Thought for the day

Wisdom23

Someone mentioned today something that got me thinking and thought it would make a good discussion topic. He claimed that in the west especially even though we are highly populated most of us a mere existing by ourselves taking care of ourselves. Basically that the worls is actual a lonely place. The example he gave was your born alone, you spend most of your time alone and then you die alone.

I wont post my view on this just yet i would like to see what all you think and i will join in the discussion later.

RebeccaS

I dunno... I mean... It's technically true I suppose, but at the same time there is just something off with the whole idea. The only time I ever thought like that was when I had pretty severe depression. There's definitely something off with the idea, but I can't really put my finger on it.

Wisdom23

i agree with you and i agree with it lol thats why i try and engage in conversation with people when i dont necessariy have to our great people on the street witha smile just to let them know they have been acknowledges lol

coz

its alwasy so cool to great someone on the street you always get a big smile
back in the day people would always great each other, i think we can bring that wonderful gesture back
coz

vinlyn

To some extent, I think it's true. Half of us die without a spouse there.

When I lived in Thailand it was very unusual, for example, to go out to a restaurant alone. It actually seemed to make the waiters and waitresses nervous, and they would sometimes stand there and chat with me, simply because I was alone. To them, you should always eat with someone. Many other things seemed more to them to be group things than we would think so in the West.

NMADDP

Probably true. Because in the west, there is too much of "individualism". Should have more "buddhism" ).

One example: we want more privacy, so we become more lonely (.

Cinorjer

I wasn't born alone. My mother was there to welcome me into the world.

I don't live alone. I not only have the family and friends around me, but all the thinkers and writers and artists throughout history surround me and speak to me at all times, if I but bother to seek them out.

I won't die alone. If nothing else, the universe itself will hold my hand and wish me farewell on my journey.

That is what I would tell your friend.

ThailandTom

coz said:

its alwasy so cool to great someone on the street you always get a big smile
back in the day people would always great each other, i think we can bring that wonderful gesture back
coz

In Thailand, well most areas of the country, people still say hello and stuff to strangers. I have conversations with strangers sometimes. It is a much warmer and laid back culture compared to what I use to live with in England, that country has such a cold bunch of people in general, makes me shudder to think about it to be honest.

driedleaf

Wisdom23 said:

The example he gave was your born alone, you spend most of your time alone and then you die alone.

I have heard of this quote before from Ajahn Brahm in one of his talks. I think its suppose to teach us how to deal with loneliness. I believe it to be true though. Some may deny that they do not spend most of their time alone, but if you think about it, who would want to follow someone around 24 hours a day? So since we do not have anyone around with us 24 hours a day, then we are spending our time alone most of the time. I actually enjoy alone time. I can meditate and think more clearly when I am alone. It feels more peaceful, and I believe we are naturally happy when at peace.

music

It is wise to avoid people completely. It gives us more time to meditate and do important things.

ThailandTom

music said:

It is wise to avoid people completely. It gives us more time to meditate and do important things.

Yea, so avoiding people is the name of the game is it? You need to open your mind as well as your heart which means being compassionate to people and all living beings, interacting with them and not avoiding them... :skeptic:

Dakini

Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely. Solitude is bliss.

Again, for those who haven't seen it, the Buddha's Rhinoceros Sutra:
http://www.hermitary.com/solitude/rhinoceros.html

pegembara

It is goes against human nature to be alone. We are hardly ever alone even when we are physically isolated, we have people in our thoughts. When we think of loved ones even though they are far away, it as though they are right there. Even at the time of death, we think of those we are leaving behind and some even think of reuniting with the dead relatives.

The mind rebels against aloneness labels it as loneliness and unfortunately this is a major cause of pain/suffering.

CITTAVIVEKA is a word in the Pali language meaning 'the mind of non-attachment'. A major theme of the Buddha's teaching – known as the Dhamma – is that suffering is caused by attachment, and that the aim and result of the correct application of the teachings is a mind of non-attachment.

For a Buddhist this is the way it should be; after all, the ground of the practice is that 'aloneness' of the mind that the Buddha praised as viveka. This aloneness is often established in physical solitude (kayaviveka), but more meaningfully becomes the withdrawal of the mind from defilement (cittaviveka), and may reach the realisation of freedom from the mind's self-forming tendencies (upadhiviveka).

Aj Sucitto

http://www.fsnewsletter.amaravati.org/html/28/editor.htm

Bunks

ThailandTom said:

coz said:

its alwasy so cool to great someone on the street you always get a big smile
back in the day people would always great each other, i think we can bring that wonderful gesture back
coz

In Thailand, well most areas of the country, people still say hello and stuff to strangers. I have conversations with strangers sometimes. It is a much warmer and laid back culture compared to what I use to live with in England, that country has such a cold bunch of people in general, makes me shudder to think about it to be honest.

