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Family History
novaw0lf
Veteran
The Chinese take their culture very seriously, and it's inspired me to trace my family roots. Now, this has not been very easy, because I'm a mix-blooded American. My mother is a third generation Korean and British, and my father was a 2nd generation Barbadian.
I traveled to Ellis Island in New York many years ago and researched my father's last name: Molyneaux, and traced a family patence for it, being French. I theorized that the mix happened during the slave trade, since Barbados was a colonized Caribbean island where many Africans were taken in transit to the Americas by the Europeans. My father's side was probably given the last name of the slave master, however, that is still a legitimate blood-line to the French if a slave master procreated with a female slave.
I, however, did not get the French surname "Molyneaux"; I received the name: Norton, because I was born out of wedlock. My name's Mike Norton. Norton is a British last name, and the mix with Korean happened sometime around the Korean war, since the Norton family has served throughout many wars for the United States.
My Korean surname would be Huang, but through marriage under western rules, that name was bumped off.
When I myself was serving in the military, there was an actual military sponsored agency that was permitted to advertise their researching services to us at a reasonable cost. I paid them to do the footwork that I couldn't, and they found the Norton patence and family sword, making for me a general replica of British swords of the age the patence was made, and engraving it with the Norton patence. I did a lot of the homework myself, so I do know that the patence is real, even if the sword was generic.
Now, my dilemma lies in the fact that I do don't really know what family to represent. Here in China, I've been asked several times about my lineage, because I look wierd. I don't look entirely black; I don't look entirely anything, so I get a lot of curious questions about my heritage, and honestly, I don't know what to tell them. African blacks and American blacks are pretty much two separate races now, like Puerto Ricans and Mexicans, because Africa is a continent that is generally at war with itself with many different tribes and governments. Yet if you were to ask the average African American what tribe they descend from, or what part of Africa they come from, they generally wouldn't be able to answer you, because of their lineage dates back to the slave days, all of that information was discarded to the wind by the slave masters.
What I want to do, is draw up my own brand new patence, and choose a family weapon of my own making (I've been a martial artist for 11 years). I'd like to know what you guys think of this.
Through a series of very unfortunate events, I was actually disowned from the rest of the Norton bloodline, so I'm actually on my own out here. If I start a family...it'll be an entirely new chapter. Am I morally wrong to abandon the traditional patences and start a fresh new one (or even take a new name, possibly), or should I stick to tradition with the same patence?
...I never thought about any of this until I started living in China.
I traveled to Ellis Island in New York many years ago and researched my father's last name: Molyneaux, and traced a family patence for it, being French. I theorized that the mix happened during the slave trade, since Barbados was a colonized Caribbean island where many Africans were taken in transit to the Americas by the Europeans. My father's side was probably given the last name of the slave master, however, that is still a legitimate blood-line to the French if a slave master procreated with a female slave.
I, however, did not get the French surname "Molyneaux"; I received the name: Norton, because I was born out of wedlock. My name's Mike Norton. Norton is a British last name, and the mix with Korean happened sometime around the Korean war, since the Norton family has served throughout many wars for the United States.
My Korean surname would be Huang, but through marriage under western rules, that name was bumped off.
When I myself was serving in the military, there was an actual military sponsored agency that was permitted to advertise their researching services to us at a reasonable cost. I paid them to do the footwork that I couldn't, and they found the Norton patence and family sword, making for me a general replica of British swords of the age the patence was made, and engraving it with the Norton patence. I did a lot of the homework myself, so I do know that the patence is real, even if the sword was generic.
Now, my dilemma lies in the fact that I do don't really know what family to represent. Here in China, I've been asked several times about my lineage, because I look wierd. I don't look entirely black; I don't look entirely anything, so I get a lot of curious questions about my heritage, and honestly, I don't know what to tell them. African blacks and American blacks are pretty much two separate races now, like Puerto Ricans and Mexicans, because Africa is a continent that is generally at war with itself with many different tribes and governments. Yet if you were to ask the average African American what tribe they descend from, or what part of Africa they come from, they generally wouldn't be able to answer you, because of their lineage dates back to the slave days, all of that information was discarded to the wind by the slave masters.
What I want to do, is draw up my own brand new patence, and choose a family weapon of my own making (I've been a martial artist for 11 years). I'd like to know what you guys think of this.
Through a series of very unfortunate events, I was actually disowned from the rest of the Norton bloodline, so I'm actually on my own out here. If I start a family...it'll be an entirely new chapter. Am I morally wrong to abandon the traditional patences and start a fresh new one (or even take a new name, possibly), or should I stick to tradition with the same patence?
...I never thought about any of this until I started living in China.
0
Comments
A slave to the past? Proud of your heritage? Time to move on?
Just so you know. The questions are for your contemplation. More egoic display is not really required . . . Or is it? Apologies for any distress but you sound like a big boy. :wave:
I am a slave to the past, and carry much emotional weight on my shoulders. Even if I do not mean to let it show, it does, both in what I write and say, and what I don't write and say. As if I were a boy screaming for attention, though still devoid of malevolence. It is time to move on, though this is easier said that than done, believe me.
"The only way to know thyself is through the eyes of the other." -Cloud Atlas
The bright side is, that at least people like you keep me honest and aware of whatever ego problems I may have.
