RE: My brother died yesterday

Adiana

Hello to everyone here.

I am asking for prayers for my kids and me. My brother died yesterday around 6pm. I was contacted around 7pm yesterday by the police and my brother's neighbor, Brian, who found Jim. Jim evidently was taking a nap in his recliner chair and suffered a massive coronary in his sleep. I am sorry to post such depressing news but I was reminded by someone here who I contacted via private message that I should share my sadness and allow my friends here to support me in my time of need. It's hard for me to ask for help but I am so angry, heartbroken, and confused that I don't know what to do! I have been trying to keep it together for my kids but I don't think I am doing a very good job of it! They keep telling me to take it easy since I had heart problems myself a while back which was one reason I had been away from the site for so long. Anyway, any prayers will be gratefully appreciated. Thanks so much.

Adiana :mad:

colleen

my thoughts are with you adiana.. i can only imagine what you are going
through..
im lost for words.. but support is here.

ajani_mgo

I understand how it feels like when you feel deeply about something but the whole world seems to be advocating to not do so.

My condolences to you, Adiana, we are with you always.

harlan

Thank you for sharing with us, and my condolances to you and your family.

inthedharma

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Condolances to you and your family.

Argon.Aid

My condolences to you too, I'm sorry to hear about your lost but rest assured everyone here will be more than willing to share this sorrow with you (including me!). I know you will find the strength to go through this. as mentioned by eveyone here, support is here for you.

Brian

Oh Adiana

Palzang

My condolences as well, Adiana. If you would like to PM me his name, we do phowa practice for the recently deceased regularly at our temple.

Palzang

Brigid

Adiana,

I will be thinking of you as I light the candles and perform the ceremonies. Please let yourself cry because it's not good to hold it in. You don't have to be "strong" for anyone but yourself so do what feels right. My heart is aching for you and I would do anything to physically take some of your sorrow away. Just know that I'm here anytime, night or day, whenever you need the shoulder of a friend. And know that we love you.

Your friend,
Brigid

Xrayman

Deepest sympathy to you. You are in my prayers. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF! check your own health out as soon as you can. Wishing you well, and your family as well.

regards,
Richard

buddhafoot

My thoughts are with you.

-bf

Michelle

I'll be thinking of you, Adiana. Please be gentle with yourself .

Namaste,
Michelle

Adiana

I just want to say thanks to all of you for the compassion and kindness that has been shown to me and my family. All of you are terrific! Thanks so much! I also appreciate the private messages and those of you who sent me your email addresses as well as phone numbers. I never cease to be amazed at the kindness as well as the compassion of the people here at this site. Once again, thank you all! We are having my brother's funeral tomorrow and over 40 people so far that Jim and I both know and call our friends have shown up from all over the U.S! I am truly amazed also at the flowers and phone calls as well. I feel very lucky and truly blessed to have the friends that I have---both online here and in person.

Adiana

Palzang

Just an FYI, our website also has a prayer request form in case you want special prayers to be done for anyone. If it is someone who died, please indicate so, and we'll add them to the phowa practice (phowa is the practice of transferring the consciousness at the time of death, but doing the practice for people who have recently died is more a way of dedicating merit to that person to help ensure a more auspicious rebirth). Please make use of this service as that's what we're there for, and it really does help.

Palzang

Iawa

Keeping you in my thoughts and intentions today.

I recieved the following from a friend just this morning.

Wishing you find peace where you are.
Steve


"The Guest House"

by Jelaluddin Rumi,
translated by Coleman Barks in his book *Essential Rumi*
http://tinyurl.com/nl8g9


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Hanna

I'm sorry.

Simonthepilgrim

Adiana,

You know that you and your family are part of my daily 'memorialisation'. Three of my siblings have cast off their mortal bodies and, each time, it is like another sword in the heart!

YogaMama

Adiana, my heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry to hear this. You will be in my thoughts. hang in there...we all love you!

Kim

Simonthepilgrim

I have realised that, when we lose a sibling, we lose a witness to our own childhood and to the secret language of our first family. This came home to me very strongly when my wife's grandmother died aged 103. Although there were a lot of old friends at her funeral, there was no one left who remembered her as a child.

buddhafoot

Simonthepilgrim wrote:

I have realised that, when we lose a sibling, we lose a witness to our own childhood and to the secret language of our first family. This came home to me very strongly when my wife's grandmother died aged 103. Although there were a lot of old friends at her funeral, there was no one left who remembered her as a child.

You make some of the most interesting and though-provoking posts, Simon.

-bf

Adiana

Simonthepilgrim wrote:

I have realised that, when we lose a sibling, we lose a witness to our own childhood and to the secret language of our first family. This came home to me very strongly when my wife's grandmother died aged 103. Although there were a lot of old friends at her funeral, there was no one left who remembered her as a child.

Simon,

So true, so true! What also hit both Jim and me was when our father died---we both realized that we were half-orphaned. It is a scary thing to contemplate one's own mortality. But, I tell myself that Jim lives on and I know he's talking to our dad and my late husband, Sonny. I also know that the three of them are watching out for the kids and me. That's a comforting thought, too.

Adiana:)

Sabine

I'm very sorry, Adiana. I read this thread a few weeks late, but you're still in my meditations.

Unknown

And mine.

Brigid

Hi, Rambling. Welcome to the board. I'm very glad to meet you. Make yourself at home and I hope you enjoy it here as much as I do.

Adiana,

I've been thinking of you a lot and hoping you're doing okay. Remember we're here for you whenever you need us.

Much love,
Brigid

Jason

Adiana, all,

I wish that I could give you some sort of material or spiritual comfort considering all of the many things that you have had to endure recently. I feel the same way for so many others here as well including Brian, Simon, and Jerry. I fight to find the right words to say, but as Brian once told me, sometimes words just seem empty. All too often, it is hard to do very much in the way of helping to shoulder the burdens inherent in this world besides giving a few words of support or advice, but the intention to do whatever is needed is always there. I truly wish that I could something more for everyone in their times of need—something tangible and meaningful. Unfortunately, due to a combination of human limitations and physical distance, all I can really offer to all of you are empty words, but just know that the intentions underlying those words are not empty at all.

With love,

Jason