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The Event of Anger
Hello everyone,
Some of you may recall I was posting maybe a week ago with my issues regarding entering Buddhism. I have retained a sort of confidence that I am practicing true to myself. I still need to begin taking in true teachings and disciplining my mind in meditation, as it is extremely hard for me to retain form. I'm hoping to work on this in the days to come, if I can get over myself.
Regardless I'm here to discuss something different. My knowledge on the true teachings of the Buddha are limited, but I do know that Anger is one of the Hindrances/Poisons. As a person, I have never been one to apologize except out of modesty. Admitting my wrongdoing is a sign of weakness to myself, and was a severe cause of anxiety when I coupled it with my greed. I also tend to become extremely defensive should a situation meet certain subconscious standards. Beneath all of these issues, which I am not yet free of, I harbor a very, very bad temper. The kind that builds upon itself as unaggravating/minorly annoying situations become gateways to even more explosive anger, which simply broods in my mind.
I'm not sure if I was simply looking to get it off my chest or if I am seeking a solution. Things like this require a great deal of external influence and personal discipline to eventually suppress, so I suppose it's something that meditation may cure over time.
Man, they aren't kidding when they call Anger a Hindrance. I feel like crap now.
Thank you for any potential aid,
-Shaun
Some of you may recall I was posting maybe a week ago with my issues regarding entering Buddhism. I have retained a sort of confidence that I am practicing true to myself. I still need to begin taking in true teachings and disciplining my mind in meditation, as it is extremely hard for me to retain form. I'm hoping to work on this in the days to come, if I can get over myself.
Regardless I'm here to discuss something different. My knowledge on the true teachings of the Buddha are limited, but I do know that Anger is one of the Hindrances/Poisons. As a person, I have never been one to apologize except out of modesty. Admitting my wrongdoing is a sign of weakness to myself, and was a severe cause of anxiety when I coupled it with my greed. I also tend to become extremely defensive should a situation meet certain subconscious standards. Beneath all of these issues, which I am not yet free of, I harbor a very, very bad temper. The kind that builds upon itself as unaggravating/minorly annoying situations become gateways to even more explosive anger, which simply broods in my mind.
I'm not sure if I was simply looking to get it off my chest or if I am seeking a solution. Things like this require a great deal of external influence and personal discipline to eventually suppress, so I suppose it's something that meditation may cure over time.
Man, they aren't kidding when they call Anger a Hindrance. I feel like crap now.
Thank you for any potential aid,
-Shaun
0
Comments
I think the one thing is to be Buddhist you have to be honest with yourself. Even If that may mean admitting you are wrong.
And meditation definitely helps
Good luck and I wish you the best.
try to absorb that, or does it make you angry?
buddha said there is no self.
there is suffering but no sufferer.
who am i? am i a nobody?
i think so.....
anger is a reaction to something that shoudnt be.
it is not right.
according to whom?
according to me , of course.
an arahant does not get angry. why?
becos there is no one to get angry.
I've tried to highlight the first part where you point to your lack of confidence and inability to take responsibility for your actions.
Beneath it is the frustration that may lead to your brooding anger.
You refer to 'suppression' as a possible cure?
It's not an illness that may be cured - it is a natural response to your environment - work towards understanding your nature, accepting yourself and dealing with the frustrations and suppressions - you may find as a result that you are more focused and able to determine your reactions to stimuli in a more consistent and satisfying way.
Good luck.
Sometimes i get angry when my children don't do their school work or follow rules. But what it comes down to, is me being afraid for what their future holds if they don't keep on their studies and learn to follow rules. Because I know that, it's much easier to let go of the anger and deal with the real issue-my fear that they won't be what I hope them to be. Then of course I realize that I am projecting onto my kids the things I was afraid of as a kid, and that they will be ok, they are their own people and will make their own way just as I have. Anyhow, just an example of the process I go through when I realize i'm getting angry about something. Figure out what it is you are afraid of. If you only get more angry thinking "I'm not afraid" I'm mad people this person is an idiot!" then your fear is probably rather deep seated and you'll have to continue to meditate and dig to get to the bottom of it.
Also, identifying how you are feeling takes the power away from those feelings. "i'm mad" is a pretty general term and often you can narrow it down to irritation, annoyance, aggravation, etc. and again it's easier to let go of when you identify it and take away the power the feeling is having over you.
Meditation most definitely helps. On difficult days, I might meditate many times a day, even for 5 minutes or so just to get my bearings again and remind myself of what type of day I am trying to have. I've been having a very difficult situation going on in my family and I find that I can deal much better with it when I meditate often. I also feel much better and don't succumb to anger and fear nearly as much.
I used to have an awful temper. Holes in the wall and everything and I still fall prey to it sometimes (though not to that degree anymore) but when I realized it was just me being totally self absorbed it started to let up a little.
So, you begin to feel angry. Grab the pen and write it down - date, maybe time and why.
Now feel yourself. Did you manage the anger? Did you not?
I did this, and it was soo effective. I got really mindful of my anger and thus able to control it. Slowly it disappeared. You have to focus a little sometimes not to fall back.
The point in writing it down is both to be mindful as well as taking a break from the thoughts fueling the anger - often you see, that there was no reason to become angry.
Also, later you can look at why you got angry in your "anger diary".. It's more than enough incentive to continue, as it's often quite embarrassing to read..
so many people worried about anger here. Free yourself from budhism/religion, free yourself from this "anger" you have built up. the 2 feed each other. sad that probably everyone will think this advice is BS. O wells I tried. as you where.
Yes, if you focus on something (anger) and tie it with an expectation, you have a craving and its accompanying suffering.
If you focus on something to illuminate it's birth, life and death, without an expectation,
you might see it's relationship to your sense of identity and the formally unseen choices we have to feed or not feed it's causes.
Buddhism just means making choices about feeding attachments or not.