We all have shackles of the past too, some greater than others granted, but there are shackles there ready to close on us at anytime. I have seen my own father go through suffering because he knows nothing of his family roots as he was adopted. He has chosen to address things in an unwise manner IMO, he does not abuse drugs or alcohol, but he suppresses it which causes a lot of issues which have been passed down to me and my sister. So again, like yesterday there should be a middle way here I think. one should not get wrapped up in this kind of thing and attach to it like an octopus on steroids, but then again to totally ignore it or strive to keep out any feelings and emotions linked to it is also unwise.
You say many valuable things. Your history is not irrelevant. It is why you have the capacity to empower and enable understanding in me and others. Your experience gives you unique insight. Don't waste it in silence. :wave:
Yes, we are all egotistical. And this definitely showed in the first edition of what I wrote (which has been taken off the market), because growing up the way I did was like navigating the seven seas without a compass, but I was determined to find the right path, no matter how painful the journey may be in reading the harsher critiques of my personality.
For those seeking truth, for those who seek to know their selves truly, I actually say that it's -healthy- to take the social risk of sticking out and saying something. They say that the nail that sticks out the most gets hammered, but there is really no more of an effective way that I've found of finding truth about who you really are then to put who you are in the spotlight.
If you are egotistical, yes it will show; if you're screaming for attention, yes it will show; if you're a downright bigoted right-wing extremist racist, yes...it will show. However, if we do not run from the pain of being exposed in our wanting, our flaws, and we do not parry the honest and unbiased opinions of others with defense mechanisms (because the truth hurts, and it's natural to defend oneself against it; this is how and why we lie to ourselves and block our own path to enlightenment without realizing it), then we can spiritually "level-up" so to speak...extremely quickly.
This is probably the most painful and often the most embarrassing process, yet ironically the most effective, I've discovered. This post originally started off as something egotistical, but I hope those who read it also read our comments below and find that there -is- something to take from this whole ordeal. There always is. Thanks.
We may be all egotistical, but I believe that there is truth in that we are all important and vital to the universe in our own way.
Attention starvation is a need, it requires food. It is part of the Middle Way. If we do not attend to the social and psychological need for attention, we end up damaged. However unless this component can be integrated into the requirements of a group, it becomes counterproductive. So the goal of buddhism is what? Psychological and social education? Attention fulfilment? Waking up? I sincerely hope others will decide to become Buddhas, this year or sooner . . . What will we say to such ego maniacs, especially if they 'attain'? :thumbsup:
As far as I am concerned, anyone who is able to examine and realise the requirements and downside of the ego is gaining potential insight.
There are other ways of looking at this. Cage changing. That is swapping in one set of characteristics for more subtle or refined ones.
Allowing the egoic aspects to 'burn themselves out', so the true nature becomes active.
Observing the arisings and making a conscious choice of intuitive expression.
. . . Maybe I will just become a Buddha and find the right way . . .
:clap:
Anyways, to address the core of your post: I don't believe that it's "morally wrong" to abandon your traditional patence (but I'm not very familiar with English genealogy and traditions). It depends on how you feel - do you feel a strong affiliation with it? If not, then I don't see why you couldn't just go off and start your own line.
Do you feel the need to identify with one particular part of your ancestry (e.g. English/Barbadian/Korean)?
There's no real need to adhere to tradition for the sake of tradition if you don't feel affiliated with it in any way.
This wasn't a very "Buddhist" post, but just my two cents.
Honestly, I feel very insecure and trapped between three different worlds. It is as lobster said: In black families, from my personal experience, one is greatly guilt tripped for representing any culture other than black, if they have any black in them at all. I theorize that its remnant bad innate mental wiring from the One Drop Rule that we as a people have yet to psychologically recover from. Yet paradoxically, one who has mixed features (lighter skin, naturally wavy or straight hair, or colored eyes other than dark brown) is thought to be very physically attractive.
Again, I reiterate lobster's words by saying that I have bad mental wiring that I've been combating for years because of this.
I was picked on -greatly- by other black children as a child because of my features and foreign upbringing. Black kids who start off in rich families, then because of financial misfortune who socially fall to lower incomes and therein more predominantly black schools (an epidemic that plagues America, for education should be the same everywhere for every race) who speak differently, and demonstrate eccentricities like writing Asian calligraphy in class stick out like a sore thumb. Sore thumbs get noticed, and not in a good way.
I'm aware that it exists, and just want to be free of it. I feel as if completely disconnecting from such is a good way to let go of the past and start completely anew; though, I cannot help but feel extreme guilt for even thinking so. This is the true motivation for this post, to seek an answer, not to show off a mixed or deep heritage. I'm greatly sorry if I seemed egotistical; I was merely listing the full details of my research for the sake of the forum's understanding, I just thought that the Buddhists here would be more than experienced in the relinquishing the vestiges of dead mental weight, so I posted this to seek guidance.
A rich variety of experiences, good or bad, gives us a depth of practice material and wisdom. It is in recognizing how to transform imagined obstacles, past suffering and the huge baggage we all have, that progress can be enabled. The greatest battle is not in overcoming others, situations or our personal goals. It is far harder than that. We have to make peace with ourselves . . . .