I found London a very lonely city to live in. No-one spoke to each other or looked each other in the eye on the street. If you tried to make conversation people treated you like a leper!

I found this quite confronting at first but became used to it after a little while.

I chat to people on the train and trams now in Melbourne. If you make an effort people will always open up. It's nice.

ThailandTom

I understand that solitude is bliss and lonliness is not the same as being alone, one can be alone and totally happy, like me as I am alone for the vast majority of the time. But I just did not agree with the statement that said we should avoid contact with people as we have more important things to do, kind of sounds selfish.

@Bunks yea I will admit as a culture the Brits are really quite cold in general. It was a wonderful change to come here and just talk to random people when I feel like it without being ignored or seen as insane. It is because in London everyone is out for themselves, looking out for #1, but across the UK there is just something about many of the people there, as if there is something jammed up their rear.

Bunks

Not sure about that @ThailandTom. I do think British people aren't perhaps as open as other cultures. Takes a little more work to get them to open up.

ThailandTom

I'm British so I and I do not mean everyone of course, but there is just this general feeling I seemed to get on a train, or bus or even walking down the street. Maybe I used the wrong collection of words but there is something quite cold about that culture

federica

Bunks said:

Not sure about that @ThailandTom. I do think British people aren't perhaps as open as other cultures. Takes a little more work to get them to open up.

At the risk of sounding controversial, British Culture is an oxymoron. I'd even go so far as to say, there's no such thing any more.

Wisdom23

Thank you to all those who responded to my discussion i agree with many of the points being raised especially about british society lol although some areas i must say seem to be more relaxed than others. Me thinks the weather probably has alot to do with it lol

ThailandTom

Wisdom23 said:

Thank you to all those who responded to my discussion i agree with many of the points being raised especially about british society lol although some areas i must say seem to be more relaxed than others. Me thinks the weather probably has alot to do with it lol

hahahaha. spot on my friend. It gets a lot of people down and is the reason why most Brits when they meet talk about the weather. There is even a medical diagnosed condition related to weather and depression.... But of course everywhere there are pros and cons, but I feel more at home here than I ever did in the UK for 21 or so years!

music

ThailandTom said:

music said:

It is wise to avoid people completely. It gives us more time to meditate and do important things.

Yea, so avoiding people is the name of the game is it? You need to open your mind as well as your heart which means being compassionate to people and all living beings, interacting with them and not avoiding them... :skeptic:

Do you really believe this? By avoiding people, one can avoid all the negative reactions that come with social interactions, such as anger, envy etc. that could help us avoid future births in hellish realms.

RebeccaS

music said:

ThailandTom said:

music said:

It is wise to avoid people completely. It gives us more time to meditate and do important things.

Yea, so avoiding people is the name of the game is it? You need to open your mind as well as your heart which means being compassionate to people and all living beings, interacting with them and not avoiding them... :skeptic:

Do you really believe this? By avoiding people, one can avoid all the negative reactions that come with social interactions, such as anger, envy etc. that could help us avoid future births in hellish realms.

Nah, you'd still have those problems because you would never have given yourself the opportunity to get over them.

It's like... You're the smartest kid in your school, and then you get to college and find yourself surrounded by people waaay smarter than you and realise that you're actually not that smart after all. The "I'm the smartest person ever" thing you had going on was all just in your head and had nothing to do with reality.

So you'd avoid people all your life, convince yourself that you're super peaceful and awesome, but you go out to get milk one day and someone stands on your foot and you throw your groceries at him. Because you never learned to actually be peaceful, it was all just in your head.

It's like saying you know how to drive because you played Mario kart.

ThailandTom

music said:

ThailandTom said:

music said:

It is wise to avoid people completely. It gives us more time to meditate and do important things.

Yea, so avoiding people is the name of the game is it? You need to open your mind as well as your heart which means being compassionate to people and all living beings, interacting with them and not avoiding them... :skeptic:

Do you really believe this? By avoiding people, one can avoid all the negative reactions that come with social interactions, such as anger, envy etc. that could help us avoid future births in hellish realms.

Sorry to be blunt but I consider this to be highly delusional when it comes to the path and Buddha nature. Buddhism is not about avoiding things, becomming something, or getting rid of things, it is being content with how things are. Shutting yourself away can only do so much, you can even create hell realms in your own mind by yourself. If I was you I would ponder on this fiurther and meditate on it.