind, and sometimes even gives me a boost of energy. It's very positive, but it's also the kind of thing you really have to try for yourself.
But you don't have to put all your eggs in one basket. Meditate, medicate, and I hope you feel better soon.
With kindness,
Sabre
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-skeptical-sleuth/201203/irving-kirsch-d-j-vu-all-over-again
To practice tolerance simply reflect deeply on the consequences of intolerance, i.e. understand what happens when you express anger. Firstly, when anger is expressed to another individual you do not know how that person will be harmed nor can you control how that person will be harmed. The anger you express - even if you feel it is 100% justified - could be the straw that broke the camel's back and lead them to committing suicide... it sounds extreme, but I wonder how many people have been that final straw, and wished upon their soul that they had not reacted how they did. To me, even this tiny possibility is sufficient to motivate great tolerance in me.
A further reflection is that you cannot know nor control how many people will be harmed by your reaction. When you express anger to someone and upset them you are not operating within a closed system, but rather making yourself the central branch from which unlimited further branches will sprout. Think about this. If you upset your Mum then she might go and upset your Dad who then goes and upsets his two brothers and a sister, they in turn then upset their work colleagues and respected families, and so on and so on. For as long as there remain people without tolerance this branching out of anger will never end. An angry outburst of your own from ten years ago is still reverberating around the world to this very day. When you master tolerance then you become the pacifying branch that absorbs anger and transforms it into love, which then takes on its own life of branching out forever.
It all sounds very heavy, but if you can assimilate this understanding within your being then the tolerance you will develop alone will transform your life and many, many other lives. Once this is mastered then you can begin to consider how you can actually help people, not just not harm them.
If you just can't wait, you can always practice compassion. That is open to everyone, and it helps you to get you outside of your head. It doesn't have to be a volunteer thing--that may be too much for you when you're depressed. It could be something small such as helping a loved one around the house. This is Buddhism.
My antidepressants, along with my mood stabilizer and atypical antipsychotic are saving my life right now. I am now going back to school with motivation I didn't know possible. Medication is an option worth exploring.
I spoke to a monk not so long ago on practising Buddhism with depression, bi polar ect. His mindfull thoughts were, people of such mind imbalance should stay on Medication while starting out learning and understanding Buddhism, they will know when the time is right to let go of medication.
Anyway enjoy your first meditation learnings, don't expect miracles, take your time and speak to people there after the class.
Good luck and keep us posted :